I can not bring myself to be a religious person.
I can not believe in Gods and Angels and Heavens and Hells. It all sounds too limiting, too convenient and too anthropomorphic.
I don't think religious people are wrong in believing in it however. What matters is that you believe in something that fulfills you and as long as they don't try to enforce their morals and beliefs on me, whatever makes them happy is just fine with me.
But I'm not ready to believe there is nothing after we die either.
It may well be true.
But its just as possible that it isn't.
Looking superficially at the world, you may be led to believe that there is no life after death. That there is no God, no Creator of any kind, for if there is one, who created him ?
But what do we really know about our existence ?
To examine that, let's ask the most basic questions:
Who. What. Why. Where. When.
Who.
Who are we?
Yes we are humans, but are we alone, are we unique in the universe, or are there others like us?
Do we die and disappear or do we live on in some way?
We have no context. Nothing to compare us to except other animals born on our planet, from which we ourselves have evolved.
Given the size and richness of the universe, that's a pretty small sample.
What.
What are we?
Yes we are living organisms of biological origin.
But we know so little. How do our bodies really work? We have advanced immensely but we still can't change them, can't stop them from getting cancer or aging. We know much less of our brains. We don't really understand how they work and we're nowhere near imitating them.
Of matter, we know its mostly empty space. We're not even allowed to look deep into it because by looking, we change it.
(BTW - I forgot to mention dark matter and dark energy which is supposed to make up 96% of the universe and which no one knows anything about!)
Why.
Why are we here?
The universe does not need us. It would get along fine without us.
So why did it generate us?
We don't serve any purpose and fulfill no apparent need.
Where.
Where are we?
The universe is big. Too big for us to understand.
Where does it end?
Even if they told us the answer; would we understand it?
We would keep asking - ok, so what's outside that?
When.
Like the Where, this is a question we can not know the answer to.
Would never be able to understand it.
When did time start?
Any possible answer would beg the question - ok, what was there before that?
So we can't even answer the Who, What, Why, Where and When of our existence.
We can see that we probably wouldn't even understand the answers.
We're playing in a game where we don't know and maybe can't know all the rules.
Given that, how can we be anything but agnostic.
Some people say its cowardice.
They say: "You are only an agnostic because you linger on to your need of a daddy and are afraid to be alone and afraid of the repercussions in case there is a God. You should be brave. Do away with God, you don't need him."
I find that so childish.. Like a schoolyard dare.
I don't need backing. I don't need a peer group.
We all die alone.
The only thing I want is the truth. A truth I can believe.
Since we've seen how much we don't know, how can we know there is no higher power ? Not even a cold and uncaring one. How can we know there's nothing after we die ?
I'm an agnostic because I haven't given up wondering.
Haven't given up thinking.
And based on what I know to be true, an agnostic is the only thing I can be.