Chippin' in for Petrol and other Matters (1 Viewer)

[pete_mate]

i bet none of you that are criticizing the sharing of the costs of petrol drive cars.

He's doing you a favour by driving you home, the least you could do is cover some of the cost. you still get a lift home.

My ex-girlfriend's parents had given her a car, yet she was too lazy to get her licence, so she wanted me to drive 30mins to get her, and then drop her off when she wanted to go home.

that's 2 hrs of driving and at least $15 in petrol. Most people getting a lift somehwere forget the fact that that person has to drive back from where they had to go aswell.

I think the bf (assuming he's the one who drives because females seem to have an aversion to driving) likes to receive petrol money so he doesnt feel like he's being used at some point.

 

[dora_18]

although....all these comments are really an individual thing, i have my own system going and expect certain things but if other people have other opinions and follow different customs then i dont really mind....apart from the initial 5secs of embarrasement i feel for the person im more than happy to chip in for things

 

[jhakka]

Waf has said everything that needs to be said in this argument. Him and anyone who has encouraged equal relationships.

Anyone else is either selfish (girls who expect guys to pay for everything) or stupid (guys who think it's their job to pay for everything). And then there is sparkl3s who answers questions that haven't even been asked and think that netspeak and a lack of completed sentences makes them sound intelligent when it comes to relationships.

Any girl who gets into a relationship expecting to be "pampered" by the guy and give nothing in return (I'm sure the girls who are sexing the guys enjoy it just as much, so that doesn't count as giving something back) are obviously experiencing delusions about what a relationship is, or are expecting some fantasy that in no way will encourage a functional relationship in the long run. Also, why isn't the guy entitled to get something out of the relationship or enjoy himself as much as the girl? I ask this because the girls in the selfish camp seem to think that it's all about them.

Pay for your own shit, help out if you can (because it is polite to offer) and do the occasional sweet thing for each other. I don't see what the problem with this is, or how it makes anyone a tightarse. You seem to be more the tightarse or at least the selfish one by expecting the bloke to cover everything.

 

[withoutaface]

You're missing the point.... I suggest that the one who does the inviting does the paying.

And it makes no difference if one is a raging rich QC and the other is a garbo.

The host (man or woman) should expect to pay.
They should not expect their guest to "chip in", especially if it wasn't obvious from the original invitation. And it's grossly impolite to spring it on them.

If he asks her out, then she is his guest, and he should be paying.
Vice-versa applies - if she asks him out, then she pays.

No worthwhile girl will be concerned about going on a date that is within the guy's means.

I am not suggesting being a tight-arse, buuuuuut, spending more than you can afford is one of those things where you are not being yourself - and when you are not being yourself, chicks hate that.

This is not 1950's-think people, it's just good manners.

That's retarded. I'm sorry, but it really is.

 

[dora_18]

no i agree

 

[withoutaface]

If it's a first date, maybe. But after that it's kinda mutual agreement rather than one person asking the other so it falls down completely.

 

[Skeeta]

They should not expect their guest to "chip in", especially if it wasn't obvious from the original invitation. And it's grossly impolite to spring it on them.

If he asks her out, then she is his guest, and he should be paying.
Vice-versa applies - if she asks him out, then she pays.

this might work for the first date..

but what do you do if you've been together for like... four years (as i have been)

we dont exactly invite each other out
it just happens
and he'd be very very very broke right now if he paid for both of us all the time

 

[sparkl3z]

Waf has said everything that needs to be said in this argument. Him and anyone who has encouraged equal relationships.

Anyone else is either selfish (girls who expect guys to pay for everything) or stupid (guys who think it's their job to pay for everything). And then there is sparkl3s who answers questions that haven't even been asked and think that netspeak and a lack of completed sentences makes them sound intelligent when it comes to relationships.

only me eh? well at least i give broad answers so people can look at things from many viewpoints, if you don't understand my writing then that's your problem, but if you're going to critisise peoples responses, you're forgetting to also mention half a dozen of trolls on these threads who give one sentence answers which are quite pointless to any topic to do with relationships at all so i don't see why you felt the need to mention what you just did.

 

[sparkl3z]

about my share on relationships, i've only ever accepted one partner and we are now engaged, never had break ups with anybody or that kind of crap so please don't go there, i'm not saying i'm intelligent because i've had a successful relationship, but what i'm saying is don't try to tell me that i SEEM to know about relationships when i have a good example right before me ok? i'm only trying to help people out, some may like it, some may not....esp when i get a bit feminist and argue with guys like you but what can i do, that's just me.

 

[scarybunny]

i think some people that are saying he's within his rights to ask for petrol money have neglected to read that he said it cost $16 for a round trip from strathfield to bicentennial park via auburn, and charged her $10.

what the fuck is this guy on? i did the maths and it costs me $2.60 to drive from bossley park to lidcombe, which is much further than strat to bicent park. that was also based on city petrol usage (so the real price is prolly a little less) plus i drive a 4WD most of the time, and he probably drives something more fuel efficient.

it sounds like he's mooching off you. i could never date a moocher. everyone should expect to go 50/50 on any date they're on, and should not expect to pay inflated fuel prices.

 

[jhakka]

about my share on relationships, i've only ever accepted one partner and we are now engaged, never had break ups with anybody or that kind of crap so please don't go there, i'm not saying i'm intelligent because i've had a successful relationship, but what i'm saying is don't try to tell me that i SEEM to know about relationships when i have a good example right before me ok? i'm only trying to help people out, some may like it, some may not....esp when i get a bit feminist and argue with guys like you but what can i do, that's just me.

"guys like you"

That makes me laugh, if only for the fact that you have no idea what kind of guy I am, and I think that by taking part in a relationship that is equal (ie: the girl will not let me pay for things for her regularly, she offers to help with petrol, etc), that I am more in favour of women than those who, as waf (I think) said, are encouraging a condescending view of male and female roles in a relationship.

Present as many viewpoints as you like, but it doesn't help when what you say is totally irrelevant to the topic at hand.

Please do not go on about functioning relationships. I have been in one for two and a half years with no breakups, and so on, so don't try to pull that card on me. The only difference between what I can gather about your relationship (from what posts of yours I have read) and mine is that my girlfriend doesn't insist that the relationship is just about her.

All that aside, congrats on the engagement.

 

[sparkl3z]

lol thanks but*rolls eyes* about the i care just about myself part. i didnt insist it was just about me, all i insisted is that if the guy is just using the girl in this case, for money, then why should she let him do that? otherwise if it was on normal conditions, ofcourse sharing is most important, but 2 months and he's asking for money, so i think she should think her situation through and consider all options, after all, relating to what i said before, there are many bad relationships these days so careful thought might lessen the amount of people being hurt.

 

[Cykologi_gal]

I had a huge confrontation with him the other night...I keep thinking something fishy's going on but at the same time I don't want to hurt him by suspecting him...

That's not the point though - what I'm MAAAAAD about is the fact that the question's being asked...and the expectation that I "SHOULD" "help" him by paying my "bit".

It's against the social norm/protocol/etiquette really, it's not even a far distance, and far out, who else here - Girls - have guys who wouldn't drive them home "free of charge"?!

This is barking mad.

If I have to put it bluntly - it's so out of question - it's outrageous and in a way, rude and...as if he doesn't know the "rules".

I'm not tight or stingy...but the whole situation's sent me to the boiling point. I don't think it's a matter of being equal anymore, it's not a matter of "letting the guy get something out of the relationship and enjoy it as much as the girl" anymore. There's no place for being down to the cent (even though he states that it's fair), or to mention an amount which I think (now) is a bit weird...or worse and more to the point, care so much abt the financial factor when it's not necessary (the distance) to the situation.

We're together, it's only logical that I'm not charged for us going to places (themselves only) or being sent home - this is not saying that girls only think of themselves or that they're selfish - it's more like, paying for the fuel is beside the point - like, you can't find a bone inside the eggshell. I'd do that for a roadtrip though.

 

[bernz]

malfoy... hates kids, occasionally lives with bf, did MH and mus with me last year?


back to CG's topic.

I don't like the way this guy's treating you. Money shouldn't have to be discussed in a relationship, especially when it's still in its early stages as yours is. My bf and I have been going out for the better part of 1.5 years and we've probably only discussed money 4 or 5 times max... and only once has it been a serious money talk. I think you have to weigh things up... how much you like this guy vs. what he's asking of you and decide if it's worth spending that little bit more and keeping the relationship or not.

 

[bernz]

that would be the one! I think you'll find that the original poster also went to our school too.

Ah, knew that one by the jersey name!!