M@ster P
Member
- Joined
- Feb 9, 2008
- Messages
- 619
- Gender
- Male
- HSC
- 2009
The parent trap - National - smh.com.au
My year 12 son thinks the HSC is all about him. It's not, of course. It's all about us, his parents. His final marks will be the proof that our strategies for raising him were right; that allowing him to watch television, play violent computer games and eat junk food have not hampered his ability to become a productive and valued member of society.
If he gets a creditable UAI, we will be able to point out, modestly, to other parents that we got it right; that success is possible without isolating a child from popular culture, or breastfeeding them until they are 10 or letting them consume white sugar.
Astonishingly, other parents believe their child-rearing techniques are better than ours or that their way is the only way.
There are the A-graders, academia's answer to entertainment's stage mums and dads. They are certain the only path to success is the opportunity class-selective high school-top university route and so their offspring spend every spare moment in out-of-school tutoring from year 4. Only when their progeny has graduated with a law-medicine degree can they relax and bask in the reflected glory of their child's achievements.
At the opposite end of the scale are the negligents: parents who can see no value in education and are contemptuous of academic success. "I didn't go to uni and it didn't do me any harm," they tell their kids. As a piece of inspired reverse psychology it is a risky technique, since your children could take you at your word and not even bother going to school. However, some children excel under such conditions, at which time their parents can humbly accept the congratulations of other parents with: "I don't know where she gets her brains from."
Most parents aren't looking much further ahead than university. Not so the social climbers. They are the folk who have mortgaged themselves to the hilt to pay the fees charged by certain private schools. They know that qualifications are no substitute for who you know. Their sacrifices are being made in the hope their children will be mixing with the next generation's James Packer and Lachlan Murdoch.
The most exclusive group, however, are the high-flying parents who have bred equally high-flying issue. These children take a path through school marked by awards, prefects' badges and the school captaincy. If they weren't so charming and charismatic you'd kill them.
With the exception of the high-flyers, none of these approaches guarantees a 99 UAI and so canny parents need to plan the spin: "She topped the state in Ceramics." No need to mention the Maths score.
One way to appear to be a successful parent is to opt out of the HSC altogether. No one knows what constitutes a good mark in the International Baccalaureate so, no matter what the result, you and your child will look sophisticated and clever respectively.
What children fail to understand is that parenting is a competition. The speed at which they cut teeth and walk shows how well they're being raised. The number of goals they score in sport and the weight of achievement certificates they bring home are proofs of concept. Exams are the ultimate demonstration of a parent's skill.
So in these last crucial months of HSC-boy's school career, we are encouraging him to study hard (trying not to arouse suspicion that we care deeply about his scores) and going easy on anything that might distract him from this task. We hope he thinks we're just being caring. If he knew our self esteem was riding on his performance he'd be busy negotiating a car in exchange for a good UAI.
Of course, if he does really badly, it'll be all his fault and have nothing to do with us.
lol parenting is a competition, no wonder asian parents take the hsc so seriously
My year 12 son thinks the HSC is all about him. It's not, of course. It's all about us, his parents. His final marks will be the proof that our strategies for raising him were right; that allowing him to watch television, play violent computer games and eat junk food have not hampered his ability to become a productive and valued member of society.
If he gets a creditable UAI, we will be able to point out, modestly, to other parents that we got it right; that success is possible without isolating a child from popular culture, or breastfeeding them until they are 10 or letting them consume white sugar.
Astonishingly, other parents believe their child-rearing techniques are better than ours or that their way is the only way.
There are the A-graders, academia's answer to entertainment's stage mums and dads. They are certain the only path to success is the opportunity class-selective high school-top university route and so their offspring spend every spare moment in out-of-school tutoring from year 4. Only when their progeny has graduated with a law-medicine degree can they relax and bask in the reflected glory of their child's achievements.
At the opposite end of the scale are the negligents: parents who can see no value in education and are contemptuous of academic success. "I didn't go to uni and it didn't do me any harm," they tell their kids. As a piece of inspired reverse psychology it is a risky technique, since your children could take you at your word and not even bother going to school. However, some children excel under such conditions, at which time their parents can humbly accept the congratulations of other parents with: "I don't know where she gets her brains from."
Most parents aren't looking much further ahead than university. Not so the social climbers. They are the folk who have mortgaged themselves to the hilt to pay the fees charged by certain private schools. They know that qualifications are no substitute for who you know. Their sacrifices are being made in the hope their children will be mixing with the next generation's James Packer and Lachlan Murdoch.
The most exclusive group, however, are the high-flying parents who have bred equally high-flying issue. These children take a path through school marked by awards, prefects' badges and the school captaincy. If they weren't so charming and charismatic you'd kill them.
With the exception of the high-flyers, none of these approaches guarantees a 99 UAI and so canny parents need to plan the spin: "She topped the state in Ceramics." No need to mention the Maths score.
One way to appear to be a successful parent is to opt out of the HSC altogether. No one knows what constitutes a good mark in the International Baccalaureate so, no matter what the result, you and your child will look sophisticated and clever respectively.
What children fail to understand is that parenting is a competition. The speed at which they cut teeth and walk shows how well they're being raised. The number of goals they score in sport and the weight of achievement certificates they bring home are proofs of concept. Exams are the ultimate demonstration of a parent's skill.
So in these last crucial months of HSC-boy's school career, we are encouraging him to study hard (trying not to arouse suspicion that we care deeply about his scores) and going easy on anything that might distract him from this task. We hope he thinks we're just being caring. If he knew our self esteem was riding on his performance he'd be busy negotiating a car in exchange for a good UAI.
Of course, if he does really badly, it'll be all his fault and have nothing to do with us.
lol parenting is a competition, no wonder asian parents take the hsc so seriously
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