Critique my essay please. (1 Viewer)

[lyounamu]

*shrug*
My teachers been marking for the past 6 years. I'm just regurgitating what she and Karen Yager said to about 300 kids at a lecture.
There are clear marking guidelines. If you are not showing an articulated and well crafted essay that indicates a hollistic understanding, you cannot get out of certain bands. Its very objective at times in that the marking guides tell the marker what you should be doing to acheive top marks.

No, by synthesing I mean making connections and supporting your thesis conceptually. Not just "Imaginative journeys are about discovery.

Text A IJ

Text B IJ

Text C IJ"

Instead,

"Imaginative journeys are about self discovery.

One aspect of self discover explored in imaginative journey text is blah blah. In blah blah and blah blah, you can see whatever. techniques, examples, effects, drive home the aspect of journey.

Rinse repeat".

I agree with you. Synthesising will definitely get someone a better mark. May be I was just wrong to have argued the norms.

 

[sonyaleeisapixi]

If your modules question asks for two texts only, it is best to highlight the concept you are talking about in each paragraph and then talk about your two texts in conjunction with each other.

However, for the AOS where some people will be talking about up to 4 texts (2 poems from the prescribed anthology, and two supplementary texts), I would really recommend talking about all texts separately, "linked" by certain linking sentences or paragraphs which discuss texts in conjunction. This is because talking about four texts will become exceedingly convoluted, and what you often get is a poorly structured mess.

Of course, I can't say that my opinion is the right one. But my teacher has been a HSC marker for many years, and she advised this... so has my tutor, who actually teaches teachers how to mark the AOS at the HSC marking centres. So yes, they've had a large impact on my approach to AOS.

True, but thats still synthesising. Theres no clear cut method, but as a general rule..

Great advice though from this dude. I rate it.

 

[sonyaleeisapixi]

I agree with you. Synthesising will definitely get someone a better mark. May be I was just wrong to have argued the norms.

Had to be an individual did you namu?
=d

I was probably going for the throat with my responses, don't take it personal. I love you XD

 

[Zephyrio]

True, but thats still synthesising. Theres no clear cut method, but as a general rule..

Great advice though from this dude. I rate it.

You must synthesise if you wish to attain the top bands in advanced English.

Sorry about the misunderstanding, Sonya. <3

you may synthesise in any way you wish.

 

[sonyaleeisapixi]

You must synthesise if you wish to attain the top bands in advanced English.

Sorry about the misunderstanding, Sonya. <3

you may synthesise in any way you wish.

Hahahaha. This is possible the best post evarrrrr


=D!

 

[CSundstrom]

Synthesising is all well and good in advanced, but in extension you must go further to achieve full marks.

You must articulate the marriage between context, values and conventions within your synthesised analysis.

E.g.

Text X uses [convention + effect] and it exemplifies the value of [value] manifestly derived from [context, eg Romantic Movement]. Similarly, in Text Y, [convention] is employed to prescribe the similar values. Thus as both texts differ in context, their values transcend time and cultural bounds.

 

[sonyaleeisapixi]

Synthesising is all well and good in advanced, but in extension you must go further to achieve full marks.

You must articulate the marriage between context, values and conventions within your synthesised analysis.

E.g.

Text X uses [convention + effect] and it exemplifies the value of [value] manifestly derived from [context, eg Romantic Movement]. Similarly, in Text Y, [convention] is employed to prescribe the similar values. Thus as both texts differ in context, their values transcend time and cultural bounds.

Agreed.

Extensions very different from advanced though, so we articulated Advanced only seeing as that was the level the present essay was writen for.