I suffered from it for roughly four year- 15-19. Bad bad bad times.
How did it affect your life?
At the time, obviously it was absolutely horrible. I was ashamed by it and scared by it, I tried to hide it from as many people as I could. My family never knew, they thought I was going through 'normal teenage problems' and was disappointed in not being about to go on school tours, camps etc. Some days I would just burst into tears, even though nothing specific was bothering me, I just felt so so empty and so lost in who I was.
However, feeling a lot better now, and I believe it has made me a much stronger person, and more aware of others feelings, and more able to control how I feel, and deal with it.
How did you deal with it?
badly- self harm, developed an ED. I THOUGHT it helped me through, but it didnt. It just gives you more things to battle, so please please please dont resort to this- you will make it so much harder on yourself.
I saw a school counsellor who was crap. I obviously couldnt tell her about what I was doing, as she would've had to tell someone. So she told me she thought I was ready to stop seeing her, and to remember that I have a 'sensitive soul'. pppht.
saw a uni counsellor last year, she was a bit better- but she was leaving on long service leave. gave me a letter to take to my GP to go see a psych but I never did.
Eventually, I just pulled myself out of it. Built a barrier, try not to care as much.
I dont like how i've dealt with it, I wish now that I'd seen someone professionally, wish I'd gone to that GP and been passed on to a psych, its such a healthy and successful was of dealing with it. I was scared of seeing one, as my mum is in the business..I was worried she would find out.
Did you seek help? Who?
As above.
Is it fair on friend/s if you lean on them during this time?
Um. some. some cant handle it. I lost some friends, or a level of closeness I'd had with friends through it. But i'm glad I found out how much they could handle. I need people around me who I can talk to, who can understand how I feel- so I was able to move closer to those ones. There were a few that were absolutely amazing through it all. But I didnt want them to be burdened with my troubles as well as their own, which is why I saw the counsellor initially. One particular encouraged me to talk about everything with him. He was amazingly helpful and was able to give me spurts of happiness. So...just choose carefully which friends to lean on.
Ultimately, what I would say to anyone in this situation- is that it is too hard by yourself. Please talk to someone.