• YOU can help the next generation of students in the community!
    Share your trial papers and notes on our Notes & Resources page

Please critique King Lear essay! (2 Viewers)

hayabusaboston

Well-Known Member
Joined
Sep 26, 2011
Messages
2,387
Location
Calabi Yau Manifold
Gender
Male
HSC
2013
thanks guys for your help, i really appreciate brutal honesty, i hate people who try to be nice. Heres a redo, fire any more comments if you have them plz :)


Leadership, in essence, is a conceptual framework of understanding ascribed to the underlying notion of successful guidance of a group by one or more individuals. Socially speaking, the whole idea relies on and is fundamentally intertwined with successful relationships between a leader and his people. Thus derived is a suitable thesis, successful leadership comes down to an ability to maintain social aptness, avoid hegemony, and have determination to fulfil tasks for the benefit of the group. This framework of ideas is explored in varying intricacies in Shakespeare’s “King Lear” as well as J. R. Tolkien’s “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy.


A starting point of analysis one may consider is given in the character of Edmund, the bastard son of the Earl of Gloucester in “King Lear”. Edmund is outlined to us as a character who holds a high antipathy for society, for renouncing him over his brother Edgar, who stands to inherit the wealth of their father Gloucester, All due to Edmund’s bastard status. As he describes, “Thou nature art my goddess; to thy law my services are bound…Now gods, stand up for bastards!”, one is given the implication of a starting campaign of Edmund’s, in his quest for recognition against his censure by society.


He possesses an adamant approach to fulfilment of tasks, getting on with the job. After his harangue describing his feelings, he prepares to start collecting a portfolio of situations and social networks which serve to assist his own personal needs. Eventually, Edmund “receives” a letter from Edgar. His father eventually reads the letter, and is shocked by the contents. Edmund craftily created a scenario for the first follower to fall into his trap of sweet talk. As he then describes, “A credulous father and a brother noble, whose nature is so far from doing harms. That he suspects none …” one can see an almost virile tone of authority expressed in his speech.


Edmund’s meeting with Edgar, after Gloucester has read the letter, is another thematically driven situation. He tells Edgar to remain armed at all times.“Pray ye, go, there’s my key. If you do stir abroad, go armed”. Edgar is instructed by the obsequious disposition of Edmund to leave to Edmunds lodging. The servile nature of a treacherous leader id presented clearly, an we can see that it is successful in initiating a complex scenario of tension, which is ultimately subject to his manipulation.


On a similar tone yet radically different angle, Frodo from The Lord Of the Rings, employs a variety of techniques to acquire efficient leadership. He is described as a jovial little fellow, a hobbit who comes to be in possession of the one ring, the ruling ring of Middle Earth.Frodo, as a small hobbit, takes on intense cupidity, psychological, physical and emotional barriers, often with the caustic admonition of others tearing at his willpower. And these barriers are brought down with the simple innocent authority of the powerful entity beheld in Frodo. His circumstances as well as situational acumen give a submissive message to the characters he interacts with, with the key relationships in Gollum and Sam strengthening the efficiency of his endeavours.


Purely relating to the second postulate, the tale elapses with a progressive dwindling of Company members, this is symbolic in its representation of the greater independence required of the leader, in the changing situations his group faces.
After escaping Boromir’s accost in the forest, Frodo accepts a decision on Sam’s part to remain with him for the rest of his journey, this instills a greater subconscious sense of success, therein giving Frodo mental support. The rapport with Sam promotes the ideals of a friendship through leadership.
After the acquaintance with Gollum, from an altercation that ensues with regard to Frodo wanting “To help him” (Gollum), the conversation allows the reader to sympathise with Gollum, and suggests to us the caring nature of Frodo is imminent in his desire to help Gollum. After a brief aspersion to Sam’s comments on assisting him with the Ring, he also says “It’s my task! My own!” Thus he accomplishes the two conditions of the derived thesis, and in a very short period of time as well. He shows an ability to cope with the exigency of his task, and still manages to form a sympathetic relationship with Gollum, as well as a mostly sympathetic, but fluctuating one with Sam. This is an interesting case, where a small character by stature is shown to have the greatest power and influence, a unique countering to the common notion perceived by society, that a large stature and reputation is required to successfully lead a group of individuals.


In summation, the texts “King Lear” and “The Lord of the Rings” give not only a practical application of the leadership framework but a thematically new branch to explore and analyse. Overall, in Edmund’s context, the calumnious twist on the leadership framework in Edmund’s quests describes to us a unique take on what the real intentions of a leader can be. On the same note, Frodo, in the Lord of the Rings, endures a whole series of obstacles with the overarching kindness and sympathy of a great leader, yet firm in his desire to fulfil tasks.
 

hayabusaboston

Well-Known Member
Joined
Sep 26, 2011
Messages
2,387
Location
Calabi Yau Manifold
Gender
Male
HSC
2013
Lol IQ guy gets torn when it comes to school work
hah my iqs not that high anyway, 145, but thats besides the point. i suck at english lol i have a maths oriented brain, and thats why i answer essays mathematically, though through words. i am forcing myself to fix it, you guys are a great help, thanks :) the thing is, too, i actually dont know any techniques... i can only describe what i notice, i completely forget all the actual names for techniques themselves. are there any, anyway? I thought all the techniques stuff comes from poetry..o_O
 

jnney

lemon
Joined
Mar 3, 2011
Messages
1,437
Gender
Female
HSC
2012
hah my iqs not that high anyway, 145, but thats besides the point. i suck at english lol i have a maths oriented brain, and thats why i answer essays mathematically, though through words. i am forcing myself to fix it, you guys are a great help, thanks :) the thing is, too, i actually dont know any techniques... i can only describe what i notice, i completely forget all the actual names for techniques themselves. are there any, anyway? I thought all the techniques stuff comes from poetry..o_O
no no, there are techniques in all texts.

google 'literary techniques'

actually, you should probably also refer to some of the resources on this site, they may be helpful.
 
Joined
Oct 29, 2011
Messages
872
Location
Narnia
Gender
Female
HSC
2013
sounds like I'm reading an Op-ed of someone who is trying to hard to prove how much SAT words they know.
 

Absolutezero

real human bean
Joined
Nov 17, 2007
Messages
15,077
Gender
Male
HSC
N/A
are there any, anyway? I thought all the techniques stuff comes from poetry..o_O
Ahahahahahahahaha... no but seriously...

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Take a look here for a list:

http://community.boredofstudies.org/showthread.php?t=172486&p=3600056&viewfull=1#post3600056

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Literary_technique

There's better sources out there, with even more techniques you can apply. Every text has techniques, and they differ depending on the text type. For example, film uses different techniques to haiku; short story to speech etc.
 

hayabusaboston

Well-Known Member
Joined
Sep 26, 2011
Messages
2,387
Location
Calabi Yau Manifold
Gender
Male
HSC
2013
ahhh this is soo.....infuriating. the structure required in hsc and prelim essays. you guys are right, english might be the death of me in the hsc... might ruin a potential 99.95....omg no. must work on it. okay added techniques here, what else must i fix up?


Leadership, in essence, is a conceptual framework of understanding ascribed to the underlying notion of successful guidance of a group by one or more individuals. Socially speaking, the whole idea relies on and is fundamentally intertwined with successful relationships between a leader and his people. Thus derived is a suitable thesis, successful leadership comes down to an ability to maintain social aptness, avoid hegemony, and have determination to fulfil tasks for the benefit of the group. This framework of ideas is explored in varying intricacies in Shakespeare’s “King Lear” as well as J. R. Tolkien’s “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy.
A starting point of analysis one may consider is given in the character of Edmund, the bastard son of the Earl of Gloucester in “King Lear”. Edmund is outlined to us as a character who holds a high antipathy for society, for renouncing him over his brother Edgar, who stands to inherit the wealth of their father Gloucester, All due to Edmund’s bastard status. As he describes, “Thou nature art my goddess; to thy law my services are bound…Now gods, stand up for bastards!”, one is given the implication of a starting campaign of Edmund’s, in his quest for recognition against his censure by society. The asyndeta in his soliloquy develop one’s appreciation of his incredible determination to lead, as well as present powerful imagery of the characters cerebral strength in general.
He possesses an adamant approach to fulfilment of tasks. After his harangue describing his feelings, he prepares to start collecting a portfolio of situations and social networks which serve to assist his own personal needs. Eventually, Edmund “receives” a letter from Edgar. His father eventually reads the letter, and is shocked by the contents. Edmund thus had craftily created a scenario for the first follower to fall into his trap. As he then describes, “A credulous father and a brother noble, whose nature is so far from doing harms. That he suspects none …” one can see an almost virile tone of authority expressed in his speech, an irony to the sneaky, evasive nature of the real Edmund.
Edmund’s meeting with Edgar, after Gloucester has read the letter, is another thematically driven situation. He tells Edgar to remain armed at all times. “Pray ye, go, there’s my key. If you do stir abroad, go armed”. Edgar is instructed by the obsequious disposition of Edmund to leave to Edmunds lodging. The servile nature of a treacherous leader id presented clearly, an we can see that it is successful in initiating a complex scenario of tension, which is ultimately subject to his manipulation.
On a similar tone yet radically different angle, Frodo from The Lord Of the Rings, employs a variety of techniques to acquire efficient leadership. He is described as a jovial little fellow, a hobbit who comes to be in possession of the one ring, the ruling ring of Middle Earth.Frodo, as a small hobbit, takes on intense cupidity, psychological, physical and emotional barriers, often with the caustic admonition of others tearing at his willpower. And these barriers are brought down with the simple innocent authority of the powerful entity beheld in Frodo. His circumstances as well as situational acumen give a submissive message to the characters he interacts with, with the key relationships in Gollum and Sam strengthening the efficiency of his endeavours.
Purely relating to the second postulate, the tale elapses with a progressive dwindling of Company members, this pathetic fallacy is symbolic in its representation of the greater independence required of the leader, in the changing situations his group faces.
After escaping Boromir’s accost in the forest, Frodo accepts a decision on Sam’s part to remain with him for the rest of his journey, this instills a greater subconscious sense of success, therein giving Frodo mental support. The rapport with Sam promotes the ideals of a friendship through leadership.
After the acquaintance with Gollum, from an altercation that ensues with regard to Frodo wanting “To help him” (Gollum), the conversation allows the reader to sympathise with Gollum, and suggests to us the caring nature of Frodo is imminent in his desire to help Gollum. After a brief aspersion to Sam’s comments on assisting him with the Ring, he also says “It’s my task! My own!” Thus he accomplishes the two conditions of the derived thesis, and in a very short period of time as well. He shows an ability to cope with the exigency of his task, and still manages to form a sympathetic relationship with Gollum, as well as a mostly sympathetic, but fluctuating one with Sam. This is an interesting case, where a small character by stature is shown to have the greatest power and influence, a unique countering to the common notion perceived by society, that a large stature and reputation is required to successfully lead a group of individuals.

In summation, the texts “King Lear” and “The Lord of the Rings” give not only a practical application of the leadership framework but a thematically new branch to explore and analyse. Overall, in Edmund’s context, the calumnious twist on the leadership framework in Edmund’s quests describes to us a unique take on what the real intentions of a leader can be, with his intrinsic hamartia in treachery becoming his downfall. On the same note, Frodo, in the Lord of the Rings, endures a whole series of obstacles with the overarching kindness and sympathy of a great leader, yet firm in his desire to fulfil tasks.



plz plz i think this is better what can i do now to further improve>
 
Joined
Oct 29, 2011
Messages
872
Location
Narnia
Gender
Female
HSC
2013
I'm in year 11, and i think it sounds good. However, try not to get to caught up in the thesaurus as you're only confusing the reader, especially since it's such a historical question you'd want to state facts and back it up with evidence. Don't forget to link back to the question, as i don't see much of that in your piece. Good luck with your endevour :) wanna critique my piece, pm me?
 

Examine

same
Joined
Dec 14, 2011
Messages
2,376
Gender
Undisclosed
HSC
2013
Relate it back to the question more in each paragraph.
 

Absolutezero

real human bean
Joined
Nov 17, 2007
Messages
15,077
Gender
Male
HSC
N/A
Microsoft Word -> Review -> Select text you want to comment on -> New Comment
 

Absolutezero

real human bean
Joined
Nov 17, 2007
Messages
15,077
Gender
Male
HSC
N/A
It's a document, so its not just text. I'll try and upload it here.
 

Users Who Are Viewing This Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 2)

Top