if ur bf/gf was a player (1 Viewer)

[Not-That-Bright]

I hate bursting bubbles...but what world do you live in? If they've "cheated twice" they're going in the stay-away-from pile? hahahaha

Dude, this is someone who has purposefully cheated on another person while saying they are in love with some poor guy just like you, and they've done it TWICE. It's about protecting yourself from heartache, I dunno what world you live in, but I know heaps of girls who haven't cheated on anyone ever, why the hell would I risk it going out with this two-time cheater? Sure, I may love them, but in this sort of situation you need to put your head before your dick and save yourself some heartbreak.

I'd rather be with somebody that made me happy, rather than even thinking about that shit.

Well you don't have to think about it, but It makes fair enough sense that if you do think about it you might not keep going out with cheaters?

How do you even know they've cheated twice? You're getting to know them, in what is becoming a relationship, and either they tell you, or you hear from somebody else, you'd just drop them for that?

When someone has cheated on someone, it's not like some completely private thing, the person whom was cheated on (unless they get back together), will probably rant and rave to their friends etc. As you were going out together, your friend circles probably are all at least slightly connected. You will find out, and it will be trustworthy.

Let me just take a wild guess, but if you're in a relationship and you kiss somebody else, you'd term that cheating, right? *sigh*

No of course not, but I wouldn't want my girlfriend passionately kissing some other guy.. I mean I'm not going to passionately kiss other girls. The type of relationship I am interested in (and I think most people in this thread) involves two people, whom have agreed to a mutual relationship where you do not do sexual acts with others... If you prefer 'looser' relationships than that's cool, your girlfriend can go around passionately kissing guys, and you can go around passionately kissing girls, and maybe there won't be any fights or anything. Personally I don't want that, I want just a girl and I want myself to be the only romantically involved guy in her life =/

As for if my gf did passionately kiss some guy, it wouldn't be a break up thing, but it would make me pissed off and i'd at least want an appology or something? If she continued to go around passionately kissing everyone I would assume she doesn't want the same relationship as me and call it off (assuming i'm not blind).

edit: haha I thought you asked if I would break up with a girl if she kissed somebody... not if it's cheating.

As I said above, if you are in the type of relationship where both of you deem that ok, then sure thing. Personally I believe kissing (usually a somewhat passionate act) hurts a monogamous relationship, and continual attacks of this kind on this relationship will lead to a breakup.

I don't agree with cheating, I have never cheated, I have never stayed with somebody who has cheated on me, but what somebody does in the past is HISTORY, make your own relationship, define yourselves through each other, together.

Habbitual cheating is not history, it is a part of that persons persona, right now, that does not simply go away when you enter into a relationship with them. It is an issue that needs to be addressed and not ignored.

 

[ur_inner_child]

oh man

everyone just leave the thread right now

not-that-bright has kicked so much ass, anyone to debate him would be a damned fool.

 

[Baiku]

Last time i checked it sure was, it not only betrays the trust of the person, it betrays the feelings, the bond and the physical aspects of the relationship.

There is nothing to suggest that kissing breaks your bond with one person, and creates a unique bond with another person. Kissing, along with any other sexual activity, means whatever you want it to mean to yourself, and to a person you're in a relationship with.

If you go out and kiss somebody, but at the end of the day you're still emotionally attached to somebody else, I don't necessarily agree that you've "cheated them". How have you cheated them, what have you cheated them out of? You still want to be with them after all.

Furthermore, there are ALWAYS circumstances...always.

Dude, this is someone who has purposefully cheated on another person while saying they are in love with some poor guy just like you, and they've done it TWICE.

Yes - And I'm saying I don't give a fuck, and I'm suggesting that you make some realisations about human nature, and accept that "cheating" - or your version of it anyway - is pretty common place in society for people in a non-commited relationship - ie living together / marriage.

You don't have to love somebody to be dating them. You don't have to be dating people exclusively. I know that you would all have a problem now with a guy dating two girls and kissing both of them. Wow...who gives a fuck?

(I also reject the poor guy notion...)

When someone has cheated on someone, it's not like some completely private thing, the person whom was cheated on (unless they get back together), will probably rant and rave to their friends etc.

That's because you, and your friends don't have lives. If somebody does cheat on you, and I hope they don't because I don't think it's fair, are you going to go and cry all over town? (or over the internet???) Just go out and do something better - be an adult and move on.

Habbitual cheating is not history, it is a part of that persons persona, right now, that does not simply go away when you enter into a relationship with them. It is an issue that needs to be addressed and not ignored.

We all have our "issues" that need to be addressed. If somebody's downfall is that they went out and fucked somebody outside of a relationship, fine...you don't just throw people away because of their "issues".

...I just think perhaps you are immature in caring so much about something that is a lot less relevent to your life than you make it out to be. In almost all circumstances, you're not going to be "in love" with somebody at this age, they're not going to break your heart or ruin your life.

 

[Baiku]

oh man

everyone just leave the thread right now

not-that-bright has kicked so much ass, anyone to debate him would be a damned fool.

I agree that it is foolish to debate with someone who has such a different (politely) view on things...but I'd hardly say I'm convinced to agree with the "passionately kissing my girlfriend" argument from somebody who's girlfriend (has there ever been a girlfriend) obviously hasn't ever cheated on him before...what experience do you draw on...or are you just not that bright

 

[AlleyCat]

ladies and gentlemen i think we have a new L+R expertoire...



...or maybe just the specialist on players, cheating and "passionate kisses"

 

[Not-That-Bright]

I'd hardly say I'm convinced to agree with the "passionately kissing my girlfriend" argument from somebody who's girlfriend (has there ever been a girlfriend) obviously hasn't ever cheated on him before...what experience do you draw on...or are you just not that bright

- You've never had a girl cheat on you either?

So you don't believe that a person in a monogamous relationship kissing a person outside that relationship hurts it?

I don't think I have to write up some essay on my relationship experience or whatever, especially since on the net people can make up whatever the fuck they want. But I have put forward my view on things, either argue against the views or just shut up. Don't attack my character claiming i've never had a girlfriend etc.

Alleycat: You're just mad because I insult you for no reason

 

[AlleyCat]

Alleycat: You're just mad because I insult you for no reason

im not mad. im serious. you and dreamerish should battle it out, jell-o wrestling style.

although some of your insults are rather not nice, however i would laugh at them if they were directed at someone else.

as of now ill take it as a sign of playfulness. even when you call me a "piece of shit cunt slag on the end of your dick".

 

[Not-That-Bright]

hahaha u kno i'm just some random... the truth is the goofy smile on natalie portmans face in ur avatar makes me want to hastle you out for having it, it is just that simple

I just wanted to contribute to this thread because i had a bit of an opinion on it.

 

[Baiku]

- You've never had a girl cheat on you either?

So you don't believe that a person in a monogamous relationship kissing a person outside that relationship hurts it?

I don't think I have to write up some essay on my relationship experience or whatever, especially since on the net people can make up whatever the fuck they want. But I have put forward my view on things, either argue against the views or just shut up. Don't attack my character claiming i've never had a girlfriend etc.

Literacy issues?

I don't agree with cheating, I have never cheated, I have never stayed with somebody who has cheated on me

It's nothing to do with your character, I mean I don't think the world of you ~ but that has nothing to do with why I brought your inexperience up. The reason I did is because you can't talk a bunch of crap on an opinion that you didn't even generate yourself. Stereotypical bullshit from movies and books doesn't stand-up as real-life experience that justifies an argument.

You argue, you give evidence to support your argument. If your argument has no supporting evidence, you may as well not make that argument.

I could say right now..."78% of people don't mind being cheated on" ...And anyone with a clue immediately MUST think to themselves, where does this information come from, is it a reliable source, does it validate the argument being made? My point - Your evidence doesn't exist without experience.

At the end of the day, it doesn't really matter what you say, or what I say. I'm comfortable with my perspective on life, and hopefully your comfortable enough with yours to disregard everything I say. If you're not then perhaps you should consider what I've said and whether it is applicable to your life, or whether it could be in the future. Having a pissing contest about you not having a girlfriend really doesn't get anyone anywhere...

 

[AlleyCat]

hahaha u kno i'm just some random... the truth is the goofy smile on natalie portmans face in ur avatar makes me want to hastle you out for having it, it is just that simple

I just wanted to contribute to this thread because i had a bit of an opinion on it.

oi! call me what you like (you already have) but leave natalie out of it! i have a mini-crush on her, esp now that she in fact looks like a man...

and i think you made a lot of sense on the topic. im not hassling you.

 

[Not-That-Bright]

But see I have presented a theory, that cheating (through kissing) in a monogamous relationship hurts it. This is both from my own experience, and through seeing the experience of others. It is also analogically based on the idea that when you have an agreement, any breaking of that agreement usually strains the relationship between the people in agreement, however small. Beyond that I couple it with my understanding of agreements between close friends, and how that further seems to exacerbate how painful it is when an agreement isn't abided by.

Do you want to challenge that or are you going to continue to just say crap that doesn't relate to any of the points I put forward?

You also must realise that alot of basic theoretical arguments use analogical evidence, because that is the easiest way for us to create new ideas.

 

[Baiku]

But see I have presented a theory, that cheating (through kissing) in a monogamous relationship hurts it. This is both from my own experience, and through seeing the experience of others.

Do you want to challenge that or are you going to continue to just say crap that doesn't relate to any of the points I put forward?

I'd love to stay up all night and explain life to you, but I'm going to bed after this post.

You haven't "presented a theory" you have contended that kissing "hurts" a relationship and then refused to back that up with any evidence or examples that could justify your position on the issue.

I don't think kissing hurts a relationship, I don't think you have the experience to say that it does.

Your arguments consist of "Dude, this is someone who has purposefully cheated on another person while saying they are in love with some poor guy just like you" - why would I be obligated to refute any point such as that, that you put forward in validating my own argument? (Despite this I have done so for your benefit)

If/When you grow up, you go outside more, you meet a diverse range of people from different backgrounds, with different experiences, different lifestyles, you might realise that a very small fraction of the population is represented by your textbook model of "proper activities" of one who is in a relationship.

I wish I could make you look like like more of a fool over the internet, but honestly I can't. I'm probably wasted in trying to argue this, you could just admit that you're a nerd and I'd stop trying to argue with you on life-values that you clearly can't grasp?

 

[Not-That-Bright]

I'd love to stay up all night and explain life to you, but I'm going to bed after this post.

You are 18 and feel you have the authority to tell me that you can 'explain life' to me, you haven't even left highschool yet.

You haven't "presented a theory" you have contended that kissing "hurts" a relationship and then refused to back that up with any evidence or examples that could justify your position on the issue.

I don't think kissing hurts a relationship, I don't think you have the experience to say that it does.

I have presented evidence, and you haven't presented any evidence otherwise?

Your arguments consist of "Dude, this is someone who has purposefully cheated on another person while saying they are in love with some poor guy just like you" - why would I be obligated to refute any point such as that, that you put forward in validating my own argument? (Despite this I have done so for your benefit)

I am afraid I have not mastered the Ad Hominem argument style that you seem to have achieved. I will try tho.

If/When you grow up, you go outside more, you meet a diverse range of people from different backgrounds, with different experiences, different lifestyles, you might realise that a very small fraction of the population is represented by your textbook model of "proper activities" of one who is in a relationship.

Of course reality is much more complicated, with different forces, but it would be impossible for me to list all of these.

I wish I could make you look like like more of a fool over the internet, but honestly I can't. I'm probably wasted in trying to argue this, you could just admit that you're a nerd and I'd stop trying to argue with you on life-values that you clearly can't grasp?

Do you even listen to me or do you just go on declaring yourself 'teh internet WINNAR!' all the time?

 

[repz]

Well ill share my experience here anyways
i cheated on a ex once, me and this other girl kissed. it was a spare of the moment kinda thing. Me and my ex were on the verge of a break up, because most of our relationship we spent breaking up and getting back together, we barely talked, and saw each other. So basically it was practically over, it didn't give me a right to do what i did but it happened anyways.
i told her i cheated and broke up, even though she still wanted to be together because i felt guilty.

but nowaday's i know of quite a few people who are in the stage of "Seeing people"
and they see many guys/girls to see what they like about em, weighing up the pros and cons. they make out with more than one person and then choose which they like best
its all about finding the one? isn't it

 

[Not-That-Bright]

There is nothing to suggest that kissing breaks your bond with one person, and creates a unique bond with another person. Kissing, along with any other sexual activity, means whatever you want it to mean to yourself, and to a person you're in a relationship with.

Unfortunately that's hard to back up. If it is true, then why do people get upset? The reason is because im monogamous relationships there has been an agreement between the two people that they will only be romantic with each other.

If you go out and kiss somebody, but at the end of the day you're still emotionally attached to somebody else, I don't necessarily agree that you've "cheated them". How have you cheated them, what have you cheated them out of? You still want to be with them after all.

That's the problem, you've cheated them out of the agreement you had with each other that you would both be faithful to each other.

Yes - And I'm saying I don't give a fuck, and I'm suggesting that you make some realisations about human nature, and accept that "cheating" - or your version of it anyway - is pretty common place in society for people in a non-commited relationship - ie living together / marriage.

And i'm saying that divorces/break ups are also very common with people living together / in marriage. Perhaps the reason why is because people break their agreements with each other and cheat? I think i've proven that a kiss does strain most relationships (mainly monogamous, but I can put forward an argument for even the most liberal relationships if you want), so it doesn't take much to see that these actions do lead to pain and misery, even if they are 'common'.

You don't have to love somebody to be dating them. You don't have to be dating people exclusively. I know that you would all have a problem now with a guy dating two girls and kissing both of them. Wow...who gives a fuck?

Then you're not in a monogamous relationship, however outside of monogamous relationships people do still get hurt, because we do have natural connections to each other even if we say "I don't care".

That's because you, and your friends don't have lives. If somebody does cheat on you, and I hope they don't because I don't think it's fair, are you going to go and cry all over town?

When some chick cheats on you, are you telling me you won't go and tell all your friends?

We all have our "issues" that need to be addressed. If somebody's downfall is that they went out and fucked somebody outside of a relationship, fine...you don't just throw people away because of their "issues".

But this is an issue that paramountly does cause break ups and pain, so it's fairly important to take into consideration.

...I just think perhaps you are immature in caring so much about something that is a lot less relevent to your life than you make it out to be. In almost all circumstances, you're not going to be "in love" with somebody at this age, they're not going to break your heart or ruin your life.

I don't really believe in an emotion called 'Love', but I do believe that it hurts when someone cheats on you.

 

[Götterfunken]

What's a player?

 

[TheHarlequinMan]

if your gf/bf was a player before they met you.

Would you trust them? or presume they will go straight?


btw, has this topic been started before?

players only love you when they are playin girly....

 

["SHAKES"]

what are we defining as a player here?

 

[datAsianGuy]

what are we defining as a player here?

im asking the same question as Shakes

 

[Not-That-Bright]

A player seems to me to be the same as a cheater, but with a cooler name.