Essay Feedback Please (1 Viewer)

[mmmm.]

Could i get some feedback on my essay and what you think i would get out of 20. I wrote this while doing the 2016 paper in timed conditions and just typed up my response.

Thankyou in advance

 

[jasminerulez]

Could i get some feedback on my essay and what you think i would get out of 20. I wrote this while doing the 2016 paper in timed conditions and just typed up my response.

Thankyou in advance

Maybe like a 18/20, only because you didn't have a third body paragraph and plus there needs to be more business terminology. Other then that, it has great statistics and cases that answers the question effectively.