when you try and get rid of all your immediate distractions but you realize the second you finish doing so that if you take out too many your brain goes fucking 'nuh-uh' to doing work and you reluctantly pull some of your distraction tabs back up,,,,,,, why are you like this,,,,,,,,,
finally finished that overdue assignment,,,,, its so ass compared to what i usually do but it's submitted. now i need to focus on the 2 other major projects due at the end of this week that are slightly more fun!!!
research findings (not the actual task!!!) due in like. an hour,,,,,,, and i'm not even half done,,,,,,,,, yeah no fuck this we're submitting this shit late
realizing that all my goddamn humanities will not affect me past y10,,,, so calming. *looking at the 7 assessments/projects i have within the next 3 weeks. 4 of them are humanities.*
i have like. 3 major projects due in 2 weeks. most of which i have barely done anything for. one of which is a speech. and here i am,,,, stressing over next year's eng-adv. materials,,,,,,,, how do i find myself doing everything but important schoolwork,,,,,,
every week i promise myself i'm going to be productive and every time i forget i have time blindness and greatly underestimate just how long it takes for me to do anything ever. i have finished one (1) overdue homework over the weekend. i finished it last minute. i think i am going to die in y11
also need to get this off my chest: last term made one of the best poems i've ever done. excessive 4 pages of doublespaced freeverse (+ fandom-related!!) all for an ungraded for-fun assignment. english extension & advanced teachers gave thumbs up. did so well during in-class recitation but was too scared to ask if i could recite it in year-wide poetry slam. i am still seething :head in hands: