A tip, ANALYSE with TECHNIQUES and HOW its done, not retell the story, "oh and this thing happened, and then these two left...."
So you should say, "That event gives the reader an inside view on the simplistic view of the pair, who leave becuase of their uncertainty with what will happen next."
AND QUOTE TO PROVE YOUR ARGUEMENT!!!!! Don't just say say what i just said above, take it to the next level by encompasing all of those things i have said.
"That event gives the reader an inside view on the simplistic view of the pair "stay here or go?", who leave becuase of their uncertainty with what will happen next "jack might come, and who knows what wil happen." The use of "who knows" gives the uncertainty, worried tone in their voice, with the question they ask themselves before "stay here or go?" displays this is uncertainty and how anxious they are with the descion they will make."
Use the SEXY system for your paragprahs
S- Statement, say what your going to argue
E- Explain, what you are trying to say
X- example, prove you arguement, (how is it used.)
Y- Why, why is it used and how is it used to give the.....
Hope this helps abit.