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Critique my Major Work? Last minute major change! (2 Viewers)

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Real good of you -tal- for going to so much effort to help *thumbs up*

I read a bit more of your draft, not all of it sorry :( it's looking good except with your tenses, you switch between past and present tense quite a lot. I'm having the same problem as well, and im fixing it right now

Again GoodLuckies :)
 

Nekojin

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Thanks everyone, and Tal especially for all the feedback. The stuff you talked about with it being actionless were picked up by my teachers and I as well, so I'm working on incorporating the story back into an earlier draft and fixing up that middle section. Gonna end up with some of the fantasy stuff back in. o.o

Thank you all, your feedback really, really helped.
 

-tal-

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lol it's ok, if you need more feedback I'm just a post away...

If not, then gl with your hsc.
 

Lachlandavis

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ZOMG! I just scanned through this! This was the same idea i had for my origional plan! My first story was to do something based on the 5 stages of dying!

You are so lucky i changed my story, otherwise we both would have looked un original ;)
 

jamesboyd9

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Classic Rudiger said:
wow
Nekojin.
if you're stilll nervous about the fact its unfinished and your reflection statement needs to be changed, the be reassured by the fact I still have 1500 words of my final short story to write and a reflection statement.
mines due Friday.
good luck anyone doing it.
specially if you're in my situation.
hi five!
 

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