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you need to wear more low-cut tops, obviously

Does it come with a vibrator attachment, to you know, shake the bugs off it...

Lies, I'm going to get free money!

You're taking the piss, aren't you?

Err no, that's not how you get clean clothes. Step 1) Buy a clothes basket Step 2) Put dirty clothes in basket Step 3) When basket it full or you are out of clothes, empty basket by inverting it over a floor, table or chair. The clothes at the top of the pile will have had the longest to lose...

We tried to get them today and the chick told us some crap about not getting them yet cause they work till March. No shit, but I'm here now so I might as well get it! As a hint to all the new kids: go NOW to get your student cards, parking permits and concession stickers. The lines are nuts in...

hammer time!

It seems my errection power has declined lately. I only give 25 rep these days.

I like to spread my love.

If I lived on campus, I'd love to turn up to a lecture wearing only a bathrobe and uggboots. Unfortunately I don't and it never really gets that cold anyway.

Two tickets to the gun show?

Stop lying!

I love staying up late. It's so much easier to go to sleep when you're so tired that you just pass out as soon as you lay down.

Bean bags are so hard to get out of, and it's not practical trying to eat in one because you're pretty much laying down.

White couches always remind me of the 4th story of this (The Phantom Menace): TuckerMax.com | The Blowjob Follies

ew, that looks painful to sit on. And it's white, how unpractical for many activities.

pass teh doobie

how do you know?

chloroform being a date rape drug is a myth apparently. All it does is make you dizzy and gives you cancer.

My old school friends had some awesome futons. I was jealous, they're so comforable and practical. They had ones like: http://www.thefurniture.com/store/images/Simmons/SF-RPT-SET.jpg They were really cheap and always dirty as (they were uni students), but they were still awesome.