justbellaforshort
New Member
From Year 7-10, I've always been confident in my studies, getting A's frequently save for when I'd have maths exams, which I'd work really hard to get high C's or low B's in. I thought I was so smart and really remarkable. Then, I start Year 11, and I find that I'm not that remarkable. If anything, I'm just like everyone else, and basically, all of my achievements in the past, mean nothing. Compared to my tasks now (which will only get harder), my achievements could have been reached by anyone. They were easy. And I thought I was so amazing.
I can deal with not being as remarkable as I thought I was, but just...I feel so behind in subjects that I used to be top of my grade in like English. Now, it's so...content-heavy and there are all of these very particular structures and bits of information to include in responses. Advanced and Extension I English - especially the latter - is just so hard for me right now. The first task was a creative writing piece, a paratext of Dracula. That was fine and I thought "hey, maybe Extension isn't so bad".
Now we're getting back into conceptual essays and looking at exemplar HSC papers, and just, man, it's so overwhelming. When I used to answer questions In class, I was usually right. But now I feel like some off-track idiot half the time. It doesn't help that my Dad nags from time to time about how school is "easier" nowadays. He never went to Year 11 or 12, and he was in high school in the 80s. We know more now, there is more to learn, and we have to learn it all faster. He can't tell me it's easy now...he never did it. It just grinds at me, makes me feel so stupid. So when I do get something wrong, which is more often lately, I feel like a complete waste of space. What am I doing here? Why am I even bothering if I just don't get it? Why give a shit?
I know already how much I will have to work to get to the high ass standards I was shown for Extension English, and I just don't know if I can do it, or if I want to do it. I've heard how many times B6 and E4 students have cried over and over again about how hard they had to consistently apply themselves to reach that high a band.
I've been so anxious about English all day, and just pissed about it...I'll never need to understand or apply English how we do in school once I finish the HSC next year...it's just so stressful, and for what? Nothing...it's just so much. Just unnecessarily hard, at least that's how I see it.
Anyway, just wanted to rant - is anyone else feeling this? Any fellow Extension English students?
I can deal with not being as remarkable as I thought I was, but just...I feel so behind in subjects that I used to be top of my grade in like English. Now, it's so...content-heavy and there are all of these very particular structures and bits of information to include in responses. Advanced and Extension I English - especially the latter - is just so hard for me right now. The first task was a creative writing piece, a paratext of Dracula. That was fine and I thought "hey, maybe Extension isn't so bad".
Now we're getting back into conceptual essays and looking at exemplar HSC papers, and just, man, it's so overwhelming. When I used to answer questions In class, I was usually right. But now I feel like some off-track idiot half the time. It doesn't help that my Dad nags from time to time about how school is "easier" nowadays. He never went to Year 11 or 12, and he was in high school in the 80s. We know more now, there is more to learn, and we have to learn it all faster. He can't tell me it's easy now...he never did it. It just grinds at me, makes me feel so stupid. So when I do get something wrong, which is more often lately, I feel like a complete waste of space. What am I doing here? Why am I even bothering if I just don't get it? Why give a shit?
I know already how much I will have to work to get to the high ass standards I was shown for Extension English, and I just don't know if I can do it, or if I want to do it. I've heard how many times B6 and E4 students have cried over and over again about how hard they had to consistently apply themselves to reach that high a band.
I've been so anxious about English all day, and just pissed about it...I'll never need to understand or apply English how we do in school once I finish the HSC next year...it's just so stressful, and for what? Nothing...it's just so much. Just unnecessarily hard, at least that's how I see it.
Anyway, just wanted to rant - is anyone else feeling this? Any fellow Extension English students?