i do believe you need ur dose of quotes and such
Dr. Cameron: You asking me to go with you?
House: Sure. Sounds good.
Dr. Cameron: Like a…date?
House: Exactly. Except for the “date” part.
House: You see, kidneys don’t wear watches. Sure, gallbladders do, but it doesn’t matter, ‘cause kidneys can’t tell time.
Lola: He drops a clean urine, denies using steroids, then you’re giving him a drug (lupra) for what, steroid abuse?
House: No, no, it’s not. It - it’s got calcium in it. It’s very good for the bones. Basically, on a molecular level, it’s just milk.
House:See? Steroid use shrinks the testicles.
Hank: I am clean, man - no steroids, no nothing.
House: Your lips say no, your prunes say yes.
House: 5 p.m., Dr. House checks out.
Cuddy: It’s 4:45.
House: I was rounding up.
House: Go ask him what he’s on. When he says nothing, have him pee in a cup.
House: But I had three reasons.
Dr. Cuddy: Good ones?
House: Well, lets see in a minute - I'm just making them up now.
Dr. Cuddy: You put him on lupra.
House: Uh-huh.
Dr. Cuddy: And you told him it was like milk?
House: Yes.
Dr. Cuddy: Is there any way in which that is not a lie?
House: It's creamy.
House: ‘Hypo-gonadism'. Ain't that a great word? Thanks - we don't get to say it enough.
Patient #2: I can't get my contact lenses out.
House: Out of what - they're not in your eyes.
Patient #2: They're red.
House: That's because you're trying to remove your corneas.
House: All life is equally sacred. And I promise you, the next knitting injury that comes in here, we're on it like stink on cheese.
Lola: You have a big "keep out' sign stapled on your forehead.
House: That explains it. I told them to put it on my door.
(about Foreman's girlfriend)
House: The groupies sleep with the roadies to get to Mick.
Dr. Foreman: And you're...Mick?
House: That was the metaphor I was making, yes.
Dr. Cameron: She buys lunches - she doesn't...
House: Don't worry, you're not gay. You're...adventurous.
House: Hank Wiggen peed on me. What do you think these pants are worth on E-bay?
Dr. Chase: House says you were lying - I believe him.
Dr. Foreman: What's that - you got a little wet smudge on the end of your nose...
House: Do you like monster trucks?
Dr. Cameron: I don't know what they are...
House: You're religious.
Dr. Cameron: You have to be religious to believe the fetus is alive?
House: There seems to be a correlation.
House: Fine. I'll ask one of my other friends.
Dr. Wilson: Huh.
House: What? Are you saying I've only got one friend.
Dr. Wilson: Who?
House: Kevin. In Bookkeeping.
Dr. Wilson: Okay, well first of all, his name is Carl.
House: I call him Kevin. It's his secret friendship club name.
House: These tickets are so good, we have to sign a release. I mean it - we do this, we could die!
House: Let's not ruin a lovely night out by getting personal.
House: You take a perverse pleasure in turning me down.
Dr. Cuddy: What I live for. Once in a while, though, try to ruin my day. Ask me something I can say "yes" to.
Lola: Get another explanation.
House: Yeah, I have one in my other pants.
House: Which brings me to my fourth reason.
Dr. Cuddy: I thought you said there were only three?
House: I thought you'd buy one of them.
House: A very noble gesture. My favorite kind. Dramatic, but completely empty.
House: True love. That's just how we match organs these days. There's a couple in France - childhood sweethearts. They're trading brains.