My friend wanted other people's feedback on his creative so what do you think?
(this is just the beginning of the short story)
Some day soon
“Come on Jamal, its time to go”, Jamal quietly thought.
He waved goodbye to his friends and family as he walked on with hope and pride towards the airplane checkout, it wasn’t an easy thing leaving your family in India to go and do something as hard as Jamal aimed to pursue in a country such as England. Being in such a over populated country with almost little possibility of making it into professional football and coming from a family of 9 with harsh living conditions, Jamal aims to go to England and pursue his dream of becoming a professional footballer.
When Jamal landed on the grounds of London, England, Jamal felt he didn’t know his way around and all the people were extremely different to him physically, this made Jamal feel very isolated, as he continues to look around waiting for something to happen,
“BEEP BEEP, brother! Jamal its me Botran, get in the car! “, his brother approached the front of the airport surprising Jamal.
“Botron! I haven’t seen you for like two years man, how’s work over here going?”, Jamal questioned excitedly,
“Not the best brother, but enough to send over to our family every week. Hows the football Jamal, Mum told me you are going for it here in London?”, his brother asked,
“Going for what Botran? Oh yes, I just need to get into this team called Derby FC and win the grand final and I will have a great chance of successfully making it to the English Premier League and someday soon i will perhaps play for the best team in the world Manchester United”, Jamal said slowly but effectively.
“Don’t worry about anything brother, i’ll be with you all along to guide you in your endeavours here in England”, Botran said quietly as he rubbed Jamals head. This made Jamal feel very secure and safe being with his brother.