Are you possessive? What makes you jealous in a relationship? (1 Viewer)

[Dejected]

slash out? more like...
(have a) slash on!

LOLO

matt, you define fucked

 

[azzie]

Hmm kind of true here, he always goes on about how perfect, beautiful, wonderful, caring etc etc I am...deep down I'm just hoping that both his eyes are really, actually, open like he says they are.

Actions speak louder than words- look at what he does, not what he says.

 

[(^o^)]

I'm quite the jealous type. What makes me jealous/possesive in the relationship? Pretty much, every girl that comes within touching distance of my b/f, other girls he has on his mobile phone/MSN etc. Having said that, it's not like I ever act on it and I know that the tinge of jealousy I feel is stupid so I never make it a relationship issue. I just have to deal with it, because it's obviously my own personality problem, that I'll eventually get over.

I'm a hypocrite too cause I have guy friends (and my b/f seems cool with it) and the person I actually most LOVE outside my immediate family is..........a six year old girl that I teach at Sunday School. Everytime she sees me and yells out 'unni' and smiles, I almost feel as warm as if I'm with my b/f. I don't think she's going to threaten our relationship though.. haha

you teach sunday school? those asian ones?

wow how old r you?!?!?

 

[what971]

you teach sunday school? those asian ones?

wow how old r you?!?!?

18.

Korean church. I have to take the early morning service, and then the second kiddie service and then groups afterwards. It's so worth it though.

 

[Bendent]

You know, i think it's a cool feeling when you are starting to like someone and both try to make each other jealous. It shows you really like each other, and cute. If you're in a relationship and gets jealous of each other it becomes possessive and lame.

 

[tlodg]

You know, i think it's a cool feeling when you are starting to like someone and both try to make each other jealous. It shows you really like each other, and cute. If you're in a relationship and gets jealous of each other it becomes possessive and lame.

yes.

a bit of jealousy (don't make a big deal outta small things) is fine, sometimes even "spices up" a dull relationship moment but when it goes over the board..... then watch out. If 80% of the time you spend "together" are fights that ignited from jealousy/insecurity then prepare to say "bye-bye" to your relationship in no time.

 

[tlodg]

Actions speak louder than words- look at what he does, not what he says.

that is so true.

Don't be blinded by words.... especially by words he knows u WANT to hear/believe.

 

[Redgoddess]

my partner not being able to talk to me about everything would give me the shits. i dont care about that many people, but i like to be there for those that i do care about and not knowing what's wrong or being able to help would hurt me. i agree with whoever said i'd rather have the hurt of knowing what's going on. it's not even really a jealousy issue, but i dont like that they feel they can't tell me stuff. i dont expect them to tell me everything, but when it's something significant that's affecting them, i'd want to know. *shrugs* that's just me.

 

[SiZmOs]

my partner not being able to talk to me about everything would give me the shits.

VS

i dont expect them to tell me everything...

 

[Alimoe_KG]

Your bf is lame. He "wants to protect you". Haha.

 

[Redgoddess]

oops good point sizmos, my bad. what i meant was they dont have to tell me everything, but i wouldnt want them to feel like they couldnt.

 

[Rebecca1234]

umm i am not really the 'jealous' type. My boyfriend talks to alot of girls and i have met most of them and yeah i say they are 'better looking' than myself but i trust. The main thing a relationship is based on is trust an if you dont have trust i dont see how the relationship can work, maybe jus try and ask him why there are certain things u can not know but also think there are some things us girls go to our girlfriends for and not our boyfriends. Friends and partners a two seperate issues i say! Sorry, but trust him!! ...

 

[azzie]

This is going to sound really weird, but I trust my boyfriend around other women because I don't love him.

I mean, I like him a lot, I just don't know what love is so can't say I love him.
But because I'm not 150% emotionally involved, I trust him, because if he does something wrong, it'll be bad but my heart won't busted in two.

 

[Cykologi_gal]

Yeah, I do trust him...he reminds me of my first ex, lookwise, personality-wise, similar family and they even have the same star-sign! I lost him because I didn't trust him and held on too tightly...

Those who fail history are doomed to repeat it.

...but I know I'll pass this time round, we've sorted the stuff out, you know, and they're really very awkward things. I'm really glad that he's got someone else other than me...it didn't make sense to me, but later I thought, far out, I'm going to be a friken counsellor and I'm forbidding him to talk about things and to express his feelings, that I'm restricting his life! I'm glad he's not putting all his worries/eggs in one basket

 

[azzie]

Awh, poor azwah.

No, it's actually quite good!

 

[Skeeta]

No, it's actually quite good!

i think you need psychiatric help

 

[AsyLum]

This is going to sound really weird, but I trust my boyfriend around other women because I don't love him.

I mean, I like him a lot, I just don't know what love is so can't say I love him.
But because I'm not 150% emotionally involved, I trust him, because if he does something wrong, it'll be bad but my heart won't busted in two.

But the feeling of rejection doesn't need love, the perceived notion of 'love' usually just heightens the 'hurt'. (though what would i know )

I wasn't particularly concerned with my first one, since she was a dancer, and I wasn't really a clubber/dancer, I thought it all good, and I think our one and only fight was over me joking about her dance partner hooking up with her, and her pleading with me that she wasn't like that.

(ironically she cheated on me with another guy then hooked up with her dance partner...rofl)

So now I guess I'm a bit more hesitant to trust anyone let alone them talking to guys, but bleh, like people have said, without trust, what is there? Once my trust is broken though, I don't think its possible to gain it back with any ease, being a naturally reserved person.

 

[azzie]

Well as soon as someone can define love for me and why it's so important to be "in love" with someone rather than just being happy as is.... well then I'll rethink how it is.

For now things are cool just being cool. I've been asking people for about a day now how you can tell something is love and not lust or familiarity, and I haven't gotten any good responses so far.

Plus, what, I'm 19. The chances he'll find someone else (like other guys I've dated) are high, chances we'll break up are high, chances he changes his mind are high so why commit emotionally before you're sure it's for serious?

 

[azzie]

Azzie's so pessimisstic and emotionally closed off.

My dear, go through three bad breakups and you'll know why I'm not just flinging myself at men.

Plus, thats an excellent way to get hurt.

If he gets serious then I'll think about committing emotionally. Untill that time (if it comes), I'm happy just having fun and not thinking to hard about how I feel.


As you grow up, you realise you have to sometimes look out for yourself. I've been hurt badly before, and it won't happen again. True story!

 

[Skeeta]

As you grow up, you realise you have to sometimes look out for yourself. I've been hurt badly before, and it won't happen again. True story!

And when you REALLY grow up, you realise that saying being grown up isnt actually being grown up.

And not everyone is a wanker.

And by telling yourself you wont get hurt is probably the best way for it to happen.