Well, i dont know where to start so ill start from the beginning...sorry if this gets long....
So i do air cadets right, and i was friends with this guy there for a while. We kept getting closer and a couple of weeks ago, we went out on a date and we just clicked, and we are so hopelessly in love now. Hes my first boyfriend and im his first girlfriend and ive never felt like this about anyone before. I see him at cadets but we cant do anything there coz theres rules and we dont wanna get kicked out...especially coz hes higher rank than me, and im trying to get promoted. Every second apart from him kills me and he feels the same way. Our parents dont know, but we go behind their backs...they dont suspect a thing, if they knew we would both be dead.(strict parents :S)
Anyway, ive also just stared the HSC course at school, and ive been planning and preparing myself since year 10 for the HSC. My first assessment was physics and i couldnt get him off my mind....so i screwed that up. Ive had english and a legal assessment and i think i screwed those up soooo bad too
. Im usually a good student and ever since ive been with him ive dropped my standard in school, even though i care alot about how well i do. its like nothing else matters in the world than being with him. If he knew he affected me this way it would kill him too...
I want to be with him, but i want to do well in HSC too.
I probably sound like an idiot, A month ago if i read this same post from someone else i would be thinking something like 'this girls a dumbass, putting a boy before school blah...schools more important, she doesent know what love is...what a moron....she shouldnt see him anymore blah blah' ... but i dont know whats happened to me!
Can anyone else relate?
Can anyone offer advice?
Can anyone recommend a counsilor?
Have i screwed up my hsc?
What do i do???