Tell me What you think of this? (1 Viewer)

[Evansy]

This is just something i wrote the other day and would like other peoples opinions about it.

Tears of lighting
oceans of thunder
waves of passion
flooding through the air

each day changes
each year is different
seconds, hours, minutes
never to be the same again

looking through an hour glass
watching the world past by
watching as your heart grows old
waiting for a new start

new starts come and go
while many do not last
taking each day at a time
is the only way
that old misserable hearts
may actually have a chance
in this forever changing world


so what do you think?

 

[kiteblood]

lolocaust RLY

 

[glitter burns]

You spelt miserable wrong. And not to be harsh, but it's very cliched.
As for the rest.... it reads like what it is, teenage poetry. Which is fine, I guess, since you're a teenager.

 

[olchik]

Not bad I think. But I didn't get a really great impression.

 

[nwatts]

I wouldn't give up your day job and turn to writing. Although, many have done so over less.

Advice: read more good poetry.

 

[rific]

Out of curiosity, how do you define good poetry?

 

[olchik]

Classic have always a good poetry.

 

[nwatts]

Out of curiosity, how do you define good poetry?

I'm not going to try and define good poetry.

But for the purposes of educating a writer on how to write effective poetry, the first step is to find recognised quality and read it. The classics of poetry, Dante, Shakespeare, Milton, Donne, Keats etc. are a good place to start.

edit: add Sappho to that list too. A must see for young lyric poets.

 

[rific]

I'm not going to try and define good poetry.

But for the purposes of educating a writer on how to write effective poetry, the first step is to find recognised quality and read it. The classics of poetry, Dante, Shakespeare, Milton, Donne, Keats etc. are a good place to start.

I'm happy you said that, as I was worried you meant something more unrefined, like the necessity of rhyme or some such illusion. I note you've only mentioned the older generations, is this just for the sake of the argument, or is this because you believe there is no 'quality' to be found in the modern generations?

 

[bscienceboi]

If it makes sense then its not a good poem

Hahaha, no comment.....maybe don't be too direct.

 

[nwatts]

I'm happy you said that, as I was worried you meant something more unrefined, like the necessity of rhyme or some such illusion. I note you've only mentioned the older generations, is this just for the sake of the argument, or is this because you believe there is no 'quality' to be found in the modern generations?

I'm personally not a fan of any post-renaissance poetry. There's some quality, like from Coleridge, but generally I think there's not a lot to offer. To get a grounding within the world of poetry, it's best to look at the classics I mentioned. They'll give you an overview of a vast number of poetic styles/structures and they'll introduce you to commonly accepted techniques/etc. that poets still today use. I rarely find anything new in contemporary poetry.

 

[libertine]

that poem just induced a series of eye-rolling from myself.

and yes its very cliched, reminds me of my bad teenage poetry lol

 

[Kutay]

sorry didn't get me, wasn't drawn in

 

[Trippendicular]

Read e.e. cummings, thats poetic genius

 

[rific]

I'm personally not a fan of any post-renaissance poetry. There's some quality, like from Coleridge, but generally I think there's not a lot to offer. To get a grounding within the world of poetry, it's best to look at the classics I mentioned. They'll give you an overview of a vast number of poetic styles/structures and they'll introduce you to commonly accepted techniques/etc. that poets still today use. I rarely find anything new in contemporary poetry.

Fair call, personally I believe Blake is one of the best poets of any time, but I also enjoy most of the renaissance period and pre-renaissance period pieces. Further afield, Moritake and Senryu are also worth reading, I believe. I think much modern poetry lacks a reason to read it, but there is also much worth reading, particularly from different cultures. Even if there is nothing new, the expression or altered perspective can often make the reading worthwhile.

 

[Sam.]

It's not brilliance, but it's not cringe-worthy. I agree with those above, try reading some more "classic" poetry. Get an idea of what style you want to write in (Romantic etc.) and look a little closer at the work of the poets that use that particular form.

Also some hints: try to incorporate a few more of those scrummy-yummy literary techniques the teachers love (IMAGERY, allusion, alliteration etc.) and write about what's going through your head while you write. It's no good writing directly about a topic, if that makes any sense. I know it's a cheap example, but for instance, don't write "the brown dog jumped over the rock." Use descriptive and emotive language to form a picture in the responder's mind. Don't just tell them what you're writing about, describe it to them, "brown fur sways mystically in the breeze..." blahdy blahdy blah (I'm not a great poet myself). That's why a lot of poetry doesn't seem to be coherent or make logical sense, because the poet is just writing about individual feelings and images that flow through their mind. So don't write about the dog, write about it's fur, or it's paws, or its expression.

 

[Evansy]

i have to say that was the best comment that anyone has actually said.

 

[nwatts]

i have to say that was the best comment that anyone has actually said.

I'd have to disagree - on the basis that a writer should write, rather than adhere to a how to guide. No acclaimed writers have followed the rules and become successful.

 

[xeuyrawp]

No acclaimed writers have followed the rules and become successful.

Agatha Christy is the most obvious example that comes to my mind, although there are 100s of formulaic writers that I could name.

Next?

 

[nwatts]

Successful from a literary perspective.