Rules for Customers (4 Viewers)

[yoddle]

I have this old bitch faced mole local shopper at work who comes to self serve and expects me to do it for her.
Actually, expects is an under statement, she doesn't ask, nor even tell me.

"I want this in a bag on it's own, and those three things in a bag, and that in a seperate bag too.".
She once stood there for 40 minutes talking to my duty manager about something she felt like protesting.
Stupid old slut cow hag.

Hahaha does this not completely defeat the purpose of SELF-serve??

Also, if you grunt at me and refuse to actually speak the entire time i'm serving you ever again i'm going to punch you in the face and roll your really fat middle-aged virgin body all the way down the ramp and into the path of oncoming traffic.

 

[iMatthew]

Hahaha does this not completely defeat the purpose of SELF-serve??

Also, if you grunt at me and refuse to actually speak the entire time i'm serving you ever again i'm going to punch you in the face and roll your really fat middle-aged virgin body all the way down the ramp and into the path of oncoming traffic.

Yep but how do you tell her without her complaining & seeing it through until i don't have a job?

 

[^CoSMic DoRiS^^]

So if you call in with an order enquiry it would be really helpful if you could provide us with even the smallest bit of information about it. Below is an example of what not to do:

customer: I ordered something from you and it hasn't arrived
me: what date did you place the order
customer: I don't know
me: do you know approximately when it might have been?
customer: no
me: ok so what name was the order placed under
customer: I don't know
me: you don't know?
customer: no
me: um wouldn't it have been your own name?
customer: no a friend of my mum did it for me while she was over cause I'm not that good with computers. I can't remember her name
me: .... right. Do you have an order number?
customer: no
me: What address was it being sent to
customer: 123 fake street
me: suburb? postcode?
customer: (in a really slow manner) ohh I don't know I'm sorry I'll have to ask my mum when she gets home
me: do you have anything at all that would assist us in locating your account with us?
customer: what kind of stuff do you mean
me: a name, an email address, a credit card number, a date, an invoice, anything
customer: no I just know I ordered it and it's not here

well what the fuck do you expect me to do about it??

when I told this lady we couldn't do anything to help her she went off on this rant about how poor our customer service was and with all the technology nowadays couldn't we find some way to track it down. ummm no? how about you try firstly placing the order yourself and secondly having a memory? and knowing where the fuck you live?? BAH. I checked under her name just to make sure, sure enough it wasn't her. How can you not remember this stuff

 

[Craven]

^ okay, that's fucked up, but maybe ask what they ordered - you can search for what people ordered yeah?

 

[SnowFox]

^ okay, that's fucked up, but maybe ask what they ordered - you can search for what people ordered yeah?

Thats dependent on how popular the product is.

 

[^CoSMic DoRiS^^]

^ okay, that's fucked up, but maybe ask what they ordered - you can search for what people ordered yeah?

yeah but there were like 300 people listed who'd ordered the product recently and our ordering system doesn't let you search by street address alone, you have to have a name or an order number to begin with or you can't get any further

 

[Otacon2009]

Someone mentioned about how if asks how you've been, the answer shouldn't be a long winded explanation of the day for them. I understand that it's all part of the small talk, however is it ok to branch out in certain circumstances?

Like for example, whenever the store is quiet and I'm waiting for an EFTPOS to go through, I engage in small talk to make it feel less of an awkward silence and leave once as it's approved (Sometimes it takes a while). Being trained on checkouts, I know the difference between small talk and exposing my deepest darkest secrets. So using the same small talk I use on customers, can I use it when I'm the customer?

 

[spazamataz]

Someone mentioned about how if asks how you've been, the answer shouldn't be a long winded explanation of the day for them. I understand that it's all part of the small talk, however is it ok to branch out in certain circumstances?

Like for example, whenever the store is quiet and I'm waiting for an EFTPOS to go through, I engage in small talk to make it feel less of an awkward silence and leave once as it's approved (Sometimes it takes a while). Being trained on checkouts, I know the difference between small talk and exposing my deepest darkest secrets. So using the same small talk I use on customers, can I use it when I'm the customer?

I like customers who do that lol,
Like the ones who go "oh have you been busy today?", and they talk about the weather and stuff.
Makes it less awkward, but to be honest, i don't tend to notice/care about it that much.

 

[greekgun]

Someone mentioned about how if asks how you've been, the answer shouldn't be a long winded explanation of the day for them. I understand that it's all part of the small talk, however is it ok to branch out in certain circumstances?

Like for example, whenever the store is quiet and I'm waiting for an EFTPOS to go through, I engage in small talk to make it feel less of an awkward silence and leave once as it's approved (Sometimes it takes a while). Being trained on checkouts, I know the difference between small talk and exposing my deepest darkest secrets. So using the same small talk I use on customers, can I use it when I'm the customer?

Eh
i dont mind when customers go on and on and on about something and dont shut up, just means i dont have to talk to them and can day dream about shit.

 

[bregitta]

Someone mentioned about how if asks how you've been, the answer shouldn't be a long winded explanation of the day for them. I understand that it's all part of the small talk, however is it ok to branch out in certain circumstances?

Like for example, whenever the store is quiet and I'm waiting for an EFTPOS to go through, I engage in small talk to make it feel less of an awkward silence and leave once as it's approved (Sometimes it takes a while). Being trained on checkouts, I know the difference between small talk and exposing my deepest darkest secrets. So using the same small talk I use on customers, can I use it when I'm the customer?

Nah that's cool, it's just the annoying ones that start their sentence with "WELL" really loudly, and then trail off about how miserable their life is or how awful something was that happened earlier that day. They know they're abusing the question.

Here is a scenario that happened THREE TIMES tonight..argh:

Customer: "Hello I was wondering if you have any copies of this movie that aren't subtitled"
Me: "Um you can turn off subtitles, but the language is French"
Customer: "OH so you have no copies of it in English"
Me: "Uh no it's a French movie"
Customer: "Oh well you'd think you'd stock SOME in English" *huffs off*

 

[x.christina]

I get that all the time

or the opposite where they demand to speak to the CEO of the company about some piss easy issue that I can fix for them in 3 seconds flat

people ring up reception and ask to speak to one of the directors, and when i say they arent available, they're just like err i'll just talk to *insert engineer here* instead.
directors only take important calls ok

 

[FutureSight01]

Please do not walk up to our chicken shop and ask if the spinach and pinenut sausages are vegetarian. Also please do not ask if anything is made of chicken. You can read signs right? You walked up to something which has chicken plastering the walls and window. Do not ask if it's beef or pork.

Also please stop buying the vegemite sausages. For me it puts the final nail in humanity's coffin. It's also disgusting to watch people make :S Think brown, then sausage shaped. What does it look like to YOU?

 

[russianROULETTE]

attn: shit customers - stop coming in when i'm in charge. i had so many in a row the other day, it was ridiculous. it never happens on any other shift but mine.

special order people - if your name isn't coming up in my system, you've probably ordered it somewhere else. i can't really help you if you can't remember what book it was (if you could i would certainly do all i could to find out what happened), and it was ordered in 2008. i may have been able to help you with it two years ago.

teachers/librarians buying school books - dont get angry at me when i can't tell you everything you want to know, i'm not in charge of school orders. also, if we don't have it on the shelf, i can't make it materialise out of thin air, so don't give me a blank look that says 'well what are you going to do about it'. i've already told you i can see if i can order it.

people in general: please be a little more patient when there are only two staff members in the store, one being me, another being obviously new and in need of help.

today i was serving a customer and my coworker needed help with a preorder so i told her how to do it, then the phone started ringing and i asked the woman if she minded if i asked the customer on the phone to hold and she got all huffy. fuck off, it would have taken me literally two seconds to say 'can you hold please'. i seriously doubt you had anywhere better to be, fat bitch. grr she pissed me off, i've never had a person get angry because i had to help a new staff member. as if she couldn't have waited another second.

 

[meilz92]

dear customers,

if you are waiting for your script to be filled, do not stand at the counter. especially when we have 1000000 other customers we are trying to serve- YOU ARE IN THE WAY! see those seats over there? THEY ARE THERE FOR YOU TO SIT ON WHILST WAITING FOR YOUR SCRIPT. please use them. we will call your name when your script is ready.

thanks for understanding.

 

[babikakez]

similar to what meilz92 said

dear customer
i understand that you're pissed off because you think we're scamming you and all. but don't stand in front of my eftpos terminal so noone else can use it, and then get angry when i ask you to step two steps to the left.
thanks, me.

 

[^CoSMic DoRiS^^]

Customers need to learn the rules of the greeting/general small talk/admin exchange.

For example (in a call centre)

If I ask you if you would mind holding, I'm not actually asking you whether you want to. Next thing you hear is gonna be hold music whether you want to or not. Plus, I'm doing it so that I can find out the answer to your query for you, not because I like to make you wait for fun.

 

[ambermorn]

Me: Hi, how are yo-
Customer: JUST LOOKING! *evil stare*

FFS, when I ask how you are, I actually mean it. If I was asking if you wanted help, I would have actually done so before you rudely cut me off. I'm not forcing you to buy anything by merely greeting you, seriously chill out.

I love the bright sparks who ask if I work here...just after I've greeted them. *headdesk*

 

[SSRabbitohs2009]

I hate it when you ask 'May I help you with anything?' and lines of that nature, and they completely ignore you.
Subsequently, I will do the exact same back to you, keeping my dialogue with you to a minimum, in fear that I might say something sarcastic.
I'm awesome at customer service.
And,

its called a cheese & bacon roll. NOT A PIG AND CHEESE ROLL!
fucking idiot.

kthnxbi.

 

[shinji]

Rofl. Pig and cheese. haha

To those customer who ignore my questions; i just do this:
Me: What do you want?
Them: Drumsticks
(Me: standing around if they don't say how much they want. seriously; i'm not a mind reader. Don't make me MAKE you say how much!!! jesus)
anyway, i stand there until they look at me liike *wtf are you doing* type of stare.
At which point is a small victory for me

 

[brookie94]

Lady: Excuse me, what type of water is this?

She's holding a bottle of fucking Mount Franklin.

Me: Umm... water?

--

If you want lotto fucking tell me your registered BEFORE I PRINT THE FUCKING TICKETS I do not have the fucking time to cancel all of them and FFS your an old lady entering the fucking $2 lottery UR NOT GONNA WIN ITS ONE NUMBER YOU BOUGHT WHO FUCKING CARES ABOUT REGISTERING IT!!

--

to the fucking idiot who buys the 007 magazine from us, WE CANNOT AFFORD TO ORDER THREE OF THE SAME FUCKING MAGAZINE WHEN UR THE ONLY ONE BUYING IT! WE DONT GIVE A SHIT WHETHER YOU WANT THE BEST JAMES BOND COLLECTIONG FFS WE CAN'T KEEP BUYING THEM.

don't spend 40 mins inspecting the three magazines dude pick one AND GTFO now.

--

The forestway bus driver who wants his wartime DVDs STFU and GTFO if you dont want the navy one or the air force. Dont complain to me you fuckwit i don't write the magazine. go drive your bus and get out

--

TO ALISON. I HATE YOU. We will never have magazine number 54 and 53 SO GTFO now. no one wants to buy THE ART OF KNITTING and no number 53 and 54 will never arrive on our doorstep so stop asking for it dumb bitch.

/rant.


FUCK that felt gooooood.

HAHAHAHAH! i love it! STFU and GTFU lol you are my hero
i know none of us would ever have the guts to say this to a customers face but doesnt it feel awesome to rant about it haha