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friend zone (1 Viewer)

jumb

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i-love-maynard said:
*sigh*
this is why i've been single for a year.
post pics and well tell you why youve been single for a year
 

Enteebee

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You don't always get everything you want. You need to be able to deal with that without ending friendships over it.
Of course not, but your friends should be looking out for you, not hurting you. So unless they feel particularly compelled to pursue that girl shouldn't they just consider her out of bounds?

It doesn't matter how much I like a girl. If she doesn't like me and she does like my friend that is not my friends fault, why should he not get to be with her because of me?
Because it might hurt you.

A good friend would want their other friends to be happy, they wouldn't be selfish.
I agree, but people lusting after others are selfish. It's also likely that your friend could get with some other girl, so it's not like he's going to be particularly more happy with this one, but you're going to be particularly more upset that your mate chose that one.
 

jb_nc

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Rape zone: The best zone.

Im posting at the state library i hope they dont monitor traffik or im going to be taken down by the federales
 

iamsickofyear12

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Enteebee said:
Of course not, but your friends should be looking out for you, not hurting you. So unless they feel particularly compelled to pursue that girl shouldn't they just consider her out of bounds?

Because it might hurt you.

I agree, but people lusting after others are selfish. It's also likely that your friend could get with some other girl, so it's not like he's going to be particularly more happy with this one, but you're going to be particularly more upset that your mate chose that one.
Doesn't it work both ways. I should be looking out for my friends by letting them be happy and go out with who they want and not hurting them by not letting them be with people they like just because of me.

Why should my friend have to go for another girl when there is already one he likes that likes him?
 

Enteebee

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Doesn't it work both ways. I should be looking out for my friends by letting them be happy and go out with who they want and not hurting them by not letting them be with people they like just because of me.
Yes it does work both ways, however all I'm saying is that what's often best for both people (person a so they dont hurt their friend and person b so they dont get hurt) is to stick to people outside of your immediate friend circle.

I'm not saying this should be a strict rule, just that I can see situations arising where you'd not go out with a girl you might otherwise like.
 

iamsickofyear12

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Enteebee said:
Yes it does work both ways, however all I'm saying is that what's often best for both people (person a so they dont hurt their friend and person b so they dont get hurt) is to stick to people outside of your immediate friend circle.

I'm not saying this should be a strict rule, just that I can see situations arising where you'd not go out with a girl you might otherwise like.
I think It's best for one person to be happy and the other not to be a whiny little bitch.
 

Enteebee

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I think It's best for one person to be happy and the other not to be a whiny little bitch.
Well I, personally, can think of a lot of situations where I wouldn't be happy going out with a girl (when I could go out with others) knowing that my mate is going to be disappointed/upset... I.e. The short term happiness gains don't look as great when you factor in the risks/harm/other possibilities of happiness you had.
 

jumb

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mates before dates, bros before ho's?
 

Enteebee

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I don't think it always has to be true... I mean sure, if you think you've met your soul mate then as much as it might hurt one of your friends you should definately go for it. But if you're looking for someone to just get to know and take a little gamble on, I'd say you're better off not doing so if it's going to compromise your friendship circle or hurt one of your mates etc ^__^
 

Ennaybur

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iamsickofyear12 said:
Doesn't it work both ways. I should be looking out for my friends by letting them be happy and go out with who they want and not hurting them by not letting them be with people they like just because of me.

Why should my friend have to go for another girl when there is already one he likes that likes him?
yeah but what about mates before dates?

that's pretty important for a lot of guys
 

Enteebee

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Ennaybur said:
yeah but what about mates before dates?

that's pretty important for a lot of guys
arguably that can be used both ways.
 

Enteebee

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Ennaybur said:
how?

most people would take it as meaning preserve the friendship above girls
Your mates should be more accomodating to the girls you like in order to preserve the friendship with you. I think the best way to think it through is as an analysis of the risks/opportunities to see which outweighs which... IMHO most of the time it's probably going to be better for you to stick to people outside your group of friends, unless you have no one.
 

hiphophooray123

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true, mates before dates, but lyke girls can be mates too :eek:.

also guy-girl friendships are naturally different to guy-guy friendships. Also people like affection, im not talking about romantic affection but like 'hehe ur awsm i love u hug hughguhughughguhguhghughugcuddlecuddlecuddlekisskisskisswarmthwarmthwarmth etc' when guys need/want that i guess they tend to lean towards their guy-girl friendships. unless they are gays :eek: like me and stas.

i guess that sounds like guys use their girl-friends just so they have feelings of warmth, which is not what i mean, its a natural tendency. love is an awesome feeling, platonic or romantic, either way, it's one of the healthiest things in a persons social life.

studies have provided evidence to suggest that increased and intimate social support systems lead to more productive and healthier, longer lives.
 
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hiphophooray123 said:
true, mates before dates, but lyke girls can be mates too :eek:.

also guy-girl friendships are naturally different to guy-guy friendships. Also people like affection, im not talking about romantic affection but like 'hehe ur awsm i love u hug hughguhughughguhguhghughugcuddlecuddlecuddlekisskisskisswarmthwarmthwarmth etc' when guys need/want that i guess they tend to lean towards their guy-girl friendships. unless they are gays :eek: like me and stas.

i guess that sounds like guys use their girl-friends just so they have feelings of warmth, which is not what i mean, its a natural tendency. love is an awesome feeling, platonic or romantic, either way, it's one of the healthiest things in a persons social life.

studies have provided evidence to suggest that increased and intimate social support systems lead to more productive and healthier, longer lives.
Awww. :eek:
 

cfair

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i categorise every chick i know in a "yes/no" list, it doesn't matter to me if a girl is a close friend or not, if she likes me / i like her then i don't even think about that when deciding.
 

Enteebee

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hiphophooray123 said:
Also people like affection, im not talking about romantic affection but like 'hehe ur awsm i love u hug hughguhughughguhguhghughugcuddlecuddlecuddlekisskisskisswarmthwarmthwarmth etc' when guys need/want that i guess they tend to lean towards their guy-girl friendships.
I don't see the point in separating that type of affection from romantic/sexual affection tbh... If there was a girl I felt the need to 'cuddlecuddle kiss kiss' I think that means I like her or I'm drunk. IMO such actions are playful sexual promiscuity/romanticism done so under the guise of 'friendship' because it's politically, emotionally convenient.
 

hiphophooray123

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ive had people show me affection who im 100% sure didnt have any romantic feelings for me. It's just warmth, people like it, it's a good feeling. Just like flirting, flirting is fun. The line is often blurred , like 99.999999% of the time. but i still think people can be like that and not have those kind of feelings for one another.
 

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