Best+Worst of Teacher Quotes and Habits (1 Viewer)

[enwiabe]

Ahhh my maths teacher!

Nobody could understand f(x) so he says, "Consider x to be any variable, maybe y and we could have f of y. Or maybe it's cloud and we could have f of cloud. Alternatively, we could have f of dog. Or my favourite, f of pussy." and he actually drew a pussy cat and said, "Now I want everyone to f pussy for the value of 2"

...

 

[livebait]

physics/ head of science teacher: "Nathan and his dad went out the back and got really wet together"

english teacher: "He's dead partly because he killed himself"
"Hey, you could just call your friends in Afganistan and ask 'em how the bombings are going."

maths teacher to a particularly disruptive student: "When I close my eyes to sleep at night all i see is you, talking."

 

[Forbidden.]

Ahhh my maths teacher!

Nobody could understand f(x) so he says, "Consider x to be any variable, maybe y and we could have f of y. Or maybe it's cloud and we could have f of cloud. Alternatively, we could have f of dog. Or my favourite, f of pussy." and he actually drew a pussy cat and said, "Now I want everyone to f pussy for the value of 2"

...

rifk

 

[RHINO7]

This is actually a student's stupidity;


Teacher--- Tell me something about Adolf Hitler.


Student replied---- If Adolf Hitler was alive today he would be dead.


He didn't know why everybody was laughing.

 

[ssglain]

Ext-1 English teacher, on the ending of A.S. Byatt's Possession:
"Sex is all about recreation, and of course, re-creation."
It does fit in rather nicely with our Postmodernism elective.

 

[Sparcod]

That was nice.

 

[m0ofin]

PDHPE lesson back in year 9
Teacher: Now girls, if a boy ever tells you it doesn’t fit *puts both fists into a rubber contraceptive* trust me, it’ll fit.

Maths teacher telling us a story
Teacher: And so Miss A told me she went on holiday to Hawaii. Said she had the most awesome and fun time there. I said “Sounds like you had sex”
Class: Gross.
Teacher: What, I like sex, it’s normal.

Same Maths teacher
Student: Sir, did you know that Miss A has a boyfriend?
Teacher: Oh, that’s disgusting.

Two boys asked to go toilet, only one returns, looking rather flushed.
Teacher: You look like you’ve just ridden a pony.

 

[SyCoTiC]

I've got two.

In Maths class doing surds:

..So then you add these two together..

..And then you root 'em.

During Modern History, a mate of mine fell asleep during class discussion. My teacher was in the middle of asking a question..

So who knows why the Reichstag fell?

My mate farts.

*Burst of laughter*

An explosive answer.

 

[Season]

I just remember this from health class

-she's fairly old teacher

Mrs F: 'girls its quite usual for girls to have trouble having an orgasm, why I didn't have my first until my first baby was suckling me'


*class shudders*

 

[LatK7]

Last week a friend of mine answered a question, helping another guy who is simply a tosser.

Our SDD/IPT teacher goes, "Why are ya helping him mate? He gives ya crap all the time, learn to hate, mate! One day you'll see him crash his car on the freeway and see him and go, 'there's that SOB. Burn ya bastard! *teacher flicks everyone off*"

Very, very bizarre.

Since my father is an accountant for the ATO, he also asked me if i knew how to cheat the system...

Weird guy.

 

[bringbackshred]

I've got two.

In Maths class doing surds:



During Modern History, a mate of mine fell asleep during class discussion. My teacher was in the middle of asking a question..



My mate farts.

*Burst of laughter*

Lol @ surds. They were amazing for our Year 8 dirty minds.

 

[SyCoTiC]

Yeah well we were in year 11. We haven't matured at all. =P

 

[w00dy.]

Yeah well we were in year 11. We haven't matured at all. =P

we had similar happenings in our maths class in year 11, our maths teacher actully encouraged us to think of it that way, 'aparently it helps us learnt it better'.

mind you he had fun explaining to the class the difference between and imaginary and real 'root' .... weird

 

[Armenikum]

Apparently in one of my mates class, the IPT teacher gives a tonne of homework for the next day....

Class: C'mon Sir!!!!!

Teacher: Don't 'come on' me!! .............................Ohh shit...

*Explosive laughter*

 

[mzduxx2006]

my teacher says "the better we all do the better we all do" wtf does that mean ?? LOL

 

[SyCoTiC]

Means he's full of shit. LOL

 

[kkkkaitlyn]

biology teacher
"whats the fastest cake?" ....................."scooooone"
that was his joke.. he thought he was pretty awsome

my english teacher also has a thing about open doors
cant handle them

 

[w00dy.]

not really a teacher one, but a student one, which is just as good all the same.


in bio the other day one of the guys went to tell a story, and the whole class just went really quiet, but he didnt want everyone to hear so he told us all to 'keep talking...shut up'

 

[munchybuddy]

My english teacher is about 55 and he is really sweet....

Its not so funny what he says more what he does.

He always pauses for long periods of time, stares into space and says um alot

It is so funny i suppose u just have to b there

Oh he also tells us the roots of words which cracks us up big time-

(IE- ego comes from the latin word meaning I) he is a crack up

 

[munchybuddy]

Oh my friend was in Bio and they were talking bout genetics

The teacher told a story of how years age she was teaching a class and she explained to them that if both parents have blues eyes and blonde hair then their child has a 100% chance of having blue eyes and blonde hair

then this kid in her class put his hand up and said that both his parents had blue eyes and blonde hair but he had brown eyes and hair.

He then found out that he was adopted and he had no idea

Pretty sad, but pretty funny too- what are the chances