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What would you tell your parents? (2 Viewers)

scarybunny

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Parents who lecture are the worst. Especially since kids never do what the parents lecture them about.

Parents need to let their kids live their own lives and make their own mistakes.
 

klaris

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Parents who lecture are the worst. Especially since kids never do what the parents lecture them about.

Parents need to let their kids live their own lives and make their own mistakes.
I agree.

They pretty much lecture me on everything. I know I should probably just wait it out and see what happens but I don't have the patience for that.

Sometimes, out of spite, I do something just to piss them off because I get so angry at them for not trusting me in the first place. When I started doing this my reasoning was "well they don't trust me now, so what is the point" and I know it is a horrible way to severe a relationship between my parents but I can't really stand to talk to them excessively because they criticize so much, needlessly.

Now, I doubt they trust me AT ALL. I know they disapprove of they way I prefer to live, or the hour I sleep to or how I study but they only seem to comment to criticize, not to praise or even just say "oh, what do you think you might do" or speak to me remotely like I am capable of making my own decisions.
 

scarybunny

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That happens to so many people. They just end up with the feeling that their parents don't trust them, so they shut them off. OR they do what their parents want and live miserably anyway.

I've never gotten that from my parents, so I have a good relationship with them. I know they trust me so I'm not scared to tell them where my life is going.
 

klaris

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You're lucky, scarybunny.

Most of the time I feel like such a bit towards them but I (used to be) such an amazing kid, I would never ever misbehave and would never backchat, go behind their back etc. I immediately assumed because I was being such a good kid, they would naturally trust me and loosen the reigns a little as I got older.

But they didn't and I resent them for it. So yeah.

/end rant.
 

moll.

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You people all just need to learn to lighten up and shrug it off.

Who cares if they put unreasonable restrictions on you? Just ignore them and do what you want. What are they going to do, ground you? If they're pitiful enough to try, just ignore them again. They'll get the point eventually.

As for all of you complaining about the lectures, just say "OK" or "yeah, I know" whenever they stop to breathe and keep watching the tv while they talk.

Honestly though, the best way for you to get your parents permenantly off your back is to get them to realise that you're their equal in emotional and intellectual maturity (and some of your parents will have quite legitimate concerns about whether this is true), and that the only thing you lack is their experience, which - despite their common beliefs otherwise - cannot be transfered but only learnt through trial and error. I proved it by discussing my sisters problems with them and by mediating all the conflict in my house. Now they trust me so much that if my parents are arguing with each other or my sister they'll come to me for advice on how to deal with it and a rant and the other person's stupidity.

At the end of the day, the vast majority of your parents only have what's good for you at the forefront of their minds, whether you agree with their means or not. But I can garuantee that almost any of them will realise that having a good relationship with a child whose decisions they don't approve of is better than having no relationship with the child at all.
 

johnny1235

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@moll I doubt you'll be saying that if you have children of your own

p.s. To answer the thread, i'd tell my parents everything. They're the most caring people on earth, and even when they lecture me, i still understand its for my own good (although, like everyone, its annoying).
 
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moll.

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@moll I doubt you'll be saying that if you have children of your own

p.s. To answer the thread, i'd tell my parents everything. They're the most caring people on earth, and even when they lecture me, i still understand its for my own good (although, like everyone, its annoying).
No, I probably wouldn't be. When/If I have kids, I'll probably end up in a similar situation as my folks. But just cos your outlook changes doesn't mean that either the starting or final outlook are wrong.
 

4theHSC

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You guys should realise that your parents would want whats best for you.
 

Ryuuji

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I won't tell them anything.
Cuz they don't know anything.
 

Makro

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You guys should realise that your parents would want whats best for you.
That's fine and dandy until they start misinterpreting every life event of your's. Thinking I'll get raped if I go past the mailbox after 6pm and not letting me go out is what they think is best, but will kill me socially and psychologically just because they're misinformed. Now multiply this by a plethora of different and stupid scenarios and you'll find yourself with some asian parents that think the world is most definitely out to get their kids and only their kids.
 

kathrinn

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If they ask me, ill tell them.
Otherwise, they figure it out. It not like Ill go home and announce shit to them, but i have no problem telling them if they ask.

Within reason..
 

SSRabbitohs2009

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Last night, family dinner for the first time in 2weeks +
They asked, so I told.
At the time, I was "Leave me the frak alone" but now I'm thinking that they know all they need to know. It better be...
 

Makro

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Last night, family dinner for the first time in 2weeks +
They asked, so I told.
At the time, I was "Leave me the frak alone" but now I'm thinking that they know all they need to know. It better be...
What'd you tell them? Or is this a new step in your life where you didn't shun them?
 

Born Dancer

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Honestly though, the best way for you to get your parents permenantly off your back is to get them to realise that you're their equal in emotional and intellectual maturity (and some of your parents will have quite legitimate concerns about whether this is true), and that the only thing you lack is their experience, which - despite their common beliefs otherwise - cannot be transfered but only learnt through trial and error. I proved it by discussing my sisters problems with them and by mediating all the conflict in my house. Now they trust me so much that if my parents are arguing with each other or my sister they'll come to me for advice on how to deal with it and a rant and the other person's stupidity.

At the end of the day, the vast majority of your parents only have what's good for you at the forefront of their minds, whether you agree with their means or not. But I can garuantee that almost any of them will realise that having a good relationship with a child whose decisions they don't approve of is better than having no relationship with the child at all.

Actually, I am prepared to believe that most people do not change, especially when they have no cause to believe that what they are doing is wrong. I have been out of home for 2 years, am almost finished a 5 year double degree at uni, have a stable part time job and have been in a steady relationship for almost 4 years. I am more emotionally stable than my mother and more intelligent than both my parents and have tried to demonstrate this in non-offensive, openly polite ways.

I am not convinced that a parent can have a "good relationship" with a child whose decisions they don't approve of. My mother will take any opportunity she can to undermine my boyfriend, and regularly tries to separate my sister and i to the point of where she has ridiculed my sister for spending time with me. My dad says that my house is not user friendly, and uses that as an excuse for not visiting me. It's not like we don't have a relationship at all, I do spend time with them and there are incredibly brief moments where we both have a good time, but i do it mostly to appease the fact that they are my parents and will always be in my life.

it is by no means what i would call a good relationship
 

klaris

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Actually, I am prepared to believe that most people do not change, especially when they have no cause to believe that what they are doing is wrong. I have been out of home for 2 years, am almost finished a 5 year double degree at uni, have a stable part time job and have been in a steady relationship for almost 4 years. I am more emotionally stable than my mother and more intelligent than both my parents and have tried to demonstrate this in non-offensive, openly polite ways.

I am not convinced that a parent can have a "good relationship" with a child whose decisions they don't approve of. My mother will take any opportunity she can to undermine my boyfriend, and regularly tries to separate my sister and i to the point of where she has ridiculed my sister for spending time with me. My dad says that my house is not user friendly, and uses that as an excuse for not visiting me. It's not like we don't have a relationship at all, I do spend time with them and there are incredibly brief moments where we both have a good time, but i do it mostly to appease the fact that they are my parents and will always be in my life.

it is by no means what i would call a good relationship

That's no good :(

I am afraid that is what it will end up with my parents. They generally disapprove of what I enjoy doing (e.g. going out with friends, reading etc) and it's not like I am at the back of some alley smoking weed or doing drugs.

They don't trust me and they don't care about my future. When I told they about my interest in perhaps studying law, their only reaction was "you couldn't study law" as if I am a complete idiot. They never tell me they are *proud* of me or give me any praise. When I told them I had dreams of travelling and working I only got a lecture on the dangers of travelling overseas and how I need to be "worldy".

I pay for everything I need. When I go to the doctor's I pay for that, when I need lunch I pay for that. When I go out, I pay. I never ever ask them for money or anything material anymore since receiving my own money. I don't pay board but I shouldn't have to -- I would only be chipping in for food anyway.

Even though I pay for everything I want/need and I babysit and do well in school, never misbehave, they don't trust me. I think they (my mother especially) have trouble letting go and realising I am sixteen now, not twelve and don't need them as much.

As a result I no longer tell them anything. Not to do with my friends, or how I am feeling, my school results, my day. Nothing. I feel like they don't deserve to know and the only conversation we have these days is if I can clean the house or what kind of food I want to eat during the week.

I would like things to get better, but I am not willing to change the way I choose to live, my future for that. I NEED them to come to me, as I have already tried going to them. I would love a good relationship with them.

/end rant.
 

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