Chevalier
FutureGazer
Hey all, now I would wholeheartedly agree with the majority who believe that IRL university is truly the fertile hunting ground it is made out to be, insofar as love and relationships go, but my problem is that I fear I may be completely unmoved by those emotions that so dominate an individual's need for companionship, intimacy and sensual gratification, like an anaesthetised patient lying on a cold, sterile operating table. Simply put, I find myself incapable of feeling love or attraction, or even lust and longing for any girl. Weird or not? I see alot of gorgeous girls at uni and some of my friends are pretty sociable, yet I feel nothing on the inside. I may as well be an unfeeling, calculating machine made of flesh. And my heart is merely just a bodily organ of extreme importance, performing a function essential for life, not where my feelings originate from.
I will however confess that the closest I've ever got was thinking that a girl I knew in the past was be a nice person, and I thought it would have been good just to get to know a little bit more about, until I finally realised that inviting her out to multiple study sessions at the library was bordering on creepy and predatory. But then I just forgot about it like nothing happened and moved on. That was a yr and a half ago. And nothing's happened since then, and my ambivalent stance towards ppl and girls in particular is the one constant. So if I really did like her in the way that it produced an unprecedented reaction in me then why have I been able to move on so easily?
Am I upset? Not one bit. Am I ranting? No. Or just confused? A tentative yes. But is my current predicament normal or abnormal?
I will however confess that the closest I've ever got was thinking that a girl I knew in the past was be a nice person, and I thought it would have been good just to get to know a little bit more about, until I finally realised that inviting her out to multiple study sessions at the library was bordering on creepy and predatory. But then I just forgot about it like nothing happened and moved on. That was a yr and a half ago. And nothing's happened since then, and my ambivalent stance towards ppl and girls in particular is the one constant. So if I really did like her in the way that it produced an unprecedented reaction in me then why have I been able to move on so easily?
Am I upset? Not one bit. Am I ranting? No. Or just confused? A tentative yes. But is my current predicament normal or abnormal?
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