Random Protips for life (2 Viewers)

[Iron]

slow and steady...

 

[Uncle]

Respect your elders

Very important.

 

[goony]

discarded pizza boxes are an inexpensive source of cheese.

 

[Silver Persian]

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you
succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Need to get better at this one.

But someone being older than I am doesn't make them worthy of my respect. Working in customer service makes you realise how many arrogant toerag old people there are.

 

[scarybunny]

Get over it. No good ever came from a grudge.

 

[Omie Jay]

Only respect those who respect you back.

 

[Planck]

Don't ever let your own self-worth be based on the opinions of others.

Think. Think solidly. Before you speak.

I'm still working on the second one.

 

[veruschka]

Do not throw a chalk duster up at rotating fans.

 

[gigglinJess]

Don't do anything just because everyone else is, stick to who you are.

Don't let your sense of self be based on other peoples judgements of you.

Never trust someone unless you have reason to, and even then be careful, especially with your heart.

 

[lychnobity]

Don't hang on to someone because you're afraid of being lonely.

Don't lie to yourself

Don't develop any addictions or obsessions

Don't take everything to heart

Listen to people, not hear them

Respect others' boundaries

Be patient

Unless your family is abusive, be good to your family.

​

 

[Darnie]

- The best defence is a good offence
- you can actually use your headphones as a microphone. Plug them into the microphone port, and speak into the left earphone. Check it, it usually works.
- tittyfucking isn't all its cracked up to be. even with large tits and lube.
- if you can't be fucked ironing, lift your matress, lay your clothes perfectly flat underneath, put the matress carefully back on, and when you wake up in the morning, you will have perfectly ironed clothes.
- If you have a brainfreeze, put your tongue on the roof of your mouth. If it's cold, use your thumb. A brainfreeze is actually the roof of your mouth getting cold.
- When life gives you lemons, sell the lemons and buy some sugar
- Human success is about consistency. Maintain your stride, don't over step it.
- You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- never take protips from women.
- When shopping, ask yourself: if this item cost $20 more than i'm paying for it, would i buy it? if the answer is no, put that shit back.
- Always match your shoes with your belt and wallet
- If stung by a be, brush the stinger out (don't grab it with your nails or squeeze it) and rub honey on the area.
- For a wasp or a hornet, cut open an onion and rub that on the sting.
- warm water hydrates you much quicker than cold water.
- On average, the kitchen sink it dirtier than the toilet bowl.
- So is the office desk
- When doing fishtails, and looking to exit the slide, do not drop the accelerator. It will cause your car to kick, and it won't always be in the direction you want to go.
- when dragging people off at the lights, the time between one set of lights going red and the other going green is 2 seconds, on a single or dual laned road.
- always use a condom.
- Always moderate your moderated drinking.

 

[Omie Jay]

↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → b a

 

[Arctopus]

 

[Uncle]

Do not throw a chalk duster up at rotating fans.

i did that one and it was funnee.

well at least i can dodge it.

 

[Daipire]

An old german proverb:
When life gives you lemons, burn them

From Forgetting Sarah Marshall:
When life gives you lemons say "fuck the lemons" and bail

A MMORPG reference:
When life gives you lemons you get a +2 Citric Attack

A Depressing proverb:
When life gives you lemons, just give up, what the fuck are you going to do with lemons? make your parents love you? get your girlfriend back? pay your debt? fat chance, screw you and your lemons, dickhead.







That's all i got, i actually made up that last two despite I don't play MMORGPs and I'm not depressed, to prove it, heres a bunch of smileys

 

[throwaway]

- The best defence is a good offence
- you can actually use your headphones as a microphone. Plug them into the microphone port, and speak into the left earphone. Check it, it usually works.
- tittyfucking isn't all its cracked up to be. even with large tits and lube.
- if you can't be fucked ironing, lift your matress, lay your clothes perfectly flat underneath, put the matress carefully back on, and when you wake up in the morning, you will have perfectly ironed clothes.
- If you have a brainfreeze, put your tongue on the roof of your mouth. If it's cold, use your thumb. A brainfreeze is actually the roof of your mouth getting cold.
- When life gives you lemons, sell the lemons and buy some sugar
- Human success is about consistency. Maintain your stride, don't over step it.
- You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- never take protips from women.
- When shopping, ask yourself: if this item cost $20 more than i'm paying for it, would i buy it? if the answer is no, put that shit back.
- Always match your shoes with your belt and wallet
- If stung by a be, brush the stinger out (don't grab it with your nails or squeeze it) and rub honey on the area.
- For a wasp or a hornet, cut open an onion and rub that on the sting.
- warm water hydrates you much quicker than cold water.
- On average, the kitchen sink it dirtier than the toilet bowl.
- So is the office desk
- When doing fishtails, and looking to exit the slide, do not drop the accelerator. It will cause your car to kick, and it won't always be in the direction you want to go.
- when dragging people off at the lights, the time between one set of lights going red and the other going green is 2 seconds, on a single or dual laned road.
- always use a condom.
- Always moderate your moderated drinking.

be the opposite to this guy and you should be able to talk to girls

 

[throwaway]

↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → b a

fuck, i meant this guy

 

[Enigmanation]

 

[Silver Persian]

-Do not trust men with strong jaws
-Ugly people cannot read maps

 

[loquasagacious]

-Do not trust men with strong jaws
-Ugly people cannot read maps

Why so jaw hate?

Did a strong jaw hurt you?