I'm really worrying now, I didn't read the thing about belonging to community only the topic sentences. So I wrote my creative as is, however if you read there are not many relationships to community. I only state that he is lonely and unable to to communicate as he speaks out of pure necessity. I also state the girl is a local and that he and her obviously develop something. Am I doomed?
Have a read??
Falling
It was a beautiful spot, hidden well in the surroundings. I glanced around only to notice the dark trees which complemented pure white sands and the iridescent sun gleaming and reflecting off the shabby, yet gentle leaves. The rush of the wind gently tickled and sensationally soothed my skin as the sand hugged me, creating warmth and a sense of security only a mother could provide. Nervously examining the surroundings, I was enthralled and mesmerized by the natural vivid scenery. The waves crashed onto the shore, creating a rhythm similar to that of a heartbeat, and in closing one’s eyes produced an uncanny resemblance to my father’s heartbeat during the many times I have fallen asleep in his arms as a child. I always preferred silence, only speaking out of pure necessity. I gained an appreciation for what surrounded me. Nevertheless, my whole body was frail to such an unfamiliar world. I was so far, yet so close to home.
The sky was dark and the air full of seagulls sauntering in the cool zephyr. They seemed to float with such ease in bunches of many, wings spread apart and as stable as could be. Stability. Something intrinsic to home, something that embraces you. Something you take for granted. The dark sky rolled above with such pace as I was bombarded with nostalgia. Drops of water hit my face, the sky reckoning with anger. I should’ve listened. I shouldn’t have been so stubborn. The seagulls, weary and knowing of what is ahead, disperse. The waves had now become an asynchronous percussion orchestra of disaster and the sky even more apocalyptic. The warmth of the sand has long since left as I watched droplets plummet across the horizon of what was once a golden plain.
The brief sprinkling subsided. The humid sea air entered my nose, a smell so familiar back home. It was a peaceful moment, as it triggered many a memory, being the only smell which elicited such a response. I grabbed the gritty, cold sand, allowing my body to process the feeling which was so similar to that of my blanket on a cold winter’s night. I glanced at my watch and realised it was getting late. I slowly arose from my tomblike position and lumbered through the damp sand, using this last opportunity to glance as the brilliant sea sparkled under the luminosity of the crescent moon. Droplets ran down my face, however this time not rain. I continued walking, longing for someone whom I could’ve shared this moment with. I rummaged for my phone and put my earphones in, searching for song which fit the occasion. The stairs which led to the main strip were in sight with the voices of a language I could not fully understand overpowering the music I was listening to. Upon arrival, the amazing bedazzlement of lights and people made me hug the sidewalk as I searched carefully for the nearest bus stop.
The appetizing smell of food wafted from all directions accompanied by soothing laughter. I stopped and stared at the magnificent view on top the peak of the hill. Green luscious grass glittered in the moonlight as the trees danced in the wind. The refreshing breeze gracefully swept over my skin as I walked confidently to my destination. I couldn’t help but look at those around me and pull a smile. My heart raced, eyes darted and body felt an instant rush. I swung open the door with anticipation and asked the bartender with my very limited English for a drink. Uplifting music flowed throughout as I enjoyed ‘a cold one’ to myself. I peeped at my phone for an all important message, but it hadn’t arrived yet.
“Bartender, drink please. Long Island, thankyou!” During the process in which the drink was being concocted an attractive girl pulled a chair next to me and greeted me. Her name was Serenity, I could tell she was a local.
Her eyes glistened as she smiled. She was a genuine, real person. We spoke about our lives, who we were, our own mini stories. It was as though we were reading story books to each other. Even with my limited English we were able to laugh, gossip and talk for hours on end. We sat outside in the darkness, dimly lit by street lights and the moon. She irradiated a unique warmth. I could only manage to see the silhouette of her, but her exquisite features kept my attention.
“You two, we’re closing, time to leave.” The sturdy bartender made sure we had received the message well, as we walked out onto the strip. I looked at the water, it was now blissfully calm. Serenity and I walked onto the beach, our surroundings and body language managing to communicate to each other exactly what we had wished to say. We sat down and she inquisitively asked to look at my phone. I handed it to her, as I looked away, my attention caught by a man swimming out far beyond his depth.
“Here you go Tyler, I just wanted to check the time and send a message to someone as my phone was dead.” I glanced at the time upon return of my phone. My bus was coming within minutes!
I gave Serenity a quick hug and ran off before she could utter a word. Immediately a strange force nudged me to turn around but the bus was in sight. I walked onto the empty bus, my eyes darting left and right looking for life as I sat near the back. I placed my earphones in and pressed shuffle. The bus ride felt very short, occupied by looking out of the window into the rain. Walking back home I felt a sudden shortness of breath as I reached into my pocket for the keys to open my lonely apartment. I lurched for my bed and collapsed unto it, my breathing became heavier as tears ran down my cheeks and my vision became blurred.
Morning sun hit my face as I woke up in a daze. My eyes dashed to every corner of the room. I couldn’t help but feel empty as I made myself something to eat, my stomach included. During all my time here, I’d never felt like this. I felt euphoric, overjoyed. All my worries were at shoved into the filing cabinet which resided in the back of my head. I looked out of the window as the blue ocean mirrored my alienation. I readied for a walk on the beach as I grabbed my keys and headed for the door fully realising I may never see Serenity again.
I didn’t feel right. I felt uneasy, as if something was missing. She was missing. I felt my phone vibrate and looked at the message intrigued.
‘Look behind you.’
I turned around, unable to retain my breath as my sight focused. My stomach sank and my heart raced. I slowed down as she caught up and we continued walking in silence. I realised that this was the beginning of something special. It was the beginning of a life of ‘serenity’.
Have a read??
Falling
It was a beautiful spot, hidden well in the surroundings. I glanced around only to notice the dark trees which complemented pure white sands and the iridescent sun gleaming and reflecting off the shabby, yet gentle leaves. The rush of the wind gently tickled and sensationally soothed my skin as the sand hugged me, creating warmth and a sense of security only a mother could provide. Nervously examining the surroundings, I was enthralled and mesmerized by the natural vivid scenery. The waves crashed onto the shore, creating a rhythm similar to that of a heartbeat, and in closing one’s eyes produced an uncanny resemblance to my father’s heartbeat during the many times I have fallen asleep in his arms as a child. I always preferred silence, only speaking out of pure necessity. I gained an appreciation for what surrounded me. Nevertheless, my whole body was frail to such an unfamiliar world. I was so far, yet so close to home.
The sky was dark and the air full of seagulls sauntering in the cool zephyr. They seemed to float with such ease in bunches of many, wings spread apart and as stable as could be. Stability. Something intrinsic to home, something that embraces you. Something you take for granted. The dark sky rolled above with such pace as I was bombarded with nostalgia. Drops of water hit my face, the sky reckoning with anger. I should’ve listened. I shouldn’t have been so stubborn. The seagulls, weary and knowing of what is ahead, disperse. The waves had now become an asynchronous percussion orchestra of disaster and the sky even more apocalyptic. The warmth of the sand has long since left as I watched droplets plummet across the horizon of what was once a golden plain.
The brief sprinkling subsided. The humid sea air entered my nose, a smell so familiar back home. It was a peaceful moment, as it triggered many a memory, being the only smell which elicited such a response. I grabbed the gritty, cold sand, allowing my body to process the feeling which was so similar to that of my blanket on a cold winter’s night. I glanced at my watch and realised it was getting late. I slowly arose from my tomblike position and lumbered through the damp sand, using this last opportunity to glance as the brilliant sea sparkled under the luminosity of the crescent moon. Droplets ran down my face, however this time not rain. I continued walking, longing for someone whom I could’ve shared this moment with. I rummaged for my phone and put my earphones in, searching for song which fit the occasion. The stairs which led to the main strip were in sight with the voices of a language I could not fully understand overpowering the music I was listening to. Upon arrival, the amazing bedazzlement of lights and people made me hug the sidewalk as I searched carefully for the nearest bus stop.
The appetizing smell of food wafted from all directions accompanied by soothing laughter. I stopped and stared at the magnificent view on top the peak of the hill. Green luscious grass glittered in the moonlight as the trees danced in the wind. The refreshing breeze gracefully swept over my skin as I walked confidently to my destination. I couldn’t help but look at those around me and pull a smile. My heart raced, eyes darted and body felt an instant rush. I swung open the door with anticipation and asked the bartender with my very limited English for a drink. Uplifting music flowed throughout as I enjoyed ‘a cold one’ to myself. I peeped at my phone for an all important message, but it hadn’t arrived yet.
“Bartender, drink please. Long Island, thankyou!” During the process in which the drink was being concocted an attractive girl pulled a chair next to me and greeted me. Her name was Serenity, I could tell she was a local.
Her eyes glistened as she smiled. She was a genuine, real person. We spoke about our lives, who we were, our own mini stories. It was as though we were reading story books to each other. Even with my limited English we were able to laugh, gossip and talk for hours on end. We sat outside in the darkness, dimly lit by street lights and the moon. She irradiated a unique warmth. I could only manage to see the silhouette of her, but her exquisite features kept my attention.
“You two, we’re closing, time to leave.” The sturdy bartender made sure we had received the message well, as we walked out onto the strip. I looked at the water, it was now blissfully calm. Serenity and I walked onto the beach, our surroundings and body language managing to communicate to each other exactly what we had wished to say. We sat down and she inquisitively asked to look at my phone. I handed it to her, as I looked away, my attention caught by a man swimming out far beyond his depth.
“Here you go Tyler, I just wanted to check the time and send a message to someone as my phone was dead.” I glanced at the time upon return of my phone. My bus was coming within minutes!
I gave Serenity a quick hug and ran off before she could utter a word. Immediately a strange force nudged me to turn around but the bus was in sight. I walked onto the empty bus, my eyes darting left and right looking for life as I sat near the back. I placed my earphones in and pressed shuffle. The bus ride felt very short, occupied by looking out of the window into the rain. Walking back home I felt a sudden shortness of breath as I reached into my pocket for the keys to open my lonely apartment. I lurched for my bed and collapsed unto it, my breathing became heavier as tears ran down my cheeks and my vision became blurred.
Morning sun hit my face as I woke up in a daze. My eyes dashed to every corner of the room. I couldn’t help but feel empty as I made myself something to eat, my stomach included. During all my time here, I’d never felt like this. I felt euphoric, overjoyed. All my worries were at shoved into the filing cabinet which resided in the back of my head. I looked out of the window as the blue ocean mirrored my alienation. I readied for a walk on the beach as I grabbed my keys and headed for the door fully realising I may never see Serenity again.
I didn’t feel right. I felt uneasy, as if something was missing. She was missing. I felt my phone vibrate and looked at the message intrigued.
‘Look behind you.’
I turned around, unable to retain my breath as my sight focused. My stomach sank and my heart raced. I slowed down as she caught up and we continued walking in silence. I realised that this was the beginning of something special. It was the beginning of a life of ‘serenity’.
