What we can decipher from what you have told us:
1) He does attempt to improve his physical appearance this might be the cause of his apparent lack of self-esteem issues with being 30 and alone. This also could be amplified by having a close family so this eliminates the loneliness accompanied with not having a partner.
So either;
a) He is trying to impress somebody so he improves his physical appearance.
b) He has a lot of self confidence and a close family so he doesn't appear to care about being single. But still attempts to improve on himself.
c) He has placed a barrier there to prevent you from knowing his intentions.
Now again analysing those different possibilities from what we can decipher.
a) He is not interested in you.
b) He does not need a relationship. He probably resorts to pornography and will only ever be apart of a relationship if it is convenient. Which would be best for you.
c) He has an ongoing relationship or relationships he doesn't want you to know about. This option leaves the possibility of him being homosexual open.
2) He expresses typically feminine traits such as speaking with a female tone. This is where your intuition becomes important because that either shows an underlying predisposition to femininity or it is a guise used to deceive people. It is rare that it is the second instance but it is also a possibility. This would explain an abnormal interest in fashion, designer labels, and other such.
so either;
a) Expanding on the first option he is not interested in you because you do not meet his unrealistic ideas of what he would like to see in a woman. That could be because you are either too young, too old, or not attractive enough.
b) He has developed an interest and understanding of the female psyche due to a large network of family and friends. He probably has a sister or a friend who happens to be a female who takes interest in these things. Possibly even has developed mental techniques to appear less threatening and more inviting to randoms and people he is attempting to impress. Again this becomes more and more unrealistic as we expand on this possibility.
c) He is acting in a way which seems most natural to him. He might genuinely be shutting you out or be confused himself as to what he feels or more over would rather not let you know about a secret love life or affairs. He might have a boyfriend, or be asexual, or even a more bizzare and interesting lifestyle which he keeps underground in order to protect himself from judgement.
Now to reach a conclusion.
a) He has standards you can not meet so he does not exhibit interest in you. There is nothing you can do. (quite likely) 25%
b) He has no need for a relationship but would enter one if it became convenient. (more likely) 60%
c) He is putting up defensive barriers to appear a certain way to hide a lifestyle of which he believes you would not approve. (not very likely) 15%
In conclusion the likeliness of him being homosexual is actually pretty slim. It is statistically sound to make your intentions clear as you have a sporting chance to be successful.