Firstly, I'm only coming to this thread just now and I can't be bothered to read 11 pages of bickering so I am going to simply write what I think about the original questions and maybe preempt a few objections. I apologise if I end up repeating what other people have said.
To begin, I'll deal with the apparent response to the question "Why does god send non-believers to hell and have them tortured for eternity?" What the Christian should have started with is tackling this particular view of hell. The biblical view of hell is not torture in the way this person is thinking, though it is in my opinion worse. Biblical hell is foremostly separation from God. From this and the belief that God is the source of good comes the conclusion that hell is bad. Really bad. There is quite literally nothing good about hell or in hell. Now what the Christian should have pointed out, rather than some strange thing about hell being the true wish of non-believers, is that God is firstly just then merciful (You can't be merciful until there is justice. Since we are talking about the God who created and thus defined the universe, it only makes sense that God should by just first and then merciful). When you reject God by rights you reject all that is good. This is when the mercy kicks in. God has given you every chance to repent and to be forgiven, and assuming you haven't died since you posted, that chance still stands. However if you reject the mercy when you have already rejected God, why should God do anything but separate himself from you. i.e. Remove all good from you. i.e. Send you to hell.
OK
Now that I've dealt with the framework of the question its time to preempt some of those problems. People, I imagine, are going to have some issues with "rights". What I mean is they are going to say I have a right to [insert sin here]. Part of Christianity is admitting that you do not know what is best and trusting that the Lord does. He is after all the source of all things right. That is the only truthful answer to that objection that I can think of.
Another objection is going to be of the form: "What about [insert type of person here] Will they really go to hell?" There are two cases here. The first is when that person has been exposed to Christianity and has rejected it. I think I have already been quite clear about what happens from then on. The other case is if someone has not been exposed to Christianity. My answer is that strictly speaking I don't know. What I do know is that God is just and God is merciful. I also know that God knows what they would have done. Incidentally this is one of the many reasons why evangelism is so important too many Christians.
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Moving on to the question:"Why do I have to have an afterlife?" The simplest answer is that is the way things are. That's not particularly helpful so let me explain. If you accept, as Christians do, that God created humankind, and specifically that he created them as the pinnacle of creation, it is much clearer. You see, the one thing that all humans have that your budgie and your dog do not have is the soul. This is why humans have an afterlife. It is the soul that lives on but there is a new body, just as there is a new creation. I know you said not to say "because you are made in his image" but this is essentially the biblical answer. I think your objection to it has been that it is in a sort of religious jargon. I hope my explanation makes more sense.
Now I think the next objection is going to be something along the lines of "I God is so loving/merciful, why can't he [insert anything here]" Firstly its not that God can't do it, it is that he won't do it. As I have said God is just and it is against his character to go against that. (I am not claiming to understand God's mind or anything like that, I am merely looking at the way He is presented in the bible) For example:
"If God is so merciful/loving why won't he end suffering?"
Answer: God is actually so merciful that he has ended suffering. All you have to do is accept his forgiveness and repent from your wrongdoing.
Objection: Why do Christians suffer too?
Answer: Christians sin too. We are part of the same sinful world and come under the same curse of original sin, but the shortness of this suffering is meaningless in comparison with an eternity of salvation.
Objection: If God is just how is it that he can be so merciful as to provide salvation?
Answer: It is possible because Jesus took the sin of the world (past future and present) upon himself and acted as a sacrifice. So God's just nature is satisfied.
Objection: But why is it possible for one man to atone for all mankind?
Answer: Because that one man was entirely God as well.
Objection: How can someone be both man and God?
Answer: Because those things aren't mutually exclusive. A square is entirely a rectangle and entirely a rhombus even though a rectangle is not a rhombus. Its the same thing.
I think I've more than answered the questions that were specifically answered as well as some others that weren't but knowing the nature of the internet there are probably people who have some other questions too. Email me if you are curious. My email is
j.alteclansing.t@gmail.com
Oh and as to whether or not I respect theologians as academics, I do. They are often highly intelligent and insightful. The thing that seems to be the problem for you is that you don't recognise the validity of literary study as an academic pursuit - for if you don't recognise the bible as historical or as at least having historical relevance or as philosophical or as fundamentally important to life itself (and I expect that you don't to at least some of those) - surely you must think it is a work of literature. But there are academics who are devoted to the study of literature, as well as to the study of history and philosophy. Just because Mr. Dawkins thinks science is the only discipline that matters doesn't mean that it is true.