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Manners in today's society (1 Viewer)

P_Dilemma

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Do good manners still matter these days?

Of course. Good manners and politeness smooth the rough edges of being a human in a human society, because it's hard. Good manners give the impression that everyone respects everyone else, and makes life seem much better. Politeness can also work on the personal level; even if you are polite to an impolite person, you can feel good that you haven't sunk to the level of the impolite person.

Have we lost the art of good etiquette?

I wouldn't say lost, but perhaps there are situations where people are well mannered, and others where they are not. We are not polite all of the time. So it seems, when we see impolite people, we wonder "what's happening to etiquette?", whereas in fact there's nothing wrong with it, just that people are not using it as much, either as a matter of purpose, or they have lost their self-awareness or self-control.

Are manners the mark of a civilised society or just a stuffy set of outdated rules?

What we accept to be "manners" changes as times change, and as such can never be outdated. Therefore, yes, I must say they are an indication of a civilised society, which is indicative of the fact that the general population have good self-control; whether this is out of fear of punishment, or out of appreciation of one's neighbors is debatable.

Do/should manners be a feature of the workplace? Our relationships? Our home lives?

Manners are a feature of every situation that requires human interaction. As above, manners are a mark of "civilised society", not just a "civilised workplace" or relationship or whatever.

Are manners a generational issue?

No, perception of manners are, in general, similar no matter how many people are born... rather, it's a matter of maturity and education. Not just in schools, but if parents set a bad example, he child would naturally follow. If not the parents, then the child's peers, or other factors could be at play.

p__D
 

chicky_pie

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could SBS please hire REAL t.v presenters, most of them stutter while on camera...reporting news. :apig:


anyway, as for manner, i don't even know what the word means. :eek:
 

Cerry

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Do good manners still matter these days?
Yes. It's just that what's considered to be polite/impolite now is different to the past. I still say please and thank you (and for the record, we use please and thank you excessively in Australia, compared to other countries, like Germany), I let other people through doors before me (some days), I apologise for running into people.
I don't, however, see why I can't have my elbows on the table when I'm eating if it makes it easier for me to cut meat etc, and why people are so disgusted that I call my close friends' parents by their first names instead of Mr/Mrs.

Have we lost the art of good etiquette?
Depends a bit. People still move to the left of footpaths, hold doors for people, and that sort of thing.
My mum's got me trained to start from the outside and work my way in with cutlery, but I can't set a table with anything more than a knife, a spoon, a normal fork and a dessert fork. And I don't see the necessity for more than one fork, since I'll use the same fork for my salad and meat (if I even bother with a fork for my salad) and don't see the need for a dessert fork. Lots of my friends are the same.

Are manners the mark of a civilised society or just a stuffy set of outdated rules?
A bit of both. Apologising when you accidentally run into some one etc it civilised. But there are other things that seem to be ridiculously outdated to me (can't think of any off the top of my head).

Do/should manners be a feature of the workplace? Our relationships? Our home lives?
They should, and in most cases, they are (not do). However, sometimes people go a little over the top. Like when people call me Madam/Miss etc. I have a perfectly good name, use it. And I'm only 17, Madam is an old lady term. If you MUST give me a title, it's Ms. Not Miss. Not Mrs. Ms.

Are manners a generational issue?
I think so. I say that things suck all the time, as do my parents. I once said it in front of my grandmother, and she nearly had a heart attack, because it was just so impolite.
Lots of people my age are happy to question their parents, which wouldn't happen in the past (although, I do know people who wouldn't dare do it now).
My friends and I call each other things like bitch-face as a sign of affection. Can't see any adults doing that.
 

Slidey

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fucking with their dopamine reuptake inhibiots fucking sbs

oh inteerestingly, etiqueette = fuck you when drunk
 

^CoSMic DoRiS^^

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Cerry said:
Do good manners still matter these days?
My friends and I call each other things like bitch-face as a sign of affection. Can't see any adults doing that.
that's very true, my mother nearly fainted the first time she heard me address a friend as "hey slut".
 

Stevo.

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lol. i tried that with my little sister and when my other sister found out she told me i'm moving in with my aunty and uncle in Bel-Air.
 

flappinghippo

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SBS Television said:
Hello,

I'm from the Insight program on SBS Television and we're interested in talking about MANNERS for an upcoming episode.

I'm interested to hear what young people think about this topic.

Do good manners still matter these days?
Have we lost the art of good etiquette?
Are manners the mark of a civilised society or just a stuffy set of outdated rules?
Do/should manners be a feature of the workplace? Our relationships? Our home lives?
Are manners a generational issue?

I'd love to hear your thoughts. You can post a response here or email me at kate.mayhew@sbs.com.au.

Yours in good manners,
Kate Mayhew

People are only polite and well mannered if they have something to lose by being a prick. ie, damage to reputations, certain financial situations, being ostracised, and others deter us from being a bastard to the waitress, the stranger, the employee. That's why so many rich, powerful people are so unpleasant.

Otherwise, all people (except Mother Theresa types, few and far between) are actually arseholes, just their situations call for tact and manners because rudeness results in harm.

I would imagine manners are becoming less influential in everyday life because we live in crowded cities amongst strangers, as opposed to more familiar, smaller settlements traditionally. Your reputation doesn't take a dive if you're rude to a random on the street because you'll never see that person again, in contrast to a small town where you're bound to bump into him again – it's just a sign of the times.

So I guess it would be a generational issue. But not because we're just inherently ruder.
 

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flappinghippo said:
all people (except Mother Theresa types, few and far between) are actually arseholes, just their situations call for tact and manners because rudeness results in harm.
it's actually easier to be pleasant than to be rude, i think. even if there was nothing in it for you to be nice, wouldn't you feel like shit if you went around being an arsehole to everyone?
 

DeathB4Life

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i believe that manners still exist, though in a different form. rather than being a set of rules which are taught, they're now casual acts of politeness which people naturally pick up as they age.

the average young adult is less sensitive and generally harder to offend than those from the previous generation and due to that we're able to be more expressive towards each other. its not that we're ruder, its simply that we no longer consider certain acts to be disrespectful towards ourselves or others.

our culture is known for being casual and imo as long as youre showing respect to those around you then you're behaving appropriately. being forced to go out of our way to ensure we dont, in the slightest way possible, offend anyone at all is just a form of repression rather than manners.
 

Slidey

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flappinghippo said:
Otherwise, all people (except Mother Theresa types, few and far between) are actually arseholes, just their situations call for tact and manners because rudeness results in harm.
Not really.
 

miss-smexy

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Do good manners still matter these days?
Yes

Have we lost the art of good etiquette?

No. Depends what you define as 'good'. Decorum during Jane Austen's time is now outdated. Etiquette has simply evolved.

Are manners the mark of a civilised society or just a stuffy set of outdated rules?
All societies have rules. By 'civilised' I presume you're referring to Western society's rules? It's a subjective term. Manners defines culture, so it's not outdated.

Do/should manners be a feature of the workplace? Our relationships? Our home lives?
Yes. If you don't have manners during job interviews, it doesn't make too good of an impression. Males who have no manners = a turn off. Kids who have no manners aren't well taught.

Are manners a generational issue?
No, it's not an issue.
 

flappinghippo

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even if there was nothing in it for you to be nice, wouldn't you feel like shit if you went around being an arsehole to everyone?
That's why so many rich people live empty, unfulfilled lives, presumably. They generally don't care about what the commoner thinks of them, so they won't lose anything from acting rudely. And by everyone being arseholes, I mean behaviours toward strangers – that's what manners are.

So, I'm saying the overwhelming majority of people would be arseholes if they were rich.
 

Stevo.

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I'm poor and my attitude is, if you leave me alone, I'll leave you alone. Don't bother me, stay away from me. If I buy something and you give the appropriate service in a timely manner I will thank you, if not I won't.
 

P_Dilemma

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So... when is this particular episode of Insight going to be aired??

p__D
 

Slidey

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miss-smexy said:
Have we lost the art of good etiquette?
No. Depends what you define as 'good'. Decorum during Jane Austen's time is now outdated. Etiquette has simply evolved.

[...]

Are manners a generational issue?
No, it's not an issue.
Um. So how do you propose manners evolve, then?
 

miss-smexy

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Slidey said:
Um. So how do you propose manners evolve, then?
Lol I'm not sure how it's going to evolve but perhaps like Corey Worthington's.
 

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miss-smexy said:
Lol I'm not sure how it's going to evolve but perhaps like Corey Worthington's.
LOL i think the word you are looking for is regress, not evolve

that kid pisses me off so much, if i ever have kids i'm gonna bring them up uber-authoritarian like and they will learn music and do well at school and be model citizens with clean hair and shirts on. if i have a kid that turns out like corey worthington i'm gonna drown it in the creek for society's sake
/rant
 

poWerdrY

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flappinghippo said:
That's why so many rich people live empty, unfulfilled lives, presumably. They generally don't care about what the commoner thinks of them, so they won't lose anything from acting rudely. And by everyone being arseholes, I mean behaviours toward strangers – that's what manners are.

So, I'm saying the overwhelming majority of people would be arseholes if they were rich.
what you say may actually have some truth behind it. i read an article talking about how many accomplished CEO's, world leaders and successful people got that way for being cold, heartless psychopaths.

http://www.damninteresting.com/?p=936#more-936
 

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