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Mdzabakly

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So just tell me which one sounds better or cliche...

A boy goes on holidays to his home country, when he returns he obsessively compares everything to his country ( so all he can think about I.e: "he sky was always clear in X")
a boy usually hangs out with Asians goes into high school with the same group of kids,he quickly realizes that they have changed and they aren't really his friend and he feels excluded.
a boys normal group of friends turn on him when an old friend from an old school becomes the leader of the group ( exclusion)

umm sorry for the limited spread of ideas XD, i'm in yr 11 and just wanna get ready a belonging narrative to save time in yr 12 :),if any of the story lines wouldn't be belonging related just say :)
thanks
 

deswa1

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Tbh, they're all cliche. Since you're in year 11, you have a lot of time to actually think of a FANTASTIC idea. Anything with school etc. has been done to death. Make it exciting.
 

Mdzabakly

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OK so Ive done some reading around the forum and came up with this....

Super strict Asian family, Boy goes to parent teacher meeting, all bad marks, whilst his siblings ace everything, he feels bad and his parents isolate him ( give his siblings things, leaving home when they go out, he is ignored..
a girl lives with her mother & her mothers sister children, The child is excluded, criticized and told off by the other children , eventually the sister builds a granny flat at the back of the house and this is a place where the girl " truly feels she belongs".
 

theind1996

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OK so Ive done some reading around the forum and came up with this....

Super strict Asian family, Boy goes to parent teacher meeting, all bad marks, whilst his siblings ace everything, he feels bad and his parents isolate him ( give his siblings things, leaving home when they go out, he is ignored..

a girl lives with her mother & her mothers sister children, The child is excluded, criticized and told off by the other children , eventually the sister builds a granny flat at the back of the house and this is a place where the girl " truly feels she belongs".
The first one is cliched, the second one *could* work.
 

LoveHateSchool

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Never write about school or teenage angst. It makes English teachers want to punch themselves.

All other types of angst are on the table for belonging, they love dramatic things.
 

Mdzabakly

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Nothing to do with school, relationships, teenage stuff, anything cheesy etc.

It's your story, so perhaps you could elaborate for us and we'll give you feedback.
just didnt understand, the " could" so there must have been something wrong with it XD idk ...
umm idk its just a storyline i though up in 5 secs XD
 

theind1996

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just didnt understand, the " could" so there must have been something wrong with it XD idk ...
umm idk its just a storyline i though up in 5 secs XD
Actually, tbh, with the children and all, it is clichéd.

Try to thing outside the box.
 

deswa1

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Actually, tbh, with the children and all, it is clichéd.

Try to thing outside the box.
This. Think circular narratives, think exciting, think realistic. Think something that when the marker reads it they're like "This is actually worth reading"
 

aphorae

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A boy goes on holidays to his home country, when he returns he obsessively compares everything to his country ( so all he can think about I.e: "he sky was always clear in X")
^
This is probably the best out of all. This idea could work if you think it out and manage to write it well. The rest are all notably cliched and predictable, and I can't see any potential in doing anything nice or new with them, unless you are just naturally a fantabulous writer, in which case you could get away with such storylines with amazing evocative description etc.
 

Mdzabakly

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A boy goes on holidays to his home country, when he returns he obsessively compares everything to his country ( so all he can think about I.e: "he sky was always clear in X")
^
This is probably the best out of all. This idea could work if you think it out and manage to write it well. The rest are all notably cliched and predictable, and I can't see any potential in doing anything nice or new with them, unless you are just naturally a fantabulous writer, in which case you could get away with such storylines with amazing evocative description etc.
Fanks
 

CommunityFan

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out of the box could be like what i did, a guy with an asperger's syndrome, works as limo escort and he spends time for a while in the airport

try be unique
 

Mdzabakly

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so got more ideas...
a girl is part of a all male kendo team, she is excluded and not allowed to be properly part of the team (even though being acepted by the master), the master retires and makes a comp to see who is the best fighter, and she goes into it to prove herself as part of the group.
 

CommunityFan

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so got more ideas...
a girl is part of a all male kendo team, she is excluded and not allowed to be properly part of the team (even though being acepted by the master), the master retires and makes a comp to see who is the best fighter, and she goes into it to prove herself as part of the group.
will that fit into a short story?? cos u can totally make a novel out of that :D
 

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