Best+Worst of Teacher Quotes and Habits (4 Viewers)

[technicolour]

We had a year meeting today, and our year advisor was telling us to be careful with our white shirts. He said:

"Make sure you have an appropriately coloured bra to go under your white shirts...we don't want all that leopard-print getting the male teachers excited."

One of my other favourites was from my Ext 1 English teacher: "Life is fuzzy."

 

[hermand]

maths;
a girl in my class can spin a book on her finger and my teacher was telling her he expected a performance after the weekend so she could practice.
one of the guys yelled out "guy2 can make magic."
guy2; "no i can't."
teacher; "your parents make magic. *awkward pause* you can take that any way you want."

french;
we have an exchange student from france at the moment and i answered a question and my french teacher told me i was wrong. the exchange student said to him, umm no she's right. he got really embarrassed. it happens quite a bit. the other french teacher is rather worried about our class.

 

[laostarr23]

my modern history teacher always says when our class, well mostly the boys get out of hand "it's the blind leading the blind into a whirpool of ignorance" its gotten common now so we all say it word for word when he does pretty funny when it happens....good times

 

[Maddie3]

History
Student- what do you think of migration?
Teacher- Have you heard about the fairybread convention?... Hundreds and thousands went....

Maths
Teacher- do the opposite to get the answer..

 

[TheFeared]

After lunch I had maths
Teacher: 'Any questions?' He meant like relating to the homework
Student: 'Yeah, what did you have for lunch?'
*Class cracks up, thinking that was really random*

Probably more of a you had to be there to laugh at it.

 

[ajk92]

it was a day where there was this teachers swimming carnival...and my teacher was complaining how she was tossing and turning the night before

student: miss..you swimming today?
teacher: nah..i dont want everyone to see me in my swimmers
student: i would like to see you in your swimmers
teacher: cmon now, thats inappropriate
student: you didnt say that last night...
different student: THATS why she was tossing and turning

*class dies with laughter

 

[lauren92]

Teacher: F**K me dead like a rissole... thats an aussie slang saying.

 

[*Jezzza]

English teacher this year while we were taking about an RTA ad that was targeted at Aboriginal drivers:
"This poster is for aboriginal people, opposed to normal Australians"

Another one about the RTA ads that was targeting young people and speeding (you know the one, with the pinkie)
"A car is not an extension of your penis"

"If you're honing down the street and kill a 4 year old. BAM you're someones little girl in gaol"

Some other pretty good ones that I can't remember right now

 

[AlphabetSoup]

it was a day where there was this teachers swimming carnival...and my teacher was complaining how she was tossing and turning the night before

student: miss..you swimming today?
teacher: nah..i dont want everyone to see me in my swimmers
student: i would like to see you in your swimmers
teacher: cmon now, thats inappropriate
student: you didnt say that last night...
different student: THATS why she was tossing and turning

*class dies with laughter

That is deadset one of the funniest things I've ever heard!

 

[MissMoniMoo]

My english teacher has a bizarre habit of talking like cartman from south park. just in the middle of a sentence she'll start talking like cartman, or muttering to herself about how we're ''breaking her balls''. and shes not young either...she's nearly retirement age.

hey my teacher does exactly that... and i thinks she actually is retiring in 2 years.. she actually a good teacher..

although once when going through the roles (we have photos next to our names) she called one girl a "stupid cow" because she dyed her hair so many times she couldn't recognise her..

and also when we were discussing womens rights and how women were treated like property, one of the guys in our class said something along the lines of how it should still be like that
she said
"Class, tomorrow we will kill (students name). Bring weapons"


oh and our principle of 2 years ago told us how our education was like... and i quote:
"The Beaconsfield Mining Incident"
he seriously went on with metaphors of how
"sometimes we feel like theres no escape" and
"its a struggle at times"
"but there is a light at the end of the tunnel"

god it was hilarious, some of the teachers looked shocked.


and also our deputy on assembly told the whole school that
"Mr Green (a really obese pervert teacher) is looking for a girl, *pause*"
the whole school broke out in laughter as he tried to correct himself:
"Mr Green is looking for a girl in year 11 or twelve, *another pause*"
lol then he even started laughing at it himself
it ended up being he wanted a billet for an exchange student but it took him a few minutes to regain control of the students.

 

[meilz92]

hahahaha
me and my friend spent all of last week literally writing down everything our chemistry teacher said
we spent half of each lesson laughingg our heads off

quotess lol.....some of my personal favourites...

[talking about the hsc workload]:
"im not trying to be brutal here, like, i dont want to smash you.... why do you want to get smashed?"


[when he was sick]:
"dont annoy me, ill come over there and breathe over you, you dont want this, trust me"


[after 45 minutes of straight talking at the class]:
"fantastic! im through talking and everybody's cheering!"

[in relation to 2L bottles of softdrink]:
"you open the cold one what happens??.. it goes pssssst, you open the warm one, what happens? you wear it."

[in relation to a topic he had already covered]"
"i already bored you with that didnt i? excellent!"


and then theres like random things he always has a habit of saying

eg. "we're all friends here" and "...kinda" and "in the 80s..." and "just for fun" and "....but not really"

next chem lesson we are gona keep a tally of how many times he says kinda




*sigh* me and my friend arent gonna fail our hsc, no not at all :S

i guess u have to be in our class to see the humour in most of the quotes


all 44 of them to be exact :S

 

[meilz92]

oh yeah, and once, my ext maths teacher was trying to say "concurrent lines" and he got a bit tongue tied

he said "c**t" instead..

the class nearly died laughingg lol


that same maths teacher usedd to bake us cakes sometimes when we used to have our fortnightly double period last year hahahaha

 

[meilz92]

Another lame Chemistry teacher joke:

Student A: I walked in on my parents having sex.
Student B: Really? I could never be able to imagine my parents......(trails off as teacher is approaching)
Student B: Annnnnnnnnywayyyyy, the limitations for covalent molecular models.....yeah.....
Teacher: Someone's parents were bonding covalently?

LMFAOO i love lame chemistry teacher jokess
theyre the besst hahahhaha

 

[ayehann]

my english teachers gone " this question is interesting F**K how do we answer it!


AND the business studies teacher goes " i know im a looser and i admit it"
which is kinda funny coz hes a nice person

 

[tismalheureuse]

then there was mr clarke... who had a scottish accent and thus everything he said was awesome... regardless of what he actually said. few choice quotes were "oooh... ur a strange one then aren't you?"

LOL, I think this Mr Clarke with a Scottish accent now teaches at my school. My friend who has him as a form teacher, said once he was reading the bulletin one morning. "...we hope to see you all there. Equals D....What's equals D?" Gold.

 

[elle92]

in bio the other day my teacher left her phone on the back table and was up the front helping a few of us with a prac... it rang really loudly and everyone just stopped and looked at her. she looked back at us and said "well what are you doing? answer it! it might be important, i'm waiting for a call!" like it was the obvious thing to do. one of the guys looked around then picked it up and answered it with "um, hello?" he listened then said "nah man, this is james. she's teaching our bio class. can i take a message?"
hilarious.

 

[Jigabeth]

My Biology teacher is silly.
He was talking about some acronym and there was a T. He was writing on the whiteboard at the time and the white board markers were pretty dodgy.
So he was writing about what the T stood for, so he goes " T is for.... stupid damn pen!"
heehee.

Then we had to put iodine on a leaf to test for starch (because there is starch in chlorophyll) so we were putting it on with the dropper. He came along and told us to just pour it on. So we did. And it went all over the (blue) floor. It was so funny because it wouldn't have happened if we had of done it our way. Then one of my good friends said that we should put starch on the iodine because when iodine comes in contact with starch it turns blue. =]

 

[Shae92]

Lol, nice one guys! I have some:

Geography teacher: I went to the Phillipenes once. When we travelled around the mountains, we had to ride poor little donkeys.
Class (symphathetic moans): AWWWWW!
Geography teacher: No no! Don't worry! I don't abuse animals for my pleasure!

And my old maths teacher liked to put up multiple-choice questions on the board (e.g. 2a, 2b,2c, 2d....) and then would say: "2b or not 2b?"

Year 7 Food Tech - there was a thunderstorm and everyone was poking their heads out of the windows and sticking their hands out into the rain.
Teacher: Girls, come back in! You'll get struck by a thunder!

Hehe! =]

 

[clo-ree]

My twin sisters english teacher: *walks in and shuts door* Shut up you fucking bunch of bastards.

My english teacher: "Please stop swearing guys, I wish you's would just shut the fuck up."

My english teacher... Again.

Teacher: Hands back survey with age: 30 odd
Student: How old are your twins now.
Teacher: They will be 12 this year. I remember teaching you and your twin in year 7 and 8 and now you are both almost 18.
Student: Wow! So how old are you... *starts pulling out numbers*
Teacher: Okay I'm 39.
Student: Your two years older then my mum.
Teacher: Don't remind me. Now I feel old.

 

[_skinnedalive]

Extension I English teacher, I think needs to see someone about this.
In a discussion about some text, possibly The Skull Beneath the Skin, idk.

She was like to some poor boy to emphasis the fact that the was joking:

"I'm dumping on you, you silly moo!"

Poor Sam.