BradCube said:
I can only hope and pray that if God really does want me to continue in Christianity, that He reveal something dramatic as soon as possible.
In my own experiences God only reveals revelations unto those who already believe. It sounds crazy right? Screaming
"prove you exist" at the most powerful being in the universe. You'll get a biological response alright. Probably a cold shiver, but nothing more.
I'm either insane or there is a God out there. I came to that conclusion after my own experiences with God. I've experienced God, it was as physical as it was spiritual, and just recalling on those memories brings back a part of the experience.
For if God does not provide or reveal an answer, am I truly the one responsible for my inability to hold Christianity?
I think I know the answer to your predicament. What you're asking is for God to reveal an answer, but that's just it. God is the answer.
As an aside, I'm currently wondering whether it is even possible for a God to create a being with true free will. How would a God go about this, and how do we know that this is not what the Christian God has already done.
After spending much time thinking, I've seen that not all my actions have been based on either reason or impulse. Sometimes it's something else, something I can't explain. I consider that free will. It's very marginal, but it's what counts.
For instance have you ever walked past something that smelt pleasant and for no reason whatsoever went back to smell it? Have you ever done anything for the sake of it? Have you ever walked passed a homeless person and for no reason whatsoever, even though you barely noticed them you went back give them some money?
We have free will.
Why is it when you've done something good you want people to know? You don't particularly want them to think you're a good person. You don't particularly want to show you're a better person than them. You don't think they're judging you. But then why do you want them to know?
Because whether we know it or not. That's our free will. That's our way of acknowledging you could have not done the right thing, yet you did and rightfully you want credit for it. And you will get credit for it. On judgement day.