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trying to fall out of love, (1 Viewer)

Yarg

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Ok. I fell in love with my best friend, we fooled around, i wanted more, as in a relationship, as far as i know she didnt feel anything for me. And has since tossed our friendship away with the rest of the trash. I hate her, but i still love her. Its been a few weeks, she has a boyfriend now, but ive met him a few times, without talking to her, and hes almost exactly like me.., It makes me think stupid things, like maybe she does feel something, and she is going out with him as a replacement to me. She met him and started going out with him straight away without even knowing much about him... besides that he is just like me.

These other two close friends of mine seem interested but... im still hung up over her... And i cant get her out of my head. We don't talk anymore, email, or anything. And our friendship just stopped. I hate it, and i don't know what to do... she seemingly just used me... but that doesnt stop me feeling these things still... any help would be great. But i dont know if there is much advice that people can give besides give it time and i will forget about her.
 
S

Shuter

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I do seem to recall me heavily warning you this would happen and to cut all feelings and run. Other memebers said I was wrong. Lets now point out the fact that I was right, and the rest of you were wrong. Also shame on you Yarg for not listening to me.
 

Yarg

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haha. yes, shame on me. But if i could of cut the feelings off back then, which i tried to do, i would of done it.

And i think that might of been about someone else, but maybe not.
 

Not-That-Bright

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my suggestion, find a new girl... use her to gain self confidence, dump her, then look for someone else to love.

edit: Take your anger out on this new girl in bed, a good outlet for frustration/anger is sex. (i guess?)
 
S

Shuter

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Now I will give you useful tips.

Actively try to forget about her, no contact is good, try not to be in the same places she is, if ever you start to reminice about the fun times you had with her, just stop yourself and force yourself to think about something else.

Over time you will actually forget. GOing for another girl soon, but not too soon is also a wise option.
 

Yarg

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yah, thanks shuter, good ideas. Im doing the avoid all contact shit at the moment. And i have these other two girls to look forward to, hopefully something comes of it soon.
 

hatty

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sounds like a slut. dont waste your time with sluts. she fucked you, and now has completely ignored and moved on to someone else. nobody wants a woman like this.
move on.
 

SashatheMan

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hatty said:
sounds like a slut. dont waste your time with sluts. she fucked you, and now has completely ignored and moved on to someone else. nobody wants a woman like this.
move on.
no thats an easy way out. we have to revenge her. leave her favourite pony dead in her bed , or kidnap her cat and send a paw through the mail.

vengence is good. none of this lets forget and move on.
 

aimstar555

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SashatheMan said:
no thats an easy way out. we have to revenge her. leave her favourite pony dead in her bed , or kidnap her cat and send a paw through the mail.

vengence is good. none of this lets forget and move on.
i'll have to agree with this one, especially about the kidnapping of the cat ;)
i was in a similar situation with a guy only i managed to find sumone else, whom i'm still with. my ex (who i thought was "completly in love with") tried to make my life a living hell, so i decided to revenge on him by posting out his photo to all the year 9 girls at my school (i went to a really small school) telling them he was single and looking 4 a "younger girlfriend" . cause i did it at school i got in heaps of trouble, but it was well worth it :)
 

Yarg

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maybe i will become best friends with her boyfriend, fuck him in the ass, then send photos of it to her.
 

Skittled

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I doubt her boyfriend is as much like you as you think; there's a tendency to see things like that when you're in your situation; it's called confirmation bias: you're seeing what you want to see because it gives you hope.

Shuter said:
Actively try to forget about her, no contact .... force yourself to think about something else.
...GOing for another girl soon, but not too soon is also a wise option.
Shuter's got it right: easiest way is to try and forget, move on. Don't even look for the future 'maybe we can be friends' contingency. Forget, move on, find someone or something else to occupy your thoughts and passions.

Also, Unfortunately its very easy to let your self esteem be hit in situations like this: it's easy to feel that because someone doesn't feel strongly for you, you're not 'worth' as much as before. Make sure you don't fall into that trap, and you'll be right: remember your hobbies, keep active, find a passion... Makes moving on (and everything after ie as shuter said, "picking up another girl soon") easier.
 

_Amie_

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Wise words skittled...I'd agree with it all.
 

Dreamerish*~

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you should just forget about her.
seeking revenge only degrades yourself. and if she sees you trying to impress her or win her back, she'll look down on you.
i really don't think she's worth going out with.
just get over it and you'll meet someone better eventually.
 

Grobus

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Drugs
J.D. Salinger
Friends (not the TV show)

The three best things for curing the heart.
 

Yarg

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i was joking about revenge, and im not looking to be friends, or win her back.

I also dont go with that confirmation bias, my friends pointed it out before i even met him. But yeah, friends are ok, but i would rather be alone at the moment.
 

Atticus.

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Yarg said:
Ok. I fell in love with my best friend, we fooled around, i wanted more, as in a relationship, as far as i know she didnt feel anything for me. And has since tossed our friendship away with the rest of the trash. I hate her, but i still love her. Its been a few weeks, she has a boyfriend now, but ive met him a few times, without talking to her, and hes almost exactly like me.., It makes me think stupid things, like maybe she does feel something, and she is going out with him as a replacement to me. She met him and started going out with him straight away without even knowing much about him... besides that he is just like me.

These other two close friends of mine seem interested but... im still hung up over her... And i cant get her out of my head. We don't talk anymore, email, or anything. And our friendship just stopped. I hate it, and i don't know what to do... she seemingly just used me... but that doesnt stop me feeling these things still... any help would be great. But i dont know if there is much advice that people can give besides give it time and i will forget about her.
holy shit dude. grow some fucking balls...
you are a joke... a guy asking for relationship advice on the net...
this is what i was talking about in that down with love and relationships thread...
 

MaryJane

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TurboTom said:
holy shit dude. grow some fucking balls...
you are a joke... a guy asking for relationship advice on the net...
this is what i was talking about in that down with love and relationships thread...
If you dont like it, dont look. Its that simple. Whether you like it or not, this forum exists... not everyone is content with having no social skills like you. Stop stirring shit and grow up.
 

Skittled

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TurboTom said:
holy shit dude. grow some fucking balls...
you are a joke... a guy asking for relationship advice on the net...
this is what i was talking about in that down with love and relationships thread...
That was an entirely unproductive and unconstructive post. You're entitled to an opinion but if you're going to bitch about/at someone, why don't you help them get out of the hole that caused insult to you in the first place?

In the end these questions tend to be requests for reassurance, anyway: the people tend to know (whether they realise it or not) what they've gotta do, but need it said to them to make it real. People can and do have difficulties dealing with emotions, and that's life. Who cares what medium they talk about it in? Online, you get truer opinions from people due to the anonymity, which helps you think outside the square, and find solutions/considerations you wouldn't have otherwise. Sure, they don't know the situation intimately, so the original questioner moderates it to the sitiuation and applies it.

Can you expect much less in a L&R forum? If you don't like it, don't read it. Simple.
 

Atticus.

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Skittled said:
In the end these questions tend to be requests for reassurance, anyway: the people tend to know (whether they realise it or not) what they've gotta do,
exactly. these posts shit me for exactly that reason...
the answers are obvious and its fishing for reassurance... dont clog the net with your crying when you may as well reply to your own posts with what you already know has to be done...
 

Atticus.

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MaryJane said:
If you dont like it, dont look. Its that simple. Whether you like it or not, this forum exists... not everyone is content with having no social skills like you. Stop stirring shit and grow up.
attention everyone... maryjane has superhero powers. she can determine the character and personality of people through the internet having only read one post! what an amazing talent...
by the same power maryjane also would have determined that i have no time for stupid assumptions made by fuckwits! such talent
 

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