o.k. This is how it goes. You get an orangutan. I'm not talking a little monkey or some some dancing chimp bullshit, i mean a fucking orangutan. Don't ask me how you're gonna get a fucking orangutan, that's not my problem. So the orangutan's name is clyde. This is non-negotiable, all orangutans are named clyde. I don't know why that is, it's just how the world works. So you and clyde become woman (and ape) about town. You're seen everywhere together, you make the scene. You and friends go out in big groups. You talk loud, you laugh louder. Every time you say something witty you high-five the orangutan. The town begins to buzz. It gets back to him. "did you know the girl with the orangutan?", "you used to date the girl with the orangutan?", "why would you break up with a girl with an orangutan?"
next thing you know he's calling. "i'm hoping we can still be friends. Wanna hang out sometime." "geez i dunno, me and clyde were going to go to a monster truck race tonight. (orangutans love monster trucks) in fact the whole social calendar seems kinda full. I tell you what, i'll make a little note (what was your name again?) and maybe i can squeeze you in." "oh, well you know my number so don't be a stra-" "hey look at the time! I gotta skate, clyde's making mojitos'."
at this point the upper hand is yours. You can let him twist in the wind, you can draw him back into your life at the pace you decide. Whatever, it's your life. But if you're a smart woman? You slowly phase him back in. You're im'ng. You're talking on live. You get invited to family functions. You bring clyde, he becomes like one of the family. You're one big brady bunch.
Obligatory.