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would you let someone borrow your book? (3 Viewers)
- Thread starter snow_fanatzi
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lonely-lass
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I'm so bad at this.. in school I was always reluctant to share my books and copies. I can think of letting someone borrow my book only if he/she's not careless.
Sadiah
Member
I've always let my friends borrow my books, and have never had a problem with it.
quackerdile
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I only let people I trust borrow my expensive hard cover books.
I will let anyone borrow my paperbacks since they aren't that expensive.
I, however, have a rule that people can't borrow one of my books until I've finished reading it first. I just hate the idea that someone will be reading my book before I do.
I will let anyone borrow my paperbacks since they aren't that expensive.
I, however, have a rule that people can't borrow one of my books until I've finished reading it first. I just hate the idea that someone will be reading my book before I do.
sherianne
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New user. First post. 
Not for the multi-paragraphobic....
How to Not Loan a Book to Others and Still Be Able To Borrow Their Books
The value of a book and the value of a friend.
Both are precious and both are living relationships.
I love books & I love my friends!
To keep both, I do not loan books anymore. Exceptions are possible but rare.
I warn people of this in our first discussion of books or their first encounter with my growing library. Over time I acquire multiple copies of my most important books and I will give them as gifts, or sometimes ask that the person buy one of my copies so I can replace it.
Some books belong in families of their own. I recently sent someone a trilogy as 3 paperbacks. There are lots of great used book stores and online sources with excellent deals.
If someone is persistent about requesting to borrow a book I may give them my second copy or offer to get them one. I ask them not to take this personally and tell them of my negative experiences with loaning books.
For example, the manual of a once favorite MIDI program called Textures was returned almost on time but when I got it back I saw that it was ruined by huge reddish brown stains soaked through and warping all the pages. I asked him "What happened?!" He said had it been in the trunk of the car and he and his wife had been food shopping and they had a blood spill. A bloooood spill??! To a vegetarian that was quite upsetting.
If someone desperately wants to copy something now I offer to go with them and help, so it gets done right away, and I have done that. If someone really wants to read something, and there is no way to get another copy I suggest they are welcome to come to my home and read. No one has ever done that, yet.
If someone asks for a book now, which is rare because I preempt that with warnings, I explain; "Look, I know this may seem heartless of me, but books are precious to me and I have an ongoing relationship with each one. Each one has changed me in some way and even if I rarely pick it up, its presence is comforting and it will be there whenever I need to look up something and perhaps show it to someone to help illustrate a point."
Many very active or older people don't take the time to read anymore and they tend to resist risking exposure to anything that might upset their status quo, identity or increase their responsibility so sometimes when I really want someone to check out a book, I will go to great lengths to inspire them to acquire and read it, however it almost never works and offering a copy in such cases usually won't help.
I think it is wise to have fun with this potentially emotional impasse.
I sometimes ask if the person has had any bad experiences loaning books.
Strangely, people wishing to borrow books never seem to have had any. No one knows why.
One approach I may try one day is asking them if they would mind ordering a book for me that I want to read, instead.
Books are a principle means of intercourse with great minds of the past and present.
It's not that I don't want to loan books to just anyone, I really, really do ~ but I am no longer capable of it.
Really persistent would-be booknappers will be informed that the improbability of their borrowing a book increases exponentially in proportion to the intensity and persuasiveness of their request. This seems to always work, maybe because it resonates their awareness of the law of diminishing returns.
The fun part is when I add, "But surely this won't affect your willingness to loan me your books... right?" And I am serious and I may ask. Because if you loan me a book, I will care for it and you will get it back when agreed or before, no manglage, no extra rinse cycle, and I promise, no blood spills, (Acts of God notwithstanding ; ) and with appreciation.
Not for the multi-paragraphobic....
How to Not Loan a Book to Others and Still Be Able To Borrow Their Books
The value of a book and the value of a friend.
Both are precious and both are living relationships.
I love books & I love my friends!
To keep both, I do not loan books anymore. Exceptions are possible but rare.
I warn people of this in our first discussion of books or their first encounter with my growing library. Over time I acquire multiple copies of my most important books and I will give them as gifts, or sometimes ask that the person buy one of my copies so I can replace it.
Some books belong in families of their own. I recently sent someone a trilogy as 3 paperbacks. There are lots of great used book stores and online sources with excellent deals.
If someone is persistent about requesting to borrow a book I may give them my second copy or offer to get them one. I ask them not to take this personally and tell them of my negative experiences with loaning books.
For example, the manual of a once favorite MIDI program called Textures was returned almost on time but when I got it back I saw that it was ruined by huge reddish brown stains soaked through and warping all the pages. I asked him "What happened?!" He said had it been in the trunk of the car and he and his wife had been food shopping and they had a blood spill. A bloooood spill??! To a vegetarian that was quite upsetting.
If someone desperately wants to copy something now I offer to go with them and help, so it gets done right away, and I have done that. If someone really wants to read something, and there is no way to get another copy I suggest they are welcome to come to my home and read. No one has ever done that, yet.
If someone asks for a book now, which is rare because I preempt that with warnings, I explain; "Look, I know this may seem heartless of me, but books are precious to me and I have an ongoing relationship with each one. Each one has changed me in some way and even if I rarely pick it up, its presence is comforting and it will be there whenever I need to look up something and perhaps show it to someone to help illustrate a point."
Many very active or older people don't take the time to read anymore and they tend to resist risking exposure to anything that might upset their status quo, identity or increase their responsibility so sometimes when I really want someone to check out a book, I will go to great lengths to inspire them to acquire and read it, however it almost never works and offering a copy in such cases usually won't help.
I think it is wise to have fun with this potentially emotional impasse.
I sometimes ask if the person has had any bad experiences loaning books.
Strangely, people wishing to borrow books never seem to have had any. No one knows why.
One approach I may try one day is asking them if they would mind ordering a book for me that I want to read, instead.
Books are a principle means of intercourse with great minds of the past and present.
It's not that I don't want to loan books to just anyone, I really, really do ~ but I am no longer capable of it.
Really persistent would-be booknappers will be informed that the improbability of their borrowing a book increases exponentially in proportion to the intensity and persuasiveness of their request. This seems to always work, maybe because it resonates their awareness of the law of diminishing returns.
The fun part is when I add, "But surely this won't affect your willingness to loan me your books... right?" And I am serious and I may ask. Because if you loan me a book, I will care for it and you will get it back when agreed or before, no manglage, no extra rinse cycle, and I promise, no blood spills, (Acts of God notwithstanding ; ) and with appreciation.
"never loan a book to anyone who would loan a book to you" - s
GTwin
Member
It depends on who it is...
I lent my friend one of my favourite books and I got it back a year later and only then cause I needed it for school work.
I lent a different friend one of my favourite books a year and 2 months ago and she still hasn't finished reading it!!!
So I only lend to very close friends, or people I trust with my books.
And I'm so possessive of my books that sometimes I won't lend one of my favourites just cause I want it all to myself... *Evil laugh*
I lent my friend one of my favourite books and I got it back a year later and only then cause I needed it for school work.
I lent a different friend one of my favourite books a year and 2 months ago and she still hasn't finished reading it!!!
So I only lend to very close friends, or people I trust with my books.
And I'm so possessive of my books that sometimes I won't lend one of my favourites just cause I want it all to myself... *Evil laugh*
muhahahahahaha
Active Member
Depends on who it is. Now, i've only ever lent a book to a friend once and my friend has only ever lent me one book and a teacher lent me two and I took extremely good care of them, making sure that i didnt crease the cover or bend the corners etc.
But I guess there are people who just abuse books. Personally, I don't like to lend people books and I especially don't like people taking my book before I read it.
Furthermore, a lot of my books are hard cover looks. They're expensive so I don't like people handling them incorrectly.
But I guess there are people who just abuse books. Personally, I don't like to lend people books and I especially don't like people taking my book before I read it.
Furthermore, a lot of my books are hard cover looks. They're expensive so I don't like people handling them incorrectly.
I semi-leant an acquaintance the first few books of a series in year seven. Semi-leant meaning that I gave it to her when we got on the bus home from school and I got it back when we got off. She ended up not wanting to read the rest of the series - at one stage we weren't friendly at all, now we're really close friends - although I've offered them to her since. (Now that I know her outside of school I would let her take them home, though I admit her books don't end up in the best of condition as she really, really loves reading and has reread them so many times).
I leant another friend of mine two books from a series. She returned the first the next day (she's really fast), though forgot to return the second for a while as it was over a weekend and she is forgetful. There were no problems with either of them though.
And I've leant another friend a TV series twice by now. She's really responsible though. It was funny the second time how she seemed to forget everything that had happened the first time and was rediscovering it.
I can't really give advice on this though - all three of these people love books, the last one is really responsible, the second one is forgetful but wouldn't want to do something that might hurt friends, and while books leant to the first might end up being bent (which I prefer they aren't), she reads really quickly and would give them back quickly.
I leant another friend of mine two books from a series. She returned the first the next day (she's really fast), though forgot to return the second for a while as it was over a weekend and she is forgetful. There were no problems with either of them though.
And I've leant another friend a TV series twice by now. She's really responsible though. It was funny the second time how she seemed to forget everything that had happened the first time and was rediscovering it.
I can't really give advice on this though - all three of these people love books, the last one is really responsible, the second one is forgetful but wouldn't want to do something that might hurt friends, and while books leant to the first might end up being bent (which I prefer they aren't), she reads really quickly and would give them back quickly.
MissSquiggly
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No.
No.
No and no.
Maybe if I'm feeling nice.
No.
No and no.
Maybe if I'm feeling nice.
wannaspoon
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that's what libraries are for!!!!
and no, if they want to read it... books are cheap as chips now as well...
and no, if they want to read it... books are cheap as chips now as well...
I would, especially to those close friends who love books the way I do.
my good friend let me borrow her hardcover copy of Clockwork Princess with no issues and I returned it in pristine condition.... maybe because I try not to ruin books..
books are supposed to be shared and loved
my good friend let me borrow her hardcover copy of Clockwork Princess with no issues and I returned it in pristine condition.... maybe because I try not to ruin books..
books are supposed to be shared and loved
InsoulvencyReaper
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The last time I let my friend borrow my book "the perks of being a wallflower" a year or two ago...
Her autistic brother ripped it to shreds. I was absolutely devastated, it was my favourite book at the time.
Her autistic brother ripped it to shreds. I was absolutely devastated, it was my favourite book at the time.
obliviousninja
(╯°□°）╯━︵ ┻━┻ - - - -
all this peps trying to steal my cherub collection
No. Some of my friends lend their books out to people and they always come back ripped, with food in them, bend pages, ect.
I don't understand how you could borrow someone else's book and not make an effort to take care of it, like half of my friends never even got an apology when their books were returned with ripped pages...
I don't understand how you could borrow someone else's book and not make an effort to take care of it, like half of my friends never even got an apology when their books were returned with ripped pages...
InsoulvencyReaper
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dude mine was in a state of disrepair
she just laughed when i asked when i would get it back... said she was too poor to replace it too
~ i feel ya, i learned never to lend again.