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Rules for Customers (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter townie
- Start date
lourai*87
~"*_*"~
I work at kmart...Scanorama said:
BlackDragon
Active Member
I work at coles. Our [unofficial] rules for customers:
1. No kids. Ever.
2. Do not leave your trolleys in the middle of the isles.
3. Do not stand in our way for long periods of time looking at the products aimlessly when we need to stock something of the shelves.
4. Know what the hell you want to ask us before you start.
5. For god's sake do not just leave a product on the nearest shelf if you don't want it anymore. SOMEONE HAS TO PUT IT BACK.
6. Don't be rude and expect every product to be there for you at all times.
7. If you want something from the catalogue bring it in with you so we know what you are talking about.
8. Thank us when we go fetch something from the depths of our back room for you.
9. Don't ask us to open more registers - We open as many as we can at all times.
10. Don't (after asking for more registers to be open) get all annoyed and proceed to take your whole trolley into the 12 items or less register. (This has happened before)
11. Don't drop a whole tub of yoghurt onto your foot so we have to clean the whole isle up as well as your foot. (lol that happened yesterday..)
12. Don't ask someone from say, dairy, to get some obscurely unknown product that is not in our department about which we know nothing!
13. Speak clearly. We can't get anything if we don't understand you.
14. Don't take a product which will make the rest of the products above it collapse.
15. And finally, just be nice, thankful and polite.
And once again, no kids! argh. they just noisy, annoying and mess everything up.
But number 5 is the key really.
1. No kids. Ever.
2. Do not leave your trolleys in the middle of the isles.
3. Do not stand in our way for long periods of time looking at the products aimlessly when we need to stock something of the shelves.
4. Know what the hell you want to ask us before you start.
5. For god's sake do not just leave a product on the nearest shelf if you don't want it anymore. SOMEONE HAS TO PUT IT BACK.
6. Don't be rude and expect every product to be there for you at all times.
7. If you want something from the catalogue bring it in with you so we know what you are talking about.
8. Thank us when we go fetch something from the depths of our back room for you.
9. Don't ask us to open more registers - We open as many as we can at all times.
10. Don't (after asking for more registers to be open) get all annoyed and proceed to take your whole trolley into the 12 items or less register. (This has happened before)
11. Don't drop a whole tub of yoghurt onto your foot so we have to clean the whole isle up as well as your foot. (lol that happened yesterday..)
12. Don't ask someone from say, dairy, to get some obscurely unknown product that is not in our department about which we know nothing!
13. Speak clearly. We can't get anything if we don't understand you.
14. Don't take a product which will make the rest of the products above it collapse.
15. And finally, just be nice, thankful and polite.
And once again, no kids! argh. they just noisy, annoying and mess everything up.
But number 5 is the key really.
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P
pLuvia
Guest
I have to agree on thisNakashima said:
Also with paying eftpos/credit whatever, when someone confirms with you which type you are using don't be a dickhead and get pissed, you'll get pissed if we get it wrong.
And when buying newspapers be patient and wait in the queue instead of handing us the money and running while we are serving a customer, this point is mainly directed to the asians!
Re: Newsagents
townie
Premium Member
yes i would....cause i know how annoying it isfnkychk said:
Tete-De-Chou
New Member
Coles:
-Do NOT eat fruit you have just picked up from fruit and veg while in the store, eat it, then put the remains on the counter and give me dumb looks when I ask you how exactly I am suppose to give you a price for the item, seeing as mostly fruit goes by freaking weight!
-Do not try and scan the items for me.
-Don't just dump your basket on the counter and look pointedly at me. I'm not your slave.
-If I accidently scan an item twice, and delete one of them so it shows up a s $0, don't laugh like a little girl and say "Oh hehehe! I like that price!"
-Lay your freaking bottles down! Do not bitch to me about how your excessive amount of Coke bottles will now be flat b/c you stood them up and the conveyer belt's motion knocked them over. Same goes for olive oil.
-Don't line up in the non-express lane with three items on a busy day with a long queue, then have a go at me b/c "You've been waiting in line for half an hour for a block of butter". It's called express lane.
-Don't tell me you have green bags but you always forget them. Telling me isn't going to ease your conscience.
-Don't ask me if you can buy cigarettes from the registers. Do I look freaking 18?
-Don't bitch about having to pay to use a trolley. You get your money back in the end, don't whine about it! Would you rather them in the bottom of the lake?
-Furthermore on trolleys, don't get the ones without the coin slot, with the baby seat instead just so your bread doesn't get squashed. Screw you, if you do that I make sure I put your bread under the watermelon.
-If you want to return an item, b/c you no longer wish to purchase it, don't leave it in the basket which your too lazy to even put back where it belongs. Give it to me! Especially if it's liable to smell, or from dairy or deli.
-Please don't put your 7 y.o in the trolley baby seat.
-Don't come through express with 30 items.
-Don't even think about saying "You look bored so I'll come and visit you/Awwwww, you're waiting for me? Hawhaw haw!" Geez. Frreaking. Comedy. Gold.
-Don't tell me how to do my job.
-Don't lean on the screen and check me out. Just don't.
-Don't freaking ask me if I can steal you a christmas uniform.
- Don't accuse me of being hungover! Screw you arsehole! I had spent the previous night ice-skating catching up with friends I haven't seen in ages, and now my legs are killing me. Don't even hint at Berocca.
-Don't tell me what vegetables are. I know what the hell a green capsicum is. Same goes when I pick up the phone for a price check.
-Don't start on a rant with me about how I always say I am good, if on an off chance a customer asks how I am. Be glad I'm not telling you all my problems!
-Don't expect me to be on your side when the nice customer I am serving gets offended by your lame pick up line. You fugly man. Don't insult people you want to screw.
-Don't mispronounce my name. I am NOT called Irene.
-Do NOT swear and curse loudly. If I swore you would have a right tantrum about it and complain.
-If I ask if you have flybuys, under no circumstances do you say "No I hate flying". Again. Boom boom ching.
-Do not talk to me about naked people and panties. You are old and seedy, and I don't like you.
-Read the bloody price tag. Just b/c it is near a ticket that says "$6.95" doesn't mean it is.
-Do not ask how I celebrated (insert latest public holiday here). Especially Australia Day and any commericialised religious events. You're just in it for the presents.
-Green bags at the START of the transaction, please. And make sure they are clean damn it. And don't ask for a plastic bag to put your meat in to put in the bag.(I like green bags )
-On a happy note, cheers for the young lady who heard my stiffled, cough-like sneeze, asked whether I had just sneezed and said "bless you". Simple things like that make you feel so much better, especially in bad shifts.:wave:
-Don't tell me the shelves need restocking. You think I haven't been told by every other customer?
-Don't make racist/rude/sexist/etc comments and expect me to smile.
-Don't get huffy b/c you have to wait to get a note exchanged for coins for a trolley.
-Don't repeat what I say.
-Don't bitch about other customers to me.
Kitchen Hand at Youth Camp:
-Do not compare the plates to see what plate has the most food on it. Just take a plate and bugger off.
-Do NOT eat fruit you have just picked up from fruit and veg while in the store, eat it, then put the remains on the counter and give me dumb looks when I ask you how exactly I am suppose to give you a price for the item, seeing as mostly fruit goes by freaking weight!
-Do not try and scan the items for me.
-Don't just dump your basket on the counter and look pointedly at me. I'm not your slave.
-If I accidently scan an item twice, and delete one of them so it shows up a s $0, don't laugh like a little girl and say "Oh hehehe! I like that price!"
-Lay your freaking bottles down! Do not bitch to me about how your excessive amount of Coke bottles will now be flat b/c you stood them up and the conveyer belt's motion knocked them over. Same goes for olive oil.
-Don't line up in the non-express lane with three items on a busy day with a long queue, then have a go at me b/c "You've been waiting in line for half an hour for a block of butter". It's called express lane.
-Don't tell me you have green bags but you always forget them. Telling me isn't going to ease your conscience.
-Don't ask me if you can buy cigarettes from the registers. Do I look freaking 18?
-Don't bitch about having to pay to use a trolley. You get your money back in the end, don't whine about it! Would you rather them in the bottom of the lake?
-Furthermore on trolleys, don't get the ones without the coin slot, with the baby seat instead just so your bread doesn't get squashed. Screw you, if you do that I make sure I put your bread under the watermelon.
-If you want to return an item, b/c you no longer wish to purchase it, don't leave it in the basket which your too lazy to even put back where it belongs. Give it to me! Especially if it's liable to smell, or from dairy or deli.
-Please don't put your 7 y.o in the trolley baby seat.
-Don't come through express with 30 items.
-Don't even think about saying "You look bored so I'll come and visit you/Awwwww, you're waiting for me? Hawhaw haw!" Geez. Frreaking. Comedy. Gold.
-Don't tell me how to do my job.
-Don't lean on the screen and check me out. Just don't.
-Don't freaking ask me if I can steal you a christmas uniform.
- Don't accuse me of being hungover! Screw you arsehole! I had spent the previous night ice-skating catching up with friends I haven't seen in ages, and now my legs are killing me. Don't even hint at Berocca.
-Don't tell me what vegetables are. I know what the hell a green capsicum is. Same goes when I pick up the phone for a price check.
-Don't start on a rant with me about how I always say I am good, if on an off chance a customer asks how I am. Be glad I'm not telling you all my problems!
-Don't expect me to be on your side when the nice customer I am serving gets offended by your lame pick up line. You fugly man. Don't insult people you want to screw.
-Don't mispronounce my name. I am NOT called Irene.
-Do NOT swear and curse loudly. If I swore you would have a right tantrum about it and complain.
-If I ask if you have flybuys, under no circumstances do you say "No I hate flying". Again. Boom boom ching.
-Do not talk to me about naked people and panties. You are old and seedy, and I don't like you.
-Read the bloody price tag. Just b/c it is near a ticket that says "$6.95" doesn't mean it is.
-Do not ask how I celebrated (insert latest public holiday here). Especially Australia Day and any commericialised religious events. You're just in it for the presents.
-Green bags at the START of the transaction, please. And make sure they are clean damn it. And don't ask for a plastic bag to put your meat in to put in the bag.(I like green bags
)-On a happy note, cheers for the young lady who heard my stiffled, cough-like sneeze, asked whether I had just sneezed and said "bless you". Simple things like that make you feel so much better, especially in bad shifts.:wave:
-Don't tell me the shelves need restocking. You think I haven't been told by every other customer?
-Don't make racist/rude/sexist/etc comments and expect me to smile.
-Don't get huffy b/c you have to wait to get a note exchanged for coins for a trolley.
-Don't repeat what I say.
-Don't bitch about other customers to me.
Kitchen Hand at Youth Camp:
-Do not compare the plates to see what plate has the most food on it. Just take a plate and bugger off.
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scarybunny
Rocket Queen
- Joined
- Nov 7, 2004
- Messages
- 3,820
- Gender
- Female
- HSC
- 2005
Oh god one time I was at Coles and these freaking old ladies in front of me didn't know how to shop.
The reason the express lane is taking so long is because you dumb bitches aren't unpacking your baskets while waiting, you're making the poor checkout girl do it. Lazy cows.
When I shop, it's like BAM SCAN PAY CHANGE and I'm gone. All of 30 seconds.
At work, pleease take note of how much you're paying for your drink. If you want a kids size one, don't just pay $5.55 then complain to me at pour-up when I hand you an original size. Isn't it obvious that a tiny drink like that wouldn't cost that much? Same as if you change your mind during a sale and you end up paying for two drinks, and only realise at pour up. DID YOU NOT NOTICE THAT YOU PAYED $10 for ONE DRINK? Jeez louise you're stupid.
Also, the supplements are NOT DRINKS. Your first clue is that they cost 60c. Your second clue is that they are made up of things like whey protein, hydroxy citric acid and guarana, none of which are liquids or fruits. I don't see why you get so confused when I tell you that they're just supplements that you put INTO drinks.
When we have an email offer, we don't give a shit if you think it's worth it. We had 2 medium drinks for $7, which is pretty cheap at Boost, but some dick emailed us saying that $7 wasn't that great a deal because the drinks weren't original size. Like... fuck off. Pay full price then, it's no skin off our nose. You're pathetic.
Also, if you think you're drink's taking too long, talk to the person at pourup. For a couple of reasons.
a) if you don't say anything, how are we supposed to know your tag went missing and you've been waiting for 10 minutes? You look just like everyone else.
b) if you talk to the person at register, and it's busy, they will not hold up the line to tell the makers to do something.
The reason the express lane is taking so long is because you dumb bitches aren't unpacking your baskets while waiting, you're making the poor checkout girl do it. Lazy cows.
When I shop, it's like BAM SCAN PAY CHANGE and I'm gone. All of 30 seconds.
At work, pleease take note of how much you're paying for your drink. If you want a kids size one, don't just pay $5.55 then complain to me at pour-up when I hand you an original size. Isn't it obvious that a tiny drink like that wouldn't cost that much? Same as if you change your mind during a sale and you end up paying for two drinks, and only realise at pour up. DID YOU NOT NOTICE THAT YOU PAYED $10 for ONE DRINK? Jeez louise you're stupid.
Also, the supplements are NOT DRINKS. Your first clue is that they cost 60c. Your second clue is that they are made up of things like whey protein, hydroxy citric acid and guarana, none of which are liquids or fruits. I don't see why you get so confused when I tell you that they're just supplements that you put INTO drinks.
When we have an email offer, we don't give a shit if you think it's worth it. We had 2 medium drinks for $7, which is pretty cheap at Boost, but some dick emailed us saying that $7 wasn't that great a deal because the drinks weren't original size. Like... fuck off. Pay full price then, it's no skin off our nose. You're pathetic.
Also, if you think you're drink's taking too long, talk to the person at pourup. For a couple of reasons.
a) if you don't say anything, how are we supposed to know your tag went missing and you've been waiting for 10 minutes? You look just like everyone else.
b) if you talk to the person at register, and it's busy, they will not hold up the line to tell the makers to do something.
um, why do you care which trolleys people use? would you like squashed toast that doesn't fit in the toaster?Tete-De-Chou said:-Furthermore on trolleys, don't get the ones without the coin slot, with the baby seat instead just so your bread doesn't get squashed. Screw you, if you do that I make shore I put your bread under the watermelon.
And don't ask for a plastic bag to put your meat in to put in the bag.(I like green bags
and would you like meat liquid all over the green bag? you're the one who said make sure they're clean
other than those, i agree with all the rest
lol one of my of friend's girlfriend did simliar thing to that: she scanned the Coles discount card herself. We weren't shopping in her store and she didn't know the check out chick. I still remember the look of the check out chick, her look was like wtf do you think you were doing. My frienda and his girlfriend thought they were funny.Chubby said:
Forbidden.
Banned
I overcharged a customer $0.02
L
littlewing69
Guest
Target:
1. Yes, I work a register. No, I am not a failure at life. I am presently working for a meagre $12 an hour to pay for my LAW TEXTBOOKS, motherfucker, so don't talk down to me like I'm a no-hoper.
2. Please do ask to see my manager. He will say the exact same thing I have...funnily enough it's because we both work from the some bloody store policies. He, however, will not be half as courteous as I was, and will tell you in no uncertain terms to leave the store if you don't like how we do things.
3. Yes, you may have my name and next time you call, you can talk to me specifically and I will help you out again. You can do this because you were polite and grateful, and were nice enough to leave me good feedback. Jaded as I am, I still enjoy positive interaction with other decent human beings such as yourself. Please do have a nice day, and do come back.
4. No, you may not have my full name over the phone in case your product gets lost in lay-by. I don't work in lay-by, and I'm doing you a favour by doing this for you. I'm not intimidated by you, and I don't care whether you live or die once this phone call ends.
5. If you are nice to me, I will go the extra mile for you. I will ring other stores for you to chase down a particular product, I will check out the back for you, I will ask my manager if he knows anything more about the situation than I do, and I will take down your details and call you again. If you're an obviously stressed-out mother, I will offer to get you a trolley from the front of the store to carry your crap. Hell, I'll drag that godawfully heavy box to the registers for you. I quite enjoy doing this work--I'd prefer to help nice people than to stack shit on shelves. Just thank me, and if I did well, please tell my manager.
6. If you are terse, rude, or presumptuous, I will not go the extra mile. I will 'check out the back' by going and grabbing a drink of water from the bubbler and come back shaking my head remorsefully as if I care. I will not call anyone else for you, and I will not direct you to where you could find your desired product.
7. You may not call me 'hun' or 'sweetie' just because you are a middle-aged or old woman. Yes, I know I have a boyish face and a mischievous grin. Really, I do know. That doesn't mean you can talk down to me or wink at me. Your sweet-talking is just as offensive and unwelcome as what my female colleagues constantly get from seedy old men.
8. If you are a cute girl, however, yes, you may smile and flirt with me. Please do, it makes my day that much better.
9. No, it is not 'unfair trading' if you find a product next to a $12 ticket and it actually costs $16. The ticket you saw was clearly labelled as referring to another product. It is not my fault you are a) obviously fairly slow on the uptake and b) have a shaky grasp on English anyway. I will not apologise to you for this, so fuck off. Please do take your business elsewhere, if you really think that Australia's largest retail conglomerate is actually conspiring to rip you off for a grand four dollars. And yes, we are laughing at you, management included.
1. Yes, I work a register. No, I am not a failure at life. I am presently working for a meagre $12 an hour to pay for my LAW TEXTBOOKS, motherfucker, so don't talk down to me like I'm a no-hoper.
2. Please do ask to see my manager. He will say the exact same thing I have...funnily enough it's because we both work from the some bloody store policies. He, however, will not be half as courteous as I was, and will tell you in no uncertain terms to leave the store if you don't like how we do things.
3. Yes, you may have my name and next time you call, you can talk to me specifically and I will help you out again. You can do this because you were polite and grateful, and were nice enough to leave me good feedback. Jaded as I am, I still enjoy positive interaction with other decent human beings such as yourself. Please do have a nice day, and do come back.
4. No, you may not have my full name over the phone in case your product gets lost in lay-by. I don't work in lay-by, and I'm doing you a favour by doing this for you. I'm not intimidated by you, and I don't care whether you live or die once this phone call ends.
5. If you are nice to me, I will go the extra mile for you. I will ring other stores for you to chase down a particular product, I will check out the back for you, I will ask my manager if he knows anything more about the situation than I do, and I will take down your details and call you again. If you're an obviously stressed-out mother, I will offer to get you a trolley from the front of the store to carry your crap. Hell, I'll drag that godawfully heavy box to the registers for you. I quite enjoy doing this work--I'd prefer to help nice people than to stack shit on shelves. Just thank me, and if I did well, please tell my manager.
6. If you are terse, rude, or presumptuous, I will not go the extra mile. I will 'check out the back' by going and grabbing a drink of water from the bubbler and come back shaking my head remorsefully as if I care. I will not call anyone else for you, and I will not direct you to where you could find your desired product.
7. You may not call me 'hun' or 'sweetie' just because you are a middle-aged or old woman. Yes, I know I have a boyish face and a mischievous grin. Really, I do know. That doesn't mean you can talk down to me or wink at me. Your sweet-talking is just as offensive and unwelcome as what my female colleagues constantly get from seedy old men.
8. If you are a cute girl, however, yes, you may smile and flirt with me. Please do, it makes my day that much better.
9. No, it is not 'unfair trading' if you find a product next to a $12 ticket and it actually costs $16. The ticket you saw was clearly labelled as referring to another product. It is not my fault you are a) obviously fairly slow on the uptake and b) have a shaky grasp on English anyway. I will not apologise to you for this, so fuck off. Please do take your business elsewhere, if you really think that Australia's largest retail conglomerate is actually conspiring to rip you off for a grand four dollars. And yes, we are laughing at you, management included.
Last edited by a moderator:
Cyan_phoeniX
Active Member
That should be plastered on every store in the Country. said so well.littlewing69 said:
townie
Premium Member
omg, so true, some guy was like "you know, you guys have the worst white wine cold" and i saidCyan_phoeniX said:
"well sir, unfourtunatley, thats not our fault, if you would like to make some changes you should contact the Buying and Marketing team at Woolworths Head office in Norwest"
and he goes "well, i wont be doing that"
then why the fuck complain for if ur not gonna do anything about it!
hipsta_jess
Up the mighty red V
- Joined
- May 30, 2003
- Messages
- 5,981
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- Female
- HSC
- N/A
If I am looking at the number on the sticker, please do not tell me what fruit it is by name, that does not help me, I KNOW ITS A FUCKING PLUM!
scarybunny
Rocket Queen
- Joined
- Nov 7, 2004
- Messages
- 3,820
- Gender
- Female
- HSC
- 2005
OH I hate hearing people complaining, but not doing anything about it.
I remember hearing a woman buy 3 happy meals in Maccas for her kids and say something to the register person about them being a waste of money.
...
Then why are you buying it? They're not forcing you to. Take your money elsewhere. If your kids are begging for it, tell them NO. Easy fixed.
I remember hearing a woman buy 3 happy meals in Maccas for her kids and say something to the register person about them being a waste of money.
...
Then why are you buying it? They're not forcing you to. Take your money elsewhere. If your kids are begging for it, tell them NO. Easy fixed.
LOL I think I posted on this earlier but that drives me up the wall :mad1: THey stand there reciting each fruit like I've never seen a banana, a plum, grapes, an orange, potatoes in my life. Grrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!! I just mutter under my breathe "I know...I know...I know!!!""hipsta_jess said:
rofllittlewing69 said:
"but that's false advertising"
"but that's unfair trading"
It's not and I have heard that so many times by now that I DON'T CARE!!! Those words mean nothing to me anymore. If it hasn't come in I will do my best to make sure you're one of the first to get stock when it does but when you start using the cliches I will stop listening.
"you have sold out of stock, it's against store policy to sell the display and it's MISSING PIECES ANYWAY - but you HAVE to sell it to me and it has to be COMPLETE, oh and it's false advertising even though i have come in on the 13th day of a 14 day sale" - WTF i have heard that one so many times i don't understand how there are so many people who don't understand simple logic that, even if i could sell it to you, which i can't, it's incomplete in some way so there is NO CHANCE that you can buy it as if it's new and i can't pull the missing piece out of the magical back room that's filled with crap and no i'm not making up stories, my teammate and manager will tell you the same thing but less patiently than i have and don't get pissed off at them and storm off before turning around to thank me
when all you caused me was trouble
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townie
Premium Member
and most brochures, and ads have a little disclaimer stating "while stocks last" or something similar, i'm gonna point that out next time a customer dare complain