MedVision ad

Love Poem to a girl I like? part 1 (1 Viewer)

Dream-Big

Member
Joined
Jan 12, 2014
Messages
97
Location
Carlingford
Gender
Male
HSC
2013
Uni Grad
2017
hi my name is joey. i'm doing mechencial engineering at the University of techonology sydney and i'm first year. I really like this girl but I think she doesn't like me. i'm sad for this. that's why i will write her a poem, but i didn't do 4unit english, only standard english with a mark of band 2.

Love poem -

your eyes are wide closed
when my eyes are opened
why is this?
Is the your world not good for me
Or thy shall be no more?
CAPS! Ha! I suprised you!
For making this a sad moment for the
and shall my world not be with you
i will find another soul mate
and shall be greater than the
and i found the just now
and until and thy, i will find love
with thy,


Do you like my poem? sorry for the grammar and spelling, i don't like english but writing a poem might help her like me again..

I try to use words from shakespeare which makes it look smarted

thanks.name is joey
 

T-R-O-L-O-L

TOO GOOD TO BE CLASSIFIED
Joined
Jan 29, 2013
Messages
430
Location
A Hole
Gender
Male
HSC
2016
Wtf?
Nah sounds good. Just make sure the grammar is up to scratch.
 

Axio

=o
Joined
Mar 20, 2014
Messages
484
Gender
Male
HSC
2015
Love poem -

your eyes are closed
when my eyes are open
why is this?
Is your world not good enough for me
Or thy shall be no more?
CAPS! Ha! I surprised you!
For making this a sad moment
and shall my world not be with you
I will find another soul mate
but I hope with you, I will find love, with thee

^ I think this makes a bit more grammatical sense. The poem is a bit aggressive as well as being a bit weird in general...
 
Last edited:

Maxwell

bow peasants
Joined
Aug 1, 2013
Messages
394
Location
not near u coz u aint hot enough
Gender
Male
HSC
2014
hi my name is joey. i'm doing mechencial engineering at the University of techonology sydney and i'm first year. I really like this girl but I think she doesn't like me. i'm sad for this. that's why i will write her a poem, but i didn't do 4unit english, only standard english with a mark of band 2.

Love poem -

your eyes are wide closed
when my eyes are opened
why is this?
Is the your world not good for me
Or thy shall be no more?
CAPS! Ha! I suprised you!
For making this a sad moment for the
and shall my world not be with you
i will find another soul mate
and shall be greater than the
and i found the just now
and until and thy, i will find love
with thy,


Do you like my poem? sorry for the grammar and spelling, i don't like english but writing a poem might help her like me again..

I try to use words from shakespeare which makes it look smarted

thanks.name is joey
Your use of enjambment for effect is perfect. Very abstract. 10/10
should've done 4u english tbh
Make sure that after you read it to her you provide an analysis. You'll seem even more smarted and she'll be all over u like a fat kid with cake
 
Last edited:

wannaspoon

ремове кебаб
Joined
Aug 8, 2012
Messages
1,401
Gender
Male
HSC
2007
Uni Grad
2014


just ask her out; if she says no, move on; if she says yes, jackpot... no poems required... kids these days...
 

tofusenpai

Active Member
Joined
Nov 1, 2014
Messages
207
Gender
Female
HSC
2017
You should check out this poet Lang Leav. She writes nice genuine lyrics that aren't overly cheesy or anything but it's more boy to girl but yea you can get inspiration from her poems
 

Users Who Are Viewing This Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 1)

Top