umm, omie's a boy and enthused is a girl
and we are siblings
and we both go to the same uni
yep, we say hi if we see each other
no sibling rivalry here
-
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UNSW Myths, Fables and Stories. (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter Omium
- Start date
umm, omie's a boy and enthused is a girl
and we are siblings
and we both go to the same uni
yep, we say hi if we see each other
no sibling rivalry here
Omie Jay
gone
and the laptop ur on sux
Omie Jay
gone
how's ur cat goin schroe?
shinji
Is in A State Of Trance
Haha!
Was hoping you wouldn't notice. .. *ahem* Woops ? Typo. o;
That's cute though. I purposely went to UNSW instead of USYD where both of my sisters went so we didn't see each other all the time.. haha
Omie Jay
gone
oh man ur a mean brother!
edit: holy crap, 2001 posts! :O
edit: holy crap, 2001 posts! :O
missanonymous7
Secretive Member
lol!
How about I bring in my actual camera ('actual' as opposed to 'phone camera') (it's silent too), and then...
1. approach said guy.
2. tap him on shoulder.
3. aim camera and ask (in ditziest possible tone) 'hey, um, can you tell me...is there, like, a flashing light at the front? I was trying to take a photo earlier and don't know if it's working...'
4. meanwhile, take photo. (without flash; that would be a bit of a giveaway.)
5. when he says 'uh, no, I can't see anything', look confusedly at camera and go 'Oh...there must be something wrong with it. Thanks anyway.'
6. Feel victorious.
lollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
Ya, most people wouldnt understand though.
"Need to spread more rep before giving to Schroedinger again"
Congrats on Goldmember btw.
Omie Jay
gone
i understood it but i already repped u today.
Legend has it that the main library was renovated recently because Doctor Who had a fight with the Daleks.
The doctor deliberately fucked up the library lifts with his sonic screwdriver, forcing the Daleks to attempt to use the stairs. Unfortunately, they couldn't fit through any of the doorways off the stairway so this plan didn't work. They also realised that blasting a hole through the ceiling wouldn't help either unless they wanted the library's shitty foundation crashing over their shiny, metallic heads.
With no other options left, they exited the building on ground level, shouting "EXTERMINATE" at and blasting any dirty socialists who were promoting outside. A few Daleks stayed inside the library. One tried using the toilets and noticed a sticker above showing the correct way to take a dump. This dalek was curious. He attempted to use the toilet in the correct manner but only managed to crush the toilet and the unfortunate fob squatting over it instead.
The Doctor was desperate. His TARDIS had been stolen the night before by college kids at a shitty roundhouse party. His companion also had fucked off, apparently to some place called NIDA where she asked if she could get her contract for the show terminated and be replaced.
With no options left, the Doctor soon retreated to the highest level in the building, the one with the sacred doors. He was safe for now, or so he thought.
At this time, the Daleks had finished cleaning up the walkway outside, neatly depositing the remains in the bins nearby. 2 other Daleks were elsewhere. One was trying to make moves on the commonwealth ATM behind the library but his vigourous attempts were only being met by a response of "I have noticed you are with another bank. Your transaction will then incur a $2 surcharge".
"FUCKING WHORE", the Dalek said aloud.
Meanwhile, the other one had somehow wedged itself inside the back of the coffee cart nearby, thrusting furiously. The outcome was a mocha latte, not the hot chocolate he originally wanted.
After 5 minutes, the Daleks were all ready to annihilate their sworn enemy. They assembled in the middle of the library lawn, before the stargate, and proceeded to propel themselves upwards towards the Doctor's location.
The Doctor was stuck. He had no way to fight back this time. Lost in despair, he called out for anyone to help him. Anyone... A communist was nearby... Anyone? The communist walked closer... Anyone....else? The communist was right in front of him.... FOr FUCk SAke, NOT HIM!!!!!
"I can help!", said the communist.
"I don't want your fucking.... Wait... What's that behind you?", the doctor then pointed to the large device the communist was rolling along behind him.
"Oh, this? It's a laser? I stole it from lower campus when I was off the bong for a bit?”
“You stole it? Why!!”
“What do you mean, why? I always take other people’s things? I’m a communist....”
“Good, I’ll be using it then!”
The Doctor then kicked open those sacred doors on the highest level of the library, a clear drop waiting below on to the CLB courtyard. The Doctor was ready. But he needed bait. So he quickly pushed the Communist out the door, luring the Daleks to his location.
“I’m fucking ready, you floating metal dildos....” he thought.
Preparing the laser, he aimed it outside. Calm. Collected. He then shot the Daleks as they appeared before him, sending each one of those robot cunts back to the time vortex. An hour later, he was finished.
It was 4:30pm. The Doctor was hungry. Escaping the battlefield, he pushed his new laser to the Quad foodcourt.
And bought some left-over sushi.
The reaction was predictable. He soon got the runs and ran for the toilet.
“The TARDIS!” the doctor screamed!
That’s right. Somehow, the Tardis had been converted into one of the cubicles so he ran towards it, opened the doors, threw out the gay couple inside and left.
To USYD.
Whereupon, he burnt up that shithole and nearby Redfern to shreds.
The end
The doctor deliberately fucked up the library lifts with his sonic screwdriver, forcing the Daleks to attempt to use the stairs. Unfortunately, they couldn't fit through any of the doorways off the stairway so this plan didn't work. They also realised that blasting a hole through the ceiling wouldn't help either unless they wanted the library's shitty foundation crashing over their shiny, metallic heads.
With no other options left, they exited the building on ground level, shouting "EXTERMINATE" at and blasting any dirty socialists who were promoting outside. A few Daleks stayed inside the library. One tried using the toilets and noticed a sticker above showing the correct way to take a dump. This dalek was curious. He attempted to use the toilet in the correct manner but only managed to crush the toilet and the unfortunate fob squatting over it instead.
The Doctor was desperate. His TARDIS had been stolen the night before by college kids at a shitty roundhouse party. His companion also had fucked off, apparently to some place called NIDA where she asked if she could get her contract for the show terminated and be replaced.
With no options left, the Doctor soon retreated to the highest level in the building, the one with the sacred doors. He was safe for now, or so he thought.
At this time, the Daleks had finished cleaning up the walkway outside, neatly depositing the remains in the bins nearby. 2 other Daleks were elsewhere. One was trying to make moves on the commonwealth ATM behind the library but his vigourous attempts were only being met by a response of "I have noticed you are with another bank. Your transaction will then incur a $2 surcharge".
"FUCKING WHORE", the Dalek said aloud.
Meanwhile, the other one had somehow wedged itself inside the back of the coffee cart nearby, thrusting furiously. The outcome was a mocha latte, not the hot chocolate he originally wanted.
After 5 minutes, the Daleks were all ready to annihilate their sworn enemy. They assembled in the middle of the library lawn, before the stargate, and proceeded to propel themselves upwards towards the Doctor's location.
The Doctor was stuck. He had no way to fight back this time. Lost in despair, he called out for anyone to help him. Anyone... A communist was nearby... Anyone? The communist walked closer... Anyone....else? The communist was right in front of him.... FOr FUCk SAke, NOT HIM!!!!!
"I can help!", said the communist.
"I don't want your fucking.... Wait... What's that behind you?", the doctor then pointed to the large device the communist was rolling along behind him.
"Oh, this? It's a laser? I stole it from lower campus when I was off the bong for a bit?”
“You stole it? Why!!”
“What do you mean, why? I always take other people’s things? I’m a communist....”
“Good, I’ll be using it then!”
The Doctor then kicked open those sacred doors on the highest level of the library, a clear drop waiting below on to the CLB courtyard. The Doctor was ready. But he needed bait. So he quickly pushed the Communist out the door, luring the Daleks to his location.
“I’m fucking ready, you floating metal dildos....” he thought.
Preparing the laser, he aimed it outside. Calm. Collected. He then shot the Daleks as they appeared before him, sending each one of those robot cunts back to the time vortex. An hour later, he was finished.
It was 4:30pm. The Doctor was hungry. Escaping the battlefield, he pushed his new laser to the Quad foodcourt.
And bought some left-over sushi.
The reaction was predictable. He soon got the runs and ran for the toilet.
“The TARDIS!” the doctor screamed!
That’s right. Somehow, the Tardis had been converted into one of the cubicles so he ran towards it, opened the doors, threw out the gay couple inside and left.
To USYD.
Whereupon, he burnt up that shithole and nearby Redfern to shreds.
The end
missanonymous7
Secretive Member
Ahahahaha!!
doctor who and daleks at unsw. That would be awesome.
however...
doctor who and daleks at unsw. That would be awesome.
however...
You left out the part where he makes a little speech offering them a way out on another planet - and then blasts them back into the vortex when they refuse. still, would make for an interesting episode, I'm sure.
darkwolfzx
Active Member
- Joined
- Oct 25, 2006
- Messages
- 1,296
- Gender
- Undisclosed
- HSC
- N/A
I like tallkids story. Atm I'm sick of studying so I'll try and write a comparable one
December ?? 2008 0134 hrs
The stargate pulsed once, then twice, then released a surge of energy as an X-Wing fighter flew out of a place that existed a long time ago, in galaxy far far away. Closely following its tail was a tie-interceptor firing its evil green twin lasers at the fleeing craft.
A laser clipped the engine of the X-Wing, causing it to fishtail sideways until it crashed through the library entrance. In an instant the hatch popped open, and luke skywalker leapt out, lightsaber flashing. The tie interceptor came around for another attack run, lasers firing rapidly. Luke spun his saber a few times, deflecting a bolt back into the window of the fighter. The pilot, having lost visibility, crashed landed into the library lawn.
Luke stood breathing heavily in the ruined entrance of the library, waiting to see if his nemisis survived. The top of TIE fighter creaked open, billowing smoke, followed by the sound of mechanical breathing. Luke raised his saber, preparing for what came next.
Lord Vader rose like the black plague, red blade burning in the cool night air.
"I find your lack of parking skills disturbing, young skywalker. Join me, and we shall teach you the path to a full license, without needing to go through P-plates."
"I will never join the empire"
"Very well, you need a good lesson"
Vader flew towards Luke, blade pointed directly at his foe. Luke sidestepped and parried, sparks flashing from where their blades made contact.
Luke knew he couldn't hold off vader for long. He had to call for help. Raising his comlink he tried to establish a connection to uniwide. The speeds were appallingly slow, at this rate he would be mince meat by the time help came.
Suddenly the stargate pulsed one more time and Yoda popped out, cackling at the mess around him. "Very naughty both of you have been. Clean up, Yoda always has to" He was about to lift the wreckage of the X-Wing when all of a sudden a security guard and the chancellor showed up.
"Whats going on here?" asked the chancellor
"You will renovate the library" Yoda enunciates, with a wave of his hand.
The chancellors eyes glaze over as he dreamily repeats "I will renovate the library"
"And the lawn"
"And the lawn"
Chuckling to himself, Yoda proceeds to move the wreckages of the Tie fighter and the X-wing.
Meanwhile Vader has Luke cornered on the last floor of the library. Using the force, Vader starts throwing stuff at Luke. A catalog breaks free of its cabling and misses Luke, smashing the door to nowhere open. Luke loses his balance for a moment, allowing Vader slice his lightsaber in half, pushing Luke over the edge.
"Luke, learn to pilot with me. Together we can beat the emperor, who uses hax anyway, and overthrow him."
"Never!"
"Luke, listen to me, I am your father"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
Dismayed, Luke loses his grip on the edge, and begins his freefall toward the commerce courtyard. Before he becomes a corpse to be autopsied by eager med students, Yoda slows his decent, and lands him safely on the ground. Irate, Yoda drags Skywalker back into the stargate. Vader curses and swiftly makes his back back through the stargate in pursuit. The stargate sputters one more time, then goes quiet.
The next day, students walked past the library wondering why the uni decided to dig up the lawn and renovate the library.
probably the lamest story but meh
December ?? 2008 0134 hrs
The stargate pulsed once, then twice, then released a surge of energy as an X-Wing fighter flew out of a place that existed a long time ago, in galaxy far far away. Closely following its tail was a tie-interceptor firing its evil green twin lasers at the fleeing craft.
A laser clipped the engine of the X-Wing, causing it to fishtail sideways until it crashed through the library entrance. In an instant the hatch popped open, and luke skywalker leapt out, lightsaber flashing. The tie interceptor came around for another attack run, lasers firing rapidly. Luke spun his saber a few times, deflecting a bolt back into the window of the fighter. The pilot, having lost visibility, crashed landed into the library lawn.
Luke stood breathing heavily in the ruined entrance of the library, waiting to see if his nemisis survived. The top of TIE fighter creaked open, billowing smoke, followed by the sound of mechanical breathing. Luke raised his saber, preparing for what came next.
Lord Vader rose like the black plague, red blade burning in the cool night air.
"I find your lack of parking skills disturbing, young skywalker. Join me, and we shall teach you the path to a full license, without needing to go through P-plates."
"I will never join the empire"
"Very well, you need a good lesson"
Vader flew towards Luke, blade pointed directly at his foe. Luke sidestepped and parried, sparks flashing from where their blades made contact.
Luke knew he couldn't hold off vader for long. He had to call for help. Raising his comlink he tried to establish a connection to uniwide. The speeds were appallingly slow, at this rate he would be mince meat by the time help came.
Suddenly the stargate pulsed one more time and Yoda popped out, cackling at the mess around him. "Very naughty both of you have been. Clean up, Yoda always has to" He was about to lift the wreckage of the X-Wing when all of a sudden a security guard and the chancellor showed up.
"Whats going on here?" asked the chancellor
"You will renovate the library" Yoda enunciates, with a wave of his hand.
The chancellors eyes glaze over as he dreamily repeats "I will renovate the library"
"And the lawn"
"And the lawn"
Chuckling to himself, Yoda proceeds to move the wreckages of the Tie fighter and the X-wing.
Meanwhile Vader has Luke cornered on the last floor of the library. Using the force, Vader starts throwing stuff at Luke. A catalog breaks free of its cabling and misses Luke, smashing the door to nowhere open. Luke loses his balance for a moment, allowing Vader slice his lightsaber in half, pushing Luke over the edge.
"Luke, learn to pilot with me. Together we can beat the emperor, who uses hax anyway, and overthrow him."
"Never!"
"Luke, listen to me, I am your father"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
Dismayed, Luke loses his grip on the edge, and begins his freefall toward the commerce courtyard. Before he becomes a corpse to be autopsied by eager med students, Yoda slows his decent, and lands him safely on the ground. Irate, Yoda drags Skywalker back into the stargate. Vader curses and swiftly makes his back back through the stargate in pursuit. The stargate sputters one more time, then goes quiet.
The next day, students walked past the library wondering why the uni decided to dig up the lawn and renovate the library.
probably the lamest story but meh
partygal92
New Member
tl;dr, someone summarize tallkid and darkwolf's posts?
darkwolfzx
Active Member
- Joined
- Oct 25, 2006
- Messages
- 1,296
- Gender
- Undisclosed
- HSC
- N/A
they're called works of fiction. Ever sat down and read a book?
TehAzner
Member
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2009
- Messages
- 777
- Gender
- Male
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I lol'd. Great story Hansel.I like tallkids story. Atm I'm sick of studying so I'll try and write a comparable one
December ?? 2008 0134 hrs
The stargate pulsed once, then twice, then released a surge of energy as an X-Wing fighter flew out of a place that existed a long time ago, in galaxy far far away. Closely following its tail was a tie-interceptor firing its evil green twin lasers at the fleeing craft.
A laser clipped the engine of the X-Wing, causing it to fishtail sideways until it crashed through the library entrance. In an instant the hatch popped open, and luke skywalker leapt out, lightsaber flashing. The tie interceptor came around for another attack run, lasers firing rapidly. Luke spun his saber a few times, deflecting a bolt back into the window of the fighter. The pilot, having lost visibility, crashed landed into the library lawn.
Luke stood breathing heavily in the ruined entrance of the library, waiting to see if his nemisis survived. The top of TIE fighter creaked open, billowing smoke, followed by the sound of mechanical breathing. Luke raised his saber, preparing for what came next.
Lord Vader rose like the black plague, red blade burning in the cool night air.
"I find your lack of parking skills disturbing, young skywalker. Join me, and we shall teach you the path to a full license, without needing to go through P-plates."
"I will never join the empire"
"Very well, you need a good lesson"
Vader flew towards Luke, blade pointed directly at his foe. Luke sidestepped and parried, sparks flashing from where their blades made contact.
Luke knew he couldn't hold off vader for long. He had to call for help. Raising his comlink he tried to establish a connection to uniwide. The speeds were appallingly slow, at this rate he would be mince meat by the time help came.
Suddenly the stargate pulsed one more time and Yoda popped out, cackling at the mess around him. "Very naughty both of you have been. Clean up, Yoda always has to" He was about to lift the wreckage of the X-Wing when all of a sudden a security guard and the chancellor showed up.
"Whats going on here?" asked the chancellor
"You will renovate the library" Yoda enunciates, with a wave of his hand.
The chancellors eyes glaze over as he dreamily repeats "I will renovate the library"
"And the lawn"
"And the lawn"
Chuckling to himself, Yoda proceeds to move the wreckages of the Tie fighter and the X-wing.
Meanwhile Vader has Luke cornered on the last floor of the library. Using the force, Vader starts throwing stuff at Luke. A catalog breaks free of its cabling and misses Luke, smashing the door to nowhere open. Luke loses his balance for a moment, allowing Vader slice his lightsaber in half, pushing Luke over the edge.
"Luke, learn to pilot with me. Together we can beat the emperor, who uses hax anyway, and overthrow him."
"Never!"
"Luke, listen to me, I am your father"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
Dismayed, Luke loses his grip on the edge, and begins his freefall toward the commerce courtyard. Before he becomes a corpse to be autopsied by eager med students, Yoda slows his decent, and lands him safely on the ground. Irate, Yoda drags Skywalker back into the stargate. Vader curses and swiftly makes his back back through the stargate in pursuit. The stargate sputters one more time, then goes quiet.
The next day, students walked past the library wondering why the uni decided to dig up the lawn and renovate the library.
probably the lamest story but meh
Uncle
Banned
Omium and Omie Jay are the same person.
