townie said:
In light of posts by _muse_ and others, i present customer rules
1. Dont tell me u left ur green bag in the car and expect me to laugh
2. Dont blame me when ur credit card wont scan thru because u've mangled it
3. ask for cash out BEFORE u've entered ur PIN
4. Query the price BEFORE ur signing the credit card slip
5. When i say 'would u like a bag?' make up ur mind in 5 seconds, and dont change it.
6. that buzzing noise, the one u hear when people walk in, that keeps on going if u DONT MOVE OUT OUT THE FUCKING DOORWAY
7. No, i dont know where every single product in the store is
8. No, we dont have infinite storage to magically have 2 cases of some obscure product.
9. Dont be suprised when ur not allowed in 15 minuters after the store has closed.
10. dont be suprised when i refuse 2 accept ur payment of $15 in 10c coins
ADD YOUR OWN
i am customer relations supervisor and i work at my family pizza shop which is why i CANT get fired for anything i do
My rules are as follows:
1- DONT fukin order delivery if u cannot afford to pay with cash, we do not take credit cards over the fone
NOR do we send our delivery driver with an eftpos machine.
2- DONT make mindless chit chatter when u can see that i am
PLAINLY STUDYING WITH THE FOLDER TITLED HSC CHEMISTRY MODULE 1
3- DONT look at me when i serve u and say
"what nashionality are u" INCASE u cant tell i have the
ALBANIAN FUKIN EAGLE around my neck. dumbasses
4- I DONT WEAR a namebadge Because i dont want to be
HARRASSED by stupid merrylands fuks that wen they see me they go "
OH HELLO FIONA".
5- Its not my fault u ordered a hawaiin with no ham and ended up with a cheese and fukin pineapple pizza. Farout.
6- Dont mock me over the phone when i cant hear wat u r saying. its not my fault u are a completed dumb, deaf and mute incoherant fuk.
7- If i give u $2.10 change and my tip jar is there, dont drop the 10 cents and say
"u need it more than i do".
NO I DONT. i drive a fukin brand new beamer. chances are u need it more than me dikhead.
8- DONT walk past my shop and gawk at the menu at the front, walk in then see the prices and walk out,
THE PRICES ARE ON THE MENU OUTSIDE MORON.
9- DONT call me pet names like "
darling" and "
sweetie"
10- If u chose to eat in my restaurant. Please be considerate and
DONT EAT like a fukin animal. I do not like mopping up orange juice and coke that ur partner spilt on the floor cause they eat like animals.
11- DONT ABUSE me when ur pizza is not ready in 15 minutes.
I DO NOT make them and i frankly do not give a fuk.
12- If i apologise to u for lateness or some other reason, have the courtesy to look me in the eye and say
"thats ohk" even if u dont mean it. Dont chuck a hissy fit and say "
Im going to dominos" cause ur a fukin adult and i'll just say
"GO TO DOMINOS WE DONT NEED U".
13- when u ask for the manager and i say "
i am it" dont look at me weird and say
"i want one over 18". Im probably more mature than u spastic.
14- Dont bargain with me for the prices. even if ur meal comes to ten dollars and five cents. i
WILL make u pay ten dollars and five cents. We are not the
GOOD GUYS where u pay less for cash.
15- Dont ring up and complain saying "
Awwwwww my pizzas cold" then wen i say we will give u a new one, we will just pick up the cold pizza and you say
"awwwwwww we ate it already" then obviously u fat fuk it wasnt cold and u just want another pizza.
CHEAPSKATE.