notthedevil
I love the Pakenham line
These last 6 weeks or so have been a bit iffy for me in terms of how I feel about the HSC and I want to sort this out before we get too close to trials.
My ATAR goal since Year 11 has been 99.9 just because it qualifies me for academic scholarships and also it is very high thus even if I don't get the ATAR, I will (theoretically) have an ATAR that is still really good. But I'm really starting to debate the importance of this, because 99.9 is extremely difficult and the benefits aren't that important for me (other than being rural and having to move away, my family is still economically able and I will be able to repay uni debts without too much hassle). If my ATAR goal was lowered, I could still do well and get into a course I want.
I'm starting to realise that the fields I want to work in most (urban planning) don't require uni courses that are in really high demand (job prospects are actually pretty good therefore), so a 99 ATAR world really be pointless from a practical point of view. This is because the three urban planning courses I have looked at need ATARs of 85, 83, and 70. And I understand many people aim for 99+ ATARs but those are mostly people that actually need a 99 for things like medicine, law, etc (aka not what I have too much interest in).
But here's the thing. I'm really wrapped up in this idea of prestige and looking good from the perspective of others in terms of academics. This means that I really wanna be top of the class in most subjects for a sense of pride and admiration (which is really bad but its also what has kept up my motivation). That's why I'm scared of lowering my ATAR goal, because I don't want to look dumb and that I'm not really worth much (again really bad but thats how it is for me). Ironically enough, I'm studying a lot less now because I'm so confused about what I really want to achieve.
I've tried lowering the ATAR goal to 99.00 (but its still unnecessarily high and only serves to inflate my ego), then I lowered it to 96.40 (a bit above my older brother's ATAR, but why should I care about doing better than him if literally no one else would care), and now I don't really know what's good for me anymore in terms of a goal.
This issue has basically come about because (weirdly enough) I finally discovered that people in Year 12 don't just study, but they hang out with friends and travel and do a bunch of different things which, for me, are activities that are infinitely more fulfilling than studying and waiting for good results (because being around others helps create good memories and new experiences). Basically since I have started to do a bunch of different things with friends, the ATAR has become a lots less important, because the happiness of being with friends for me is a lot more powerful than that of getting good school results.
With that being said, I still want to look good and the ATAR for me is still a symbol of hard work (which would be very fulfilling if I could get a 99+ ATAR) but if it comes at curtailing my life experiences, then I don't care about a 99 anymore, just because the happiness that a 99+ would give me wouldn't last very long, and also its not super practical if all i need is a high 80's ATAR.
This is mainly to express my feelings about the HSC but I still have questions. Should I lower my ATAR goal even if it means giving up personal pride? Or should I keep my options open and strive for a 99 just in case I end up wanting a uni course with a high ATAR requirement? Is it bad for me to value friendships and relationships way more than the HSC?
My ATAR goal since Year 11 has been 99.9 just because it qualifies me for academic scholarships and also it is very high thus even if I don't get the ATAR, I will (theoretically) have an ATAR that is still really good. But I'm really starting to debate the importance of this, because 99.9 is extremely difficult and the benefits aren't that important for me (other than being rural and having to move away, my family is still economically able and I will be able to repay uni debts without too much hassle). If my ATAR goal was lowered, I could still do well and get into a course I want.
I'm starting to realise that the fields I want to work in most (urban planning) don't require uni courses that are in really high demand (job prospects are actually pretty good therefore), so a 99 ATAR world really be pointless from a practical point of view. This is because the three urban planning courses I have looked at need ATARs of 85, 83, and 70. And I understand many people aim for 99+ ATARs but those are mostly people that actually need a 99 for things like medicine, law, etc (aka not what I have too much interest in).
But here's the thing. I'm really wrapped up in this idea of prestige and looking good from the perspective of others in terms of academics. This means that I really wanna be top of the class in most subjects for a sense of pride and admiration (which is really bad but its also what has kept up my motivation). That's why I'm scared of lowering my ATAR goal, because I don't want to look dumb and that I'm not really worth much (again really bad but thats how it is for me). Ironically enough, I'm studying a lot less now because I'm so confused about what I really want to achieve.
I've tried lowering the ATAR goal to 99.00 (but its still unnecessarily high and only serves to inflate my ego), then I lowered it to 96.40 (a bit above my older brother's ATAR, but why should I care about doing better than him if literally no one else would care), and now I don't really know what's good for me anymore in terms of a goal.
This issue has basically come about because (weirdly enough) I finally discovered that people in Year 12 don't just study, but they hang out with friends and travel and do a bunch of different things which, for me, are activities that are infinitely more fulfilling than studying and waiting for good results (because being around others helps create good memories and new experiences). Basically since I have started to do a bunch of different things with friends, the ATAR has become a lots less important, because the happiness of being with friends for me is a lot more powerful than that of getting good school results.
With that being said, I still want to look good and the ATAR for me is still a symbol of hard work (which would be very fulfilling if I could get a 99+ ATAR) but if it comes at curtailing my life experiences, then I don't care about a 99 anymore, just because the happiness that a 99+ would give me wouldn't last very long, and also its not super practical if all i need is a high 80's ATAR.
This is mainly to express my feelings about the HSC but I still have questions. Should I lower my ATAR goal even if it means giving up personal pride? Or should I keep my options open and strive for a 99 just in case I end up wanting a uni course with a high ATAR requirement? Is it bad for me to value friendships and relationships way more than the HSC?
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